(no subject)
Ed and Hank
A day without a Gay (and almost a night too)
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all earlier posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
A day without a Gay (and almost a night too)
"Dammit, Hank… I thought you were comin’ out ta help us…"
"Didn’t ya get my message…? I left a message fer ya…"
"I left my phone in the truck..."
"Well I called in ‘gay’ ta day."
"Wha’ the hell are you talkin’ about…?"
"Today was tha’ ‘Day Without a Gay’ I was tellin’ ya about… ‘n folks across the country are s’posed ta call in ‘gay’ as a protest ‘cause we don’t got the same rights as other folks ‘n ta let folks know we’re out there ‘n we matter…"
"So you called in gay… ta me…?"
"Yep."
"I don’t think tha’s exactly what they had in mind, dumbass…"
"Yeah… Prob’bly not… But I figured a whole lotta folks couldn’ do it… ‘cause a who they work fer... or on accounta the economy ‘n all… ‘N I could do it… so’s I did… ‘Cause let’s face it… you cain’t fire me…"
"Yeah... Too bad about tha'..."
"‘N if’n ya could I wouldn’t exactly mind if ya did… So’s I spent the mornin’ writin’ more letters ta Congressfolks about supportin’ gay marriage ‘n repealin’ tha’ ‘Defense of Marriage Act’..."
"Well then least-wise you can come out ‘n help us after lunch…"
"No I cain’t. We’re s’posed ta do somethin’ fer other folks ta day… but I wanted ta do somethin’ besides writin’ a check or just droppin’ off canned goods like we usually do… Only I weren’t sure wha’ ta do ‘cause we keep ta ourselves so much… So I called Betty ‘n she said she heard recent-like about one a them smaller churches in town keepin' a list a folks who need help… ya know like odd-jobs they cain’t do themselves but cain’t afford ta hire someone fer neither… ‘N ya don’t gotta be a church member ta get help or give it… ‘n she said they don’t preach at ya or try ‘n convert ya or nothin’ neither… So Betty started helpin' with tha’… ‘n she said it’s jus’ kinda a word of mouth thing with folks vouchin' fer each other… So’s she called ‘n vouched fer me ‘n got me the name ‘n phone number a this woman… Her name's Estelle… ‘n she needs some help with some leaky faucets ‘n a busted railin’ by her steps ‘n whatnot… ‘n I gave her a call ‘n she said ta day was jus’ fine so’s I’m gonna be headin’ over there..."
"Guess I cain’t exactly argue with ya doin’ somethin’ like tha’… But…"
"Jeez… Is my watch right…? I didn’t realize it was so late already… Sorry, Ed… I gotta get goin’…… I’ll see ya later… Love yer dumb ass…"
That night…
"Sorry I’m so late, Ed…"
"Ed…?!?"
'Ya got my message didn’t ya…? Ed…?!?"
"Are ya upstairs already, old man…?"
"Where the hell are ya, Ed…?!?"
"I’m in the guest room."
"Wha’ the hell are ya doin’ in there…? Hey… The door’s locked… Open the door, dumbass… You ain’t servicin’ yerself withou’ me ta help ya out, are ya…?"
"I left ya a note on yer pillow."
"Wha' note…? I didn’t see any note… Wait a minute… Here it is…"
'Dear Dumbass, I’m writing in gay tonight so you’re on your own fer sleeping and whatnot. Sincerely, Ed.'
"Yer kiddin’, right…?"
"……"
"Ed…?"
"……"
"Okay… I get it… Ya got me good… Now c’mon outta there, Ed…"
"……"
"C’mon, Ed…"
"……"
"You ain’t used ta tha’ guest bed… so’s you know ya ain’t gonna sleep good…"
"……"
"Yer gonna toss ‘n turn all night, dumbass…"
"……"
"Ed…?"
"……"
"If’n ya come outta there you can sleep in tomorrow ‘n I’ll get up ‘n do all the chores… Hell… I’ll work all day… doin’ whatever ya want me to…"
"……."
"Dammit, Ed…"
"……"
"Ya know ya got them dogs all confused by bein’ in there… ‘N poor ol’ Edthedog is gen’rally confused enough as it is…"
"……"
"Ed…?"
"……."
"How about this… If’n ya open the door… I’ll get up real early tomorrow mornin’ ‘n I’ll make ya some pancakes before I start workin’… I think maybe we even got some buttermilk…"
"……"
"’N I’ll do whatever else ya want me to… I’ll do whatcha like best ‘til yer seein’ stars ‘n hearin’ them angels sing… ‘n then I’ll…"
click
"I thought tha’ migh’ getcha ta open the door…"
"Ya had me at pancakes, dumbass… I just got my leg caught in the blankets ‘n couldn’t make it ta the door right off…"
"I guess tha’s jus’ lucky fer you then..."
"It sure as hell is."
"And fer me too… ‘Course I had already planned out what all I was gonna do ta ya on my drive home from Estelle's…"
"But…"
"Wha’…?"
"I ain’t ticked off tha’ ya didn’t help out ta day… Well I am… Ya coulda given me some warnin’ ya know…"
"I know… ‘N I shoulda…"
"But… Hell… Ya know I’m gay too, dumbass…"
"Yer kiddin’…? I was not aware of that."
"I jus’ mean… I coulda put off wha’ we were doin’ ‘n gone with ya ‘n helped out ta day too… But… Ya didn’t even ask me if’n I wanted to…"
"Jeez… I didn’t even think ta ask ya ‘cause I didn’t think ya’d wanna do it… I know how ya feel about talkin’ ta folks ya don’t know… Hell… half the time ya don’t even wanna talk ta folks ya do know… ‘N lemme tell ya… Estelle really talked my ear off…"
"Well… I coulda done the work while you did the talkin’…"
"I’m real sorry I didn’t ask ya, Ed… I shoulda…"
"Yeah. Ya shoulda."
"Ya know… I was thinkin’ I’d keep doin’ this… So’s we could do it together regular-like… If’n ya’d wanna…?"
"Tha’d be okay by me… But… Did ya tell her… Estelle… About you bein’ gay ‘n all…?"
"Yep. When she opened the door I said ‘Howdy ma’am, my name is Hank… ‘n I’m heels over head in love with this fella named Ed… Yep… romantic-type, kiss him full on the mouth ‘n marry him if’n I could kinda love… Now what is it I can do fer ya ta day’…?"
"I’m serious, Hank… Did ya tell her…?"
"Yeah. I did. When she noticed my ring ‘n asked about my wife ‘n if’n we had kids I said I wasn’t exactly married but I’d sure as hell like ta be ‘n then I told her about you… So’s ya gotta know… if’n we do this together… I ain’t gonna bring it up outta the blue or nothin’… but I ain't gonna try 'n hide it neither... 'n if’n someone asks me about bein' married I’m gonna point ta you ‘n say ‘Ya see that tall, handsome, seemin’ly-mute fella workin’ his butt off over there…? Well he’s all mine… ev’ry which way but legal-like'..."
"How’d she take it… when ya told her…?"
"She chased me outta her house with a big ol’ broom."
"If’n she’d a done tha’ ya prob'ly woulda been home a whole lot earlier."
"True ‘nough… But she was a l’il taken aback… ‘N she cooled off towards me some… fer a while anyways… But then I guess her wantin' ta talk overcame any misgivin's she had… ‘N then when things were takin’ longer than expected she fed me dinner… ‘n by the time I left we were good ol’ friends… ‘N she even sent you a plate of cookies… Hell... even folks who ain't met ya wanna feed ya..."
"She sent cookies, huh…?"
"Yep. Them cut-out kind... ‘N I’m almost 100% sure they ain’t poisoned ‘cause I had a couple of ‘em after dinner ‘n I’m still standin’."
"Well tha' was real nice a her."
"It sure was… 'N they're real good... But… here’s the other thing… if’n ya wanna do this with me... I’d expect you ta claim me as yer own too… If'n you were asked point-blank about yer marital status anyways… D’ya think you could do tha’…?"
"Yeah… I guess so… But… what would I say exactly…? Wait… Don’t answer that… I think I’d rather come up with somethin’ on my own…"
"Suit yerself."
"But… D’ya think the folks at tha’ church might object... ya know... ta us helpin’ folks on tha’ list…?"
"Not all folks at all churches think gay folks are evil, Ed… So I wouldn’ worry about it… ‘N if’n someone complains… well… we’ll jus’ deal with tha’ when the time comes…"
"They’d prob’bly be more likely ta complain about the quality of yer work anyways..."
"You think the quality of my work is lackin’ in some way…? Well then maybe I’d better not make ya breakfast tomorrow mornin’… ‘cause I wouldn’ wanna end up servin’ ya pancakes tha' wouldn' be up ta yer exactin' standards 'n specifications… ‘N I bet I ain’t ever made them angels sing fer ya neither… so’s maybe I should just quit tryin’…"
"Yer pancakes ain’t half bad… 'N they’re a helluva lot better than some I’ve had…"
"Gee, thanks a lot."
"’N I hear them angels singin’ ev’ry single time…"
"Ya do, huh…?"
"Or maybe it’s them dogs howlin’ because yer singin’… Or vice versa… I ain’t real sure… but I definitely hear somethin’…"
"Well I’m gonna make damn sure there’s no mistakin’ that yer hearin’ actual, real-live singin’ angels tonight… C’mere, dumbass…"
Later…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odf0KpluvgM
"Do you hear that, Hank…?"
"Yeah. I hear it."
"It ain’t quite what I was expectin’…"
"Me neither. It's usually more like Ella Fitzgerald or Peggy Lee or Elvis or Otis Redding or Roy Orbison or Sam Cooke or..."
"Patsy Cline or Johnny Cash or Lorne Greene or..."
"Lorne Greene...?"
"You got a problem with tha'...?"
"I ain't sure."
"Well... This is definitely… uh… other-worldly…"
"It sure is."
"Well… whoever she is... she sings a helluva lot better than you anyways…"
"Wait a minute… I think that’s Mrs. Miller…."
"Who…?"
"Mrs. Miller… I remember seein’ her on TV… back in the 60’s…"
"Wha’s her first name…?"
"I don’t think she had one… Damn… I always loved Mrs. Miller."
"That explains a lot."
"C’mon, Ed… Admit it… She kinda grows on ya… doesn’t she…? ‘Oooh oooh oooh... Don’t ever make me cry through looong lonely nights withooout your love’… Be always true to me... keep this day in your heart eternally… Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo'…"
"I’m purty sure singin’ along with other-worldly music ain’t allowed..."
"Why the hell wouldn’t it be allowed…?"
"I dunno… I was just hopin’…"
"I love yer dumb ass, Ed."
"I love you too, Hank."
"Hey... D'ya you want one a them cookies...?"
"I could go fer a cookie."
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
"Ya know damn well I didn't mean it tha' way."
"You sure...?"
"Fine. I'll be righ' back."
"'N wouldya bring me a glass of milk...?"
"Ya want me ta make the pancakes tomorrow mornin' too...?"
"Thanks. Tha'd be great."
"I was bein' sarcastic, dumbass."
"You sure...? I didn't get tha'..."
"Yer still makin' the pancakes."
"Okay... I'm still makin' the pancakes."
Later...
"Lorne Greene, huh...?"
"Go ta sleep, dumbass."
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