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Ed and Hank’s Thanksgiving: The Prequel
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Ed and Hank's Thanksgivin'... The Prequel
(Not as funny or as sweet as the next day.
Which is why Hank wasn't going to post it to begin with
but here it is, for better or for worse.)
“That ain’t gonna work, Hank.”
“Yeah it is. I do it this way all the time.”
“Then ya do it wrong all the time.”
“Been doin’ it this way since I was twelve years old.”
“Then ya been doin’ it wrong fer a helluva long time.”
"More than one way ta do it."
"Yep. Tha'd be the righ' way 'n yer way."
“Guess yer in one a yer moods ta day, huh...?”
“Nope. Even worse. Think I migh’ be in one a yer moods.”
“Jeez… Jus' came out here ta give ya a hand... Wha’ the hell’s wrong with you, Ed?"
“Nothin’s wrong with me. Wha’ the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Nothin’ was wrong with me… ‘til I came out here.”
“Well then maybe you should jus’ get the hell outta here ‘n let me do it myself so's I can do it right.”
“Fine. 'N fuck you too.”
“That a insult or an invitation?”
“That old line ain’t gonna work on me this time.”
“Worked on ya last time. ‘N the time ‘fore tha’…”
“Well it ain’t gonna work this time."
"Hank..."
"Where’s Bill at anyways?”
“Bill's gone. ‘N he ain’t comin’ back ta day.”
“Ya run him off too, huh?”
"Hank…”
…
…..
“This don’ mean you ain’t a jackass.”
“This don’ mean you weren’t doin’ it wrong.”
“Yeah... 'N I s’pose you think ‘m doin’ this wrong too?”
“Ya ain’t never done this wrong yet… Near as I can tell, anyways... Could always be a first time though…”
"Yer damn lucky I love ya, old man..."
"'N don' think I don' know it, dumbass..."
"Coulda fooled me..."
"Hank..."
…
….
“Now... you gonna tell me what the hell’s really buggin’ you, Ed?”
“Nothin’… ‘S jus’… Jeez... Lemme get m' self put back ta gether here..."
"So...? What is it? I ain't budgin' from this spot 'til ya tell me. "
"'S jus'... you gettin’ us roped inta goin’ ta tha’ damn dinner tomorrow…"
“Betty ‘n Bill have been awful nice ta us. Think the least we could do is show up ta dinner. ‘Sides… Betty don’ like the thought of us sittin’ here all by our selves.”
“But I like the thought of us sittin’ here all by our selves. 'Sides... We only know Betty ‘n her mom ‘n Bill… rest a them folks we don’ know or don’ hardly know…”
“C’mon, Ed… It migh’ be fun… 'N I kinda get tired of it jus' bein' the two a us all the time... not havin' no big ol' family 'round. Dontcha ever wonder wha' tha'd be like?”
"Nope."
"Well, I do."
“But... What if folks… What if there’s some folks there tha’… Did Betty tell folks… 'bout us 'n all...?”
“Yeah… Betty told me she sent out engraved invitations sayin’ yer hereby invited ta Thanksgivin’ dinner featurin’ turkey ‘n stuffin’ ‘n a couple a queer cowboys on display fer yer gawkin’ pleasure... R.S.V.P."
"Wha' the hell does R.S.V.P. stand fer, anyways?"
"Don' know the 'xact words... Jus' know it's French fer you dumbasses better tell me if'n yer comin' ta my party or not. 'N I already told Betty we are... so's we are... 'cause it'd be real rude not to."
"Ya shoulda asked me first."
"Yeah. I shoulda. But you jus' woulda said 'no'. So's I didn'."
"Well ya shoulda."
"Said I shoulda. But I didn'. 'N we're goin'."
"Maybe yer goin'. But tha' don' mean I'm goin'."
"C'mon, Ed. I promised Betty we'd both be there. Ya ain't got nothin' ta worry 'bout... Betty wouldna invited us if'n she thought folks'd gawk 'n glare 'n throw stuff at us."
"Guess not. Shit."
"'N if'n folks do start gawkin' or glarin' or throwin' stuff at us we can leave."
"Shit."
"There's gonna be turkey, 'n stuffin' 'n sweet potatoes 'n mashed potatoes 'n gravy 'n cranberry sauce..."
"'N pie...?"
"'Course there'll be pie, dumbass. Betty's mom's pie."
"Well... Okay... But if'n anyone says anythin' 'bout us or glares at us or somethin'... we're leavin'."
"'S a deal. So's... Ya didn' really run Bill off again, didya?"
"Nah... Let him go 'cause he had a buncha errands ta run fer Betty."
"Good. Now... d'ya wan' me ta help ya with this...?"
"Tha' depends... You gonna do it yer way or you gonna do it the righ' way?"
"Dammit, Ed..."
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