(no subject)

[myexcite]

Mark and I are fine now, I think. This past weekend I finally talked to him about EVERYTHING that I had on my chest. Including everything I've written on this thing, and everything else that I've been keeping to myself. I don't think I exactly was going to talk to him about it anymore (just because of the fact that I was tired of fighting all the time), because I had made plans to go look at some apartments in Richmond Hill later on this week to move out. But, we were at Shinto's, this Japanese restaraunt in Richmond Hill, and had JUST gotten our food before I asked Mark something and he completely took it the wrong way and he got a box for his food (didn't even eat any) and then wanted the ticket to leave. God, he's so embarassing out in public sometimes. We leave there, get in the car and he's driving with his music up loud. I'm so pissed off at this point that I just want to tell him to stop the car, get out, and walk home to get my shit and get out. But I decided to turn the radio down instead. So, I turned it down, started to sigh, and he just looked at me...kinda like, what the fuck are you doing?. I apologized for asking the question I had at dinner, and slowly started to tell him more and more, before finally, everything was out on the table, everything was off my chest, I had cried, laughed, and everything by that time. and next thing I know, everything's okay. Nothing's wrong anymore. I'm finally free to live my life how I want it, with the company of the one I love and my baby boy. God, I am so happy that everything is finally taken care of. If not, he knows that I will leave. He knows how close to leaving I was. and he really doesn't want to lose what we have, so we're going to work things out. I know I'm not perfect, just as he's not. I'm just glad that I can finally walk the way I want to, talk the way I want to, do what I want to, and not have to worry about getting scolded for doing something wrong. He knows he's not my daddy and that he's my boyfriend. he finally knows that he can't control my money, my social life (even tho I don't really have much of one), and finally last night, he got up at 4 something with the baby. Fed him, made his tummy feel better since he was gassy, and then put him to sleep. I thought that was so sweet! He did it all on his own, without me asking him to. he just kinda got the jist of everything this past weekend, when we talked about everything. I didn't focus so much on him and peanut as I did with us just yet. But he's working on that without me even saying anything to him. I'm happy. finally.

I looked at my calendar and completely forgot about my soon-to-be step-brother getting married this weekend. I have to be here this weekend, because I promised him that I'd watch Hannah, while they did their own little thing the night before the wedding. So yea. I can't come this weekend. I guess I'm gonna miss seeing y'all before you leave for college. But I'll figure something out.

I'm sorry!

I am coming soon tho. promise :)