(no subject)
i hate feeling betrayed. sarah calls from her new apartment (..hoorah) that she and caity just moved into together and expects me to be happy for her. she was my ticket out of here, the here being the home i've been recently threatened of getting kicked out of anyways. i didn't want to move in with a boyfriend this early, i wanted to move in with a close friend or relative, in her case both. but now she's ditched plans with me and rubbed them in my face and expects me to be glad that she did so.
i guess i'm considering his offer. it's practically a year away anyways and since i'm such a "horrible burden" on my parents shoulders. who wants to live with parents that say "hey, lets kick out or eldest daughter smack in the middle of school because she isn't training the dog correctly"?
so maybe now you understand my consideration, and why i'm so hurt. but she wouldn't get it so i won't waste my time. i don't want to be bitter because she's my lifelong best friend, but why didn't she tell me this earlier? why couldn't she have said hey, i'm not moving to california? why is it that my feelings come last in almost every situation?
EDIT: after a good sleep, i've thought about it, and i understand her point of view. it makes sense. i knew it was coming anyways. not in a negitive way, just in that california is a long way to expect her to come just for me, and even if she did so things would be complicated. economics, confusion, situating. i couldn't expect that of her. i know i'm always welcome with her, be that in california or in washington, so i can't be bitter. maybe one day she'll come here when she's more ready to do it, and more financially stable, and i'm more financially stable. now the only problem is my parents. how much longer can i really deal with the threats before i make the decision to leave them behind?
i guess i'm considering his offer. it's practically a year away anyways and since i'm such a "horrible burden" on my parents shoulders. who wants to live with parents that say "hey, lets kick out or eldest daughter smack in the middle of school because she isn't training the dog correctly"?
so maybe now you understand my consideration, and why i'm so hurt. but she wouldn't get it so i won't waste my time. i don't want to be bitter because she's my lifelong best friend, but why didn't she tell me this earlier? why couldn't she have said hey, i'm not moving to california? why is it that my feelings come last in almost every situation?
EDIT: after a good sleep, i've thought about it, and i understand her point of view. it makes sense. i knew it was coming anyways. not in a negitive way, just in that california is a long way to expect her to come just for me, and even if she did so things would be complicated. economics, confusion, situating. i couldn't expect that of her. i know i'm always welcome with her, be that in california or in washington, so i can't be bitter. maybe one day she'll come here when she's more ready to do it, and more financially stable, and i'm more financially stable. now the only problem is my parents. how much longer can i really deal with the threats before i make the decision to leave them behind?