Jul 15, 2006 01:03
i feel so many horrible things at one time. how do you let a person go so easily? all in all it was a good 3 years almost, down the drain. all of that heartbreak, making-up, and love completely flushed down the drain, with no second glances. it hurts me so much to think about how much i loved him and wanted it to work, and how little he really cared. going on three days now, but it seems like forever. i guess after tomorrow i'm over that small hill, and i can get my act together.
he texted, once, after reading my myspace. he said he misses me, he thought about me all day, and he's sorry he let this happen. why even bother? honestly, why even put forth the effort to apologize knowing you aren't going to do a thing about it. christ man, just let me cry and hurt in peace, do you have to make everything in life hard for me?
i hate that i miss him so much. yesterday i felt fine, no cares, i could be better off without him, and then it started to sink in, and as the alcohol flushed through my system i thought about him more and more, and with that silly birthday kid laying next to me under the blanket, a perfect opportunity for rebound fun, you were the only person i could think about, the only thing on my mind at all. i'll never live through this.