Hamster vs Cat
Pairing: Zitao/Minseok
Side pairings: Zitao/Lu Han, Minseok/Lu Han
Rating: PG
Word Count: 7034
Warnings: NA
Summary: Zitao isn't impressed when Lu Han brings Minseok home. It's hamster vs cat and it means war - of the fluffiest kind.
Note: Written for Seokmonsters.
All was quiet in the pet shop, and inside his hamster house, Minseok was all warm and cozy. It had only just turned morning, but Minseok knew that Jongdae would be over soon - and almost on cue, there was a tap on the bars of Minseok's cage.
Minseok stuck his head out of his house and sleepily squeaked a greeting.
"Good morning!" Jongdae chirped in response, before his attention was distracted by a speck of dust in his tail feathers. He reached back to preen himself, pulling his feathers through his beak.
Jongdae was an early bird, literally, and the pet shop wouldn't be open for another couple of hours. Minseok yawned before climbing out of his bed. He'd only just fallen asleep - being a hamster he was nocturnal, but unfortunately the pet shop didn't run on a schedule for nocturnal animals - and he wobbled his way over to Jongdae. "You missed a bit," he pointed out and Jongdae squawked.
"Maybe today will be your day," Jongdae said brightly after he'd finished grooming, satisfied that he was looking top notch. Jongdae was a blue parrotlet, the smallest true parrot, and like the rest of his kind he had a big personality in a small body. He was the pet shop mascot but acted like he oversaw the entire place. Which was, to be fair, somewhat true. He kept all the animals in line: smoothing over any disagreements and lending a sympathetic ear to any new arrivals. And over the past couple of weeks he'd observed that all of Minseok's brothers had been sold off, one by one, leaving Minseok as the sole hamster.
There was a burbling from the turtle tank in the fish area and Yixing stuck his head out of the water. "Today will definitely be your day," he agreed, his words coming out in a lazy drawl.
All the animals in the shop seemed to be concerned about Minseok's loneliness now that he was the only hamster left. They didn't seem to realise that hamsters were generally solitary animals, and as a Syrian hamster Minseok was definitely getting to the age where he needed to be alone.
In fact, he relished it. Yesterday Baekhyun, the last of his brothers, had been adopted - and immediately the cage was filled with peacefulness and calmness. There was no one to share the running wheel with, no one who took up the prime sleeping spot right in the middle of the bed, no one to mess up the food and spread seed remnants everywhere.
The other animals meant well, but Minseok thought it was a pretty nice life being solitary. He was free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He made his way over to his food dish, picking up a piece of kibble and inspecting it before popping it into his cheek pouch.
Yes, maybe today would be his day. He found himself hoping that whoever adopted him didn't have any other pets. It would be nice to have his owner all to himself.
*
"Lu Haaaaaan," Zitao purred, jumping on to his owner's lap and nudging him underneath the chin with his head. "Lu Haan, Lu Haaaaan, Lu Haaaaan, Lulululu, pet me, pet me, pet me."
Lu Han chuckled at his cat, scratching him behind his ears - Zitao's favourite spot - just the way he liked it. "Don't get too comfy, Taozi," Lu Han warned as Zitao turned around a couple of times, a sure sign that he was about to curl up for a nap, "You know I have to leave for work soon." Zitao was actually a touch too large for Lu Han's lap, but he liked settling there anyway. Forcing his owner to pay attention to him while he dozed off was one of his favourite past times.
"Pet me, pet me," Zitao said, ignoring him, giving him his best love me!!!! look with his bright green eyes. Zitao was a Savannah cat, and a true beauty with his spotted leopard like coat, large triangular ears, and liquid eyes. Zitao could trace his lineage back to the Serval - an African wildcat - even though he was several generations down. Zitao was large for a domestic cat - again tracing back to his wild cat origins - about the size of a small dog, with long, slim legs and a lithe body.
In Zitao's opinion, he was beautiful and deserving of love, and he never ceased to remind Lu Han exactly how precious he was.
And Lu Han did love him. Zitao had no complaints about his owner, having been with him for several years. He'd come to be adopted by him through Lu Han's friend - Joonmyeon, who breeded Savannahs. After seeing Zitao as a tiny kitten, Lu Han had fallen in love with him instantly. Fortunately for him, despite the breed being normally ridiculously expensive, Lu Han had been able to purchase Zitao at a discounted rate as the cat wasn't a regulation colour - being a silver/lilac rather than the desired brown/black. Despite his "incorrect" colouring, Zitao was a stunning cat - and he knew it.
Zitao had finally gotten comfortable on Lu Han's lap after turning in circles five times, when he was suddenly deposited on the floor. He meowed in anger. "Lulu!"
"Sorry baby, I need to go to work. Have a good day, okay? Love you my precious." Lu Han bent down, giving him a big stroke, before he straightened up to leave.
Zitao sunk his claws into Lu Han's pant leg, looking up with a scowl. "No, Lu Han. LOVE ME."
Lu Han reached down to dislodge his claws from his pants. "Taozi, we've discussed this. I'll see you tonight - maybe I'll even bring you a treat."
Zitao's ears flickered at the sound of a treat. Lu Han spoiled him, often coming home with something special for Zitao just because. Zitao loved a piece of fresh fish - Lu Han would carefully remove all the bones, of course - but what he liked more were the days that Lu Han visited the butcher, coming back with fresh steak for the both of them.
He was starting to drool just thinking about it and was surprised by the sound of the door closing, indicating Lu Han leaving the house.
"Lu Han!" he cried at the closed door before, disgruntled, he slunk his way over to his food bowl. He gave the cat biscuits in there a sniff and turned his nose up. He didn't like this brand - he'd told Lu Han this many times before, but the stupid human hadn't yet learnt to speak cat. Dumb humans. Zitao understood Lu Han.
Zitao stuck a paw into the biscuits and, with one quick swipe, scooped the entire contents out of the bowl and on to the floor. He stuck his nose into the air and sauntered over to Lu Han's desk, located underneath the living room window. It was one of Zitao's favourite napping spots, as it was right by the window sill and the sun streamed in during the afternoon. Zitao jumped on to the desk, knocking off a stack of papers with his tail and settled into a ball.
Lu Han could clean that up later, he decided. Right now, he was going to have a nap.
*
Minseok had been in the middle of a lazy afternoon nap himself when there was the sound of human voices outside his cage. He stuck his head out of his house, blinking slowly in the light, and was greeted by a squeal.
"Look Jongin!" the human peering into his cage exclaimed. He was grabbing the other human's arm and almost vibrating with excitement. "Isn't it adorable?"
The human had a nice voice, Minseok supposed. He pulled himself out of his house, plopping his ass on the floor of the cage, and looked up. The human gave out another squeal before racing off.
Not too long later, he returned with a pet shop employee, who removed the lid and gently reached in to scoop Minseok up. Minseok resisted the urge to bite him - he didn't like the cologne his particular pet shop human wore - but he wasn't held for long until he was passed over to Excited Squealy Human.
"Hello," Minseok said, sitting there on his haunches and peering up. It was rather bright in the store and Minseok didn't have very good eyesight to begin with, but Excited Squealy Humany looked nice enough - for a human. "I'm Minseok." At least this human smelt nicer than the pet shop one.
"It's so so cute, isn't it, Jongin?" the Human said, giving his friend a nudge with his free arm. "I know we just came in for dog food, but… do you think I should?"
The friend, Jongin, Minseok supposed, shrugged but agreed. "I guess so. I'm more of a dog person myself, but I guess it's cute." He stood there patiently while Excited Squealy Human cooed over Minseok. "But -- don't you have a cat? Do cats even get along with hamsters?"
"Taozi? Oh, Taozi is an angel. I'm sure they'd get along."
"I'm not sure angel is the correct word," Jongin muttered, but Excited Squealy Human didn't seem to hear him - though Minseok did.
"You have a cat?" Minseok asked. Minseok wasn't sure how he felt about cats - there weren't any in the pet shop as it wasn't the season for kittens - but he supposed a cat might be okay, as long as they lived separate lives.
In any event, Excited Squealy Human didn't seem to speak hamster so he wasn't any help. Maybe Minseok had been expecting too much: in his experience, humans were all generally hopeless, particularly the ones who ran the pet shop.
"Do you want to come home with me?" Excited Squealy Human cooed at him and Minseok cleaned his whiskers with his paws.
"Suppose so. Sounds alright." He wondered again if the cat would be a problem but then shrugged. He could deal with it.
*
The sound of the key being turned in the lock woke Zitao from his slumber. He yawned, stretching his front legs out, and then bounded to his feet.
"Lu Han!!!" he cried, running over to greet his owner. "Did you bring me a treat? Did you? Lulu? Lu Han?" Lu Han was carrying a large box with holes poked in it, and Zitao looked up at it curiously as he wound his way around Lu Han's legs. "What's that, Lulu? Is it for me?"
"Taozi, calm down, it's good to see you too." But he smiled as he said it, perching the box on his hip so it freed up a hand so he could reach down and give Zitao a quick stroke before making his way into the living room.
"Is that for me? What is it?" Zitao asked excitedly, jumping up on the couch as Lu Han placed the box on the coffee table in the middle of the room.
"Guess what we have?" Lu Han asked him, kneeling in front of the table. "A new addition to the family!"
Addition? Zitao cocked his head, looking at his owner in confusion. "So it's not steak? I was hoping for steak."
The top of the box was lightly taped together, and Lu Han ripped it open before reaching in to pull out a cage, which he placed on the table. The cage was made of wire, with a bottom and lower sides made of plastic.
Zitao stared at it. "Is that ---?"
"Look, our new friend!" Lu Han said proudly. "This is Minseok! Come out Minseokkie," he cooed at the cage. The straw bedding in the corner rustled, and out popped a little caramel coloured ball of fluff.
Zitao hissed in anger. "Is that a mouse? Why would you bring me a mouse? You know I don't eat them!" Despite Zitao's wild cat origins, he thought hunting was beneath him. He preferred his meals freshly prepared and deboned for him, thank you very much.
"He's a hamster," Lu Han said, opening the top of the cage and reaching in to give the top of Minseok's head a gentle stroke with his finger. "Isn't he cute?"
"He's a mouse," Zitao hissed. "A dirty, yucky, disgusting mouse."
"I'm a hamster, actually," Minseok said to him. Zitao narrowed his eyes, watching enviously as Minseok preened up into Lu Han's touch.
"Hamster, mouse, whatever. Get out of my house! You're not staying here!"
"I don't think it's up to you," Minseok said. He allowed one last stroke of his head before he waddled over to his food bowl. It was empty, of course, since it had been cleared for the trip home, and he blinked cutely up at his new owner.
"Oh!" Lu Han jumped to his feet. "Of course. Let's get you all set up." He lifted up the cage and placed it on top of his desk, right where Zitao normally napped. Zitao followed him over to the desk, protesting, and he jumped on the chair before climbing on top of the table to peer into the cage.
Inside, Minseok was smirking at him, and stroking his whiskers with a tiny paw. "Looks like I'm here to stay." He paused when Lu Han returned with fresh water and seeds for his food bowl. "Thanks Lu Hannie," he squeaked.
"Lu Hannie?" Zitao screeched. "He's MY owner. You don't get to call him Lu Hannie!" He batted at the cage. "Get out!"
"Now, now, Taozi," Lu Han said admonishingly, picking him up and dumping him on the floor. Zitao's fur fluffed up in annoyance. "Be nice to Minseokkie." He started cooing to the hamster again, and it made Zitao want to be sick.
"I'll get you later, Minseokkie," he hissed before stalking out of the room, tail lashing wildly from side to side.
*
Zitao glared into the cage, where Minseok was happily munching on a carrot.
It was late, and Lu Han had already gone to bed, but while Zitao was also doing his best to sleep someone was being annoyingly loud.
"Could you eat a little more quietly?" Zitao hissed, his nose stuck in between the bars of Minseok's cage.
Minseok blinked at him with those big innocent eyes of his. "Sure," he agreed amicably, spitting out pieces of carrot from his cheek storage as he spoke. A small chunk hit Zitao's nose. "Whatever you say." And then he reached over for another chunk of carrot, and - keeping eye contact with Zitao - he slowly brought it to his mouth and bit down on it. Loudly.
"ARGGGH," Zitao screeched. He leapt off the desk, marching his way into the bedroom. Lu Han had left the door ajar for him, as per usual, and as soon as he entered he jumped straight onto Lu Han's bed, climbing on to his chest. And then he hit Lu Han's nose with his paw. "Lu Han! Lu Han! Lu Han Lu Han Lu Han!!"
Lu Han groaned, covering his nose with his hand. "What is it, Taozi? It's too early for breakfast."
Even though Zitao had told his owner a billion times that his name wasn't Taozi, normally he let it slide. But tonight he was incensed - both by the nickname and the stupid rodent out in the living room. "I DON'T WANT BREAKFAST, YOU IMBECILE," he hissed, his fur sticking straight up and eyes narrowed. "I want that - that - THING out!"
Lu Han groaned again, gripping Zitao under his shoulders. "It's night time. Sleep time." But Zitao was gratified when he pushed the covers aside and sat up.
"Yes Lulu!!" he crowed smugly. Lu Han loved him and he was going to get rid of that pest because he loved him so much.
He wasn't feeling quite so smug when Lu Han dumped him unceremoniously outside the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.
In his cage, Minseok crunched loudly on another carrot.
Zitao seethed.
*
Sehun licked his paw daintily, his ears flicking in disinterest. He had taken the prime spot in the sun, spoiled brat, and normally Zitao would have shoved him over and made him share, but today he was too agitated.
"I don't understand what the problem is," Sehun said, running his paw over his ear. "It's not like he's another cat." Sehun, a white Siamese, was the neighbour's cat and Zitao's best friend, but he wasn't particularly sympathetic at the best of times.
"That's the point!" Zitao cried. He could understand the appeal of adopting another cat - cats, after all, were the superior species and who wouldn't want more of them? "I just don't know what Lu Han sees in that mouse thing."
"I thought he was a hamster."
"Hamster. Mouse. Same thing. Stupid." Zitao paced up and down beside Sehun, growling to himself.
"Could you stop that? All your walking around is making me tired."
But how could Zitao be calm when that rodent had invaded his house? Taken over his owner's affections? Lu Han hadn't even said goodbye to him this morning! He'd given Minseok fresh water, cooed at him with that disgusting baby voice, and then run out the door. Zitao hissed at the memory.
Sehun thwacked Zitao in the face with his tail and then pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. "Naptime," he said firmly, biting down on Zitao's ear. "We'll worry about your rodent problem later."
*
Minseok wandered across the wooden floor unimpeded. This was wonderful, he thought. An entire house to himself.
Zitao was still outside - he'd seen him through the window, lying in the sun with another cat - and Lu Han had gone to work a couple of hours ago. Minseok could explore to his heart's content and not be disrupted by anyone or anything.
He waddled his way to the kitchen, coming across Zitao's food bowl. He gave the contents a deep sniff.
Oh. That smelt good. He'd heard Zitao grumbling this morning, telling Lu Han that he didn't like that brand, but Minseok didn't know why he was being so fussy. He reached in, grabbing one of the biscuits, before settling on his haunches and stuffing it into his cheek pouch.
Maybe he'd just take a few more - it's not like Zitao was eating them.
His little paws grabbed as many as he could, stuffing them firmly into his cheeks until they were so full they were about to explode. Task completed, he dusted off his paws but they weren't clean enough for his liking.
Fortunately there was a big bowl of water right by the cat biscuits. He dipped his paws in, wetting them, and ran them over his whiskers. The water was cool and refreshing and he tipped his head sideways, looking at it for a moment.
Lu Han had purchased Minseok a few wooden chew toys plus some woven willow balls. They'd gotten dusty in Minseok's cage but that bowl had lots of fresh, clean water… perfect for washing up.
It took Minseok a while to climb back to his cage and drag his toys across the floor, but soon he was happily dunking them into the water. He was so busy swishing them around that he didn't notice Zitao slinking his way through the cat flap.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Zitao screeched.
"Cleaning my toys," Minseok said, his voice a bit muffled from all the biscuits he'd stuffed in his cheeks. He splashed about for a bit. "What does it look like?"
"That's my water bowl," Zitao said menacingly, stalking his way over and glaring at him. "MINE."
He didn't scare Minseok. "Make me."
Zitao's eyes narrowed. "Oh I will." He opened his mouth, exposing his sharp teeth, but Minseok wasn't bothered. He'd show that cat who was the boss.
Even when Zitao let out his most scary growl, Minseok didn't react. He lifted a paw out of the water and flicked wet drops at Zitao's nose.
"Right. Fine. I warned you! I'm going to eat you!" Zitao lowered his mouth slowly over Minseok - it was wide enough to swallow the hamster whole. Minseok yawned as Zitao's teeth gingerly closed around him.
Encased in Zitao's mouth, Minseok got the impression that the cat wasn't sure what to do next. (He wasn't wrong. Zitao didn't eat furry things because the fur got caught in his throat and there were bones. Ew.) So he was held there for a moment, until Minseok decided he'd had enough.
Minseok bit down, right on Zitao's sensitive tongue, causing the cat to release Minseok with a yelp as he jumped into the air. Minseok fell safely to the floor and watched as Zitao pawed at his tongue, saying accusingly. "You bit me!"
Minseok shrugged. "You were going to eat me."
Zitao bared his teeth, ears lying flat on his head, giving Minseok his most threatening snarl. "I'll do worse than that to you!"
It was at that moment that Lu Han returned home.
*
Minseok was feeling a tiny bit guilty. Sure, he was a rodent, but he wasn't heartless.
Even from his cage he could hear Zitao in the laundry, shouting like the house was on fire, or besieged by demons, or something.
"Lu Han! Luhaaaaaaaaaaaan! Lulululu!!"
Earlier, when Lu Han had walked in on their altercation, he'd immediately grabbed Zitao by the scruff of the neck, giving him a long, loud scolding. Then he'd locked him in the laundry.
It wasn't all Zitao's fault, Minseok supposed. He had kind of provoked him. He'd stolen all his cat biscuits, used his water bowl as a washing up sink, and bitten his tongue.
"Poor Minseokkie," Lu Han cooed at him. Minseok was currently sitting in the palm of Lu Han's hand, as Lu Han cuddled him to his cheek. "Are you okay? Did that mean wean kitty cat hurt you?"
The baby tone Lu Han was using was starting to make Minseok feel a bit ill and he squirmed in Lu Han's grip. Unfortunately this just made Lu Han hold him tighter. "Poor baby wabie."
Minseok was really going to be sick.
There's a saying that you should be careful what you wish for, and Minseok was starting to learn the meaning of that phrase. With Zitao no longer Top Cat in Lu Han's affections, all of Lu Han's love was seemingly being transferred to Minseok.
And oh. The human had A LOT of love. Far more than Minseok could deal with. Lu Han was nice but he seemed exceptionally clingy and affectionate. How did Zitao put up with this?? This was the third time since Lu Han had arrived home that he'd pulled Minseok out of his cage to hold him and pet him and cuddle him. By now, Minseok just wanted to be left alone.
"Can I go back to my cage now?" Minseok asked Lu Han.
"Yes, you are the cutest!" Lu Han cooed at him. Minseok didn't know how much more of this he could take.
Later that evening, after Lu Han finally went to bed, leaving Zitao locked in the laundry, Minseok crept out of his cage and over to the laundry door. He was still feeling a tiny bit guilty about the cat.
"Hey - you okay in there?" he asked through the gap. After a moment he could see Zitao laying his head on the floor, peering at him.
"What do you care? You just want my owner to yourself," Zitao huffed.
"I don't!" Minseok told him. "That's not what I want."
"Yeah, well," Zitao said grumpily. "That's what you're getting. I heard him on the phone with Joonmyeon. He talked about giving me up!"
What? That would be a disaster! Minseok couldn't let Lu Han give Zitao away - Minseok couldn't handle being the sole pet in the household. He'd be SMOTHERED in attention.
"But I'm not going to let him," Zitao declared. "As soon as he lets me out of here - I'm running away! That'll show him to choose a hamster over me!" Minseok could hear Zitao grumbling through the door, his annoyance obvious.
"It'll be great!" Zitao was saying, mostly to himself, his voice going all pitchy with excitement as he forgot his grumpiness. "I'll be free - to live the way I want to live! No more of this domestic cat business. I'll be WILD - like my ancestors! I'll hunt and live on my wits - just like they did!"
Minseok heard Zitao get up and start pacing excitedly around the laundry. This situation was going from bad to worse. Zitao was a pampered housecat - there was no way he could survive out there by himself. Minseok had to fix this, before he inadvertently became the cause of Zitao running away to an almost certain death.
"What if there was another solution?" Minseok squeaked through the gap. "What if… we called a truce?"
There was a long pause, and then Zitao's eye reappeared underneath the door. "What are you talking about?"
"A truce. Then Lu Han wouldn't feel the need to give you up and you won't have to run away." Plus Zitao would be around to soak up Lu Han's affections. "Everyone's happy!"
Zitao's eye narrowed. "What's in it for you?"
"Nothing!"
"Hmmmm," Zitao said suspiciously. "I don't believe you - what's in it for you?"
"Well... Lu Hannie is a little over-attentive…" he confessed.
There was a long, long pause from the other side of the door and then a low chortle. Zitao's eye disappeared, and Minseok could just make out the cat rolling on to his back in amusement. "You need me. You NEED me!"
"Forget it then!" Minseok grumped. He could handle Lu Han on his own. Probably. He tried to ignore the peals of laughter coming from the other side.
Then it stopped and a claw slid through the gap. "Okay little mouse. We have a deal. Let's shake on it."
"I'm a hamster," Minseok replied crankily, but he took Zitao's claw in his paw, careful not to cut himself, and they shook on it.
"Hey," Zitao said after a while. "Can you let me out?"
"I'm a HAMSTER," Minseok said, exasperated. "I'm about as tall as the doorknob. How the hell am I meant to do that?"
"Hopeless," Zitao declared, before remembering that they had agreed to a truce. "I mean… thanks anyway." When Minseok peeked under the door again he found Zitao settled down to wait until the morning. After a while, he spoke again. "Tell me your story little hamster. How did you end up here?"
*
Zitao and Minseok talked for most of the night - their conversation only ending when Minseok heard Lu Han's alarm ring, his cue to scamper back into his cage. Zitao waited behind the door for his owner, and when Lu Han eventually opened it, he stalked out, head and tail held high, going straight for the couch.
Lu Han followed him, giving him a lecture, but Zitao ignored him, leaping onto the couch and making himself comfortable.
"You hear me, Taozi? You better be good to Minseokkie from now on. Don't make me regret leaving you two alone."
In response, Zitao lifted one of his back legs and started licking his balls. He could hear Lu Han falter in his lecturing - he always hated watching when Zitao cleaned there. Zitao made sure to really get in there, doing those nuzzling, sucking noises that he knew Lu Han hated, and soon Lu Han stomped off.
Zitao waited until the front door opened and closed, indicating that Lu Han had left for work, before he finished his ministrations. He could hear Minseok giggling from his cage on the desk.
"You're very flexible," Minseok commented. "You should've seen Lu Hannie's face. Even with my eyesight I could see how red he got."
Zitao prowled over, jumping up on the desk chair so he was at eye level with the hamster. "Lulu hates it," Zitao agrees. "Dunno why. He's probably just jealous because he's not flexible enough to lick his own balls. You should try it next time he's pestering you."
Minseok peered down his own body. "Think it'll work?"
"Positive," Zitao said, his ears turning forward. "No one knows what annoys Lulu more than me."
Zitao jumped down from the chair, intending to head out to find Sehun, but then he had a second thought. His head slowly rose back over the edge of the desk to look at Minseok. "I'm going outside. Do you… do you want to come?"
Minseok blinked at him. "Outside? What's so interesting about outside?"
Zitao leapt on to the desk so he could pace along the edge, his tail flicking quickly from side to side, sweeping everything in its path - paperwork, pens, even Lu Han's favourite mug - to the floor. "Oh, outside is great! It's the best! There's sunshine and grass and butterflies and sometimes Sehun and I dig up the flower beds! Lulu loves it when we keep him busy." A quizzical expression passed over Zitao's face, and he stilled, peering over his shoulder at Minseok. "Wait - you've been outside before, right?"
Minseok's cheeks bulged as he passed a carrot piece from one cheek pocket to the other. "Not exactly…"
Zitao's tail stilled and his eyes grew large. "Right! Out of the cage! Now!" He started clawing at the top where the door was located, almost knocking the entire cage off the desk.
Minseok squeaked at him. "What? Hey! Stop that - I'm coming!" Once Zitao stopped, Minseok climbed up his hamster wheel, swinging his way across to the top and unhooking the door. He pulled himself out, ruffling his fur. "Fine, I'm out. Now what?"
Zitao grinned so widely his sharp teeth were exposed. Then he ducked his head. "Now it's time to climb on. It's time for outside!"
*
Minseok clung onto one of Zitao's ears as the cat bounded his way across the living room, heading for the cat door. He hung on when Zitao nudged the door open with his nose, and Minseok flattened himself to Zitao's head when he ducked his way through.
The cat door lead to a large backyard: outside. The part nearest the house was paved, with terracotta coloured tiles, but beyond that there was a green lawn, bordered by a wooden fence. The edges of the lawn had garden beds planted with flowers, swaying gently in the breeze, and there was even a tall tree in the corner.
Minseok was awestruck. It smelt so different out here. In the pet store, it had always smelt somewhat clinical, with the underlying aroma of the different animals. Lu Han's house smelt mostly like human and cat. But out here… Minseok took a deep, deep breath.
It was clean and fresh - the nicest fragrance that Minseok had ever experienced in his life.
"See? Told you?" Zitao said smugly. "Wait until we get to the grass." He skipped over the paving, and then lowered his head so Minseok could climb down. Minseok marvelled when he was on the ground. The grass was soft under his feet and the greenest green he'd ever seen. He plucked a piece and gave it a nibble. Yup. Green. Fresh. Delicious.
Meanwhile, Zitao was rolling around, to and fro, on his back, rubbing his body all over the grass. Then suddenly he bounced to his feet, his attention captured by a butterfly, and he gave chase, prancing off after it.
Minseok plopped on to his butt, still chewing on the grass, enjoying the sunshine. Zitao had been right - outside was awesome. He was about to doze off when a shadow came over him, and Minseok looked up to find another cat peering down at him. This cat, like Zitao, was lithe and lean, but his fur was white except for his points - face, ears, legs and tail. He had bright blue eyes that looked down at Minseok quizzically.
"Mrrrrrrrowww," the cat said, pinning Minseok down easily with a paw. "What have we here? A little mouse?"
"I'm not a fucking mouse!" Minseok shouted, struggling hopelessly, but also really pissed off. He managed to sink his teeth into the soft pad of the cat's paw and the cat hissed, drawing it up and holding it to his chest with an offended expression.
It was at that moment that Zitao came bouncing back. "Sehun! I see you've met Minseok!" He gave Sehun a head butt in greeting before asking, "What happened to your paw?"
"Little mouse bit me," Sehun grumbled, giving it a good clean with his tongue before holding it out for Zitao to inspect. "Hope he doesn't have any diseases."
"I'm not a mouse and I don't have any diseases!" Minseok interrupted, exasperated. "And he deserved it."
"Zitao's the one who said you were a mouse," Sehun said petulantly. "Zitao said 'I don't know what Lu Han sees in that mouse thing'."
"Okay, I did, I did, but that was before we were friends," Zitao said apologetically to Minseok who had bristled at being called a mouse yet again.
"Friends?"
Zitao stilled, even his tail ceasing any movement, and his eyes big and bright. "Aren't we?"
"Oh." Minseok puffed out his cheeks in thought. Minseok had never had a proper friend before - he definitely wasn't friends with his brothers, and Jongdae back at the pet shop had been more like the Shop Overseer than an actual friend. "I guess we are?"
Sehun rolled his eyes at them both. "Well isn't this nice. But also boring. I'm going for a nap."
*
Zitao, Minseok, and Sehun spent the rest of the afternoon in the backyard. Sehun slept for most of it, curled up in the sun and only moving when it moved, while Zitao showed Minseok all his favourite spots.
His enthusiasm was cute, and Minseok humoured him, although he did have to draw the line at being hauled up the tree. He didn't need to see the view and feel the breeze from up there, thank you very much, no matter how amazing Zitao claimed it to be.
A few hours later the sun had travelled far enough across the sky that it no longer shone directly into the backyard, and Sehun finally woke, stretching, before padding over to the flowerbeds where Minseok and Zitao were located. "Hey!" he complained when he saw the result of their afternoon. "I thought we were going to dig those up together."
Lu Han had re-planted his flowerbeds the other weekend, and the two cats had been waiting for them to grow to a satisfying height before tackling them. They had learnt from experience that there was an optimal period to get the largest reaction.
Zitao gave Sehun a guilty look, a flower stalk hanging out of the side of his mouth. Minseok was sitting on top of his head, chewing on a dandelion that Zitao had found for him as the flowers in the garden bed were poisonous for hamsters, and he blinked at Sehun sleepily.
"Sorry… I wanted to show Minseok," Zitao told Sehun. "I saved one for you?" He nodded towards the sole surviving flower, standing pitifully in the wreckage of the rest. Then he noted the position of the sun in the sky and perked up. "Oh! Lulu will be home soon."
*
Lu Han apprehensively opened the door to his house, hoping that he wouldn't be greeted to a scene of carnage. Since yesterday, when he'd entered to find Taozi snarling at Minseok, he worried that he'd been too hasty in bringing home the hamster.
But when he entered, the house was neat and quiet. Too quiet, knowing his cat. Normally when he arrived home Taozi would be on him instantly, meowing at him loudly and weaving around his feet until Lu Han caved and petted him: scratching behind his ears or rubbing the soft fur on his belly. He loved the way Taozi would always greet him with excitement. Before he'd gotten the cat, he'd always hated having to come home to a cold, quiet house.
Lu Han tiptoed through his living room in case Taozi was having a nap, but after checking all of his pet's favourite nap spots, there was no cat to be seen. Lu Han frowned. Where was he? Taozi had been visibly annoyed at him this morning - probably angry that he'd been locked in the laundry overnight - and Lu Han was suddenly worried. His pet was proud and temperamental, but Lu Han had always loved that fiery streak in him. It made his moments of sweetness - which were, to be fair, quite common - all the sweeter. But despite his insolence, which stemmed more from a bratty mischievousness than anything more sinister, Taozi loved Lu Han and had never not greeted him when he came home before.
Passing by the desk, Lu Han peered into Minseok's cage. There was no hamster visible, so Lu Han supposed he was probably tucked away inside his house, sleeping.
At least, he hoped he was. Because where was his cat? Lu Han frowned, feeling guilty about how he'd acted yesterday. Okay, so Taozi did need to be taught that he couldn't bully the new addition to the family, but Lu Han should probably have been a bit more patient and not sprung it on him. He shouldn't have been so impulsive and should have thought about how it would affect Taozi. He knew that his pet was spoiled and pampered, but that was Lu Han's fault.
It's just that Lu Han had gotten overly excited when he saw the hamster. The only pet he'd been allowed to have when he was a child had been a hamster that looked a lot like Minseok. Seeing him had reminded Lu Han of how much he'd loved that animal. He just couldn't resist.
The missing cat mystery was solved when he looked out the window into the backyard and saw Taozi lying in the flowerbed with the neighbour's cat. He noted that they'd dug up his flowers yet again, but his anger was overridden by the relief he felt at seeing his prized pet.
Though there did seemed to be something odd on Taozi's head...
Lu Han made his way outside, opening the backdoor and calling out, "Taozi? Baby? I'm home."
At his call, Taozi looked up, letting out a loud greeting meow, his tail flicking excitedly, and it warmed Lu Han's heart to see his reaction. As he got closer, he realised that the odd thing on Taozi's head was… furry… and moving… and… Minseok??
*
"Lulu!" Zitao crowed when his owner came out the back door looking for him. "I dug up the flowers for you!" His tail was swishing excitedly at seeing his human. He was big and tall and dumb and didn't know Zitao's proper name, but Zitao loved him anyway. On top of him, Minseok squeaked his own greeting.
"Everything okay out here?" Lu Han asked, crouching down by Zitao's side and giving him a quick stroke before scooping up Minseok. Zitao took the opportunity to jump up, climbing Lu Han until he was perched on his shoulders, and he butted Lu Han's face with his head. Zitao had had such a good day that he'd forgotten all his earlier grievances against his owner. He was hungry now actually. He'd been so busy showing Minseok around the garden that he hadn't eaten all day.
He butted Lu Han in the face again. "Is it dinner time yet, Lulu? Did you buy me steak today? Steak? Rrrrrrowwwwwww. Lu Han, I'm hungry, feed me, Lulu! Minseok, have you had steak before? Steak's the greatest!"
"I don't eat meat," Minseok said in response.
"You're missing out!" Zitao told him, before batting Lu Han's nose sharply with a paw and meowing at him again, "DINNER!" He jumped off his shoulder to the ground and peered up at Minseok, still clutched in Lu Han's hand. "You coming? Lulu, put him down!" he demanded, stretching up to rest his front paws on Lu Han's thigh. He dug his claws in a little.
Lu Han, as per usual, had no idea what he was saying and Zitao grumped as he followed him inside, still holding Minseok. Some day he was going to have to teach that stupid human how to speak animal, he resolved.
Lu Han carefully placed Minseok back into his cage, before heading into the kitchen, and Zitao leaped on to the desk so he could talk to the hamster. "Was today good? It was good, right?"
Minseok paused in the midst of stuffing seeds into his cheeks. "Yeah. It was good," he mumbled. "Maybe we can go out again tomorrow?"
Zitao grinned his big cat grin, the one that exposed his fangs, and stuck his nose through the bars of Minseok's cage. Yeah. Perhaps they could go out again. Or he could show Minseok Lu Han's bedroom - Zitao loved messing up the bed covers, or getting into Lu Han's sock drawer, or destroying the ugly sweaters that Lu Han liked to wear. There was so much they could do!
It was kind of nice to have someone to do things with.
"Okay, tomorrow," he agreed.
*
Minseok shushed Zitao, who was pressed to the ground, snickering to himself.
"Stop laughing," Minseok scolded. "You're being too loud!"
"Sorry!" Zitao said. He stood, stretching up so Minseok could leap off his shoulder on to the bed, where Lu Han was snoring quietly.
"Wow," Minseok commented, whiskers twitching as they both watched Lu Han sleep. "Do all humans sleep like this? They really do look weird."
"Told you."
Minseok poked at Lu Han's cheek with his paw. "Should we wake him up?"
Zitao jumped up, landing gracefully next to the sleeping human. "Nah. Let's go raid the pantry. I heard him saying something about sunflower seeds last night. You like those, right?" He ducked his head and that was Minseok's cue to climb on, gripping Zitao's fur tightly in his paws so he wouldn't fall off.
"Are you ready?"
"Ready," Minseok confirmed, marvelling a little at his life. He never, not in a billion hamster years, would've guessed that he could be friends with a cat. And yet here he was, sitting on top of one like a king, about to cause havoc for their owner - and he couldn't be happier. "Let's go!"
Side pairings: Zitao/Lu Han, Minseok/Lu Han
Rating: PG
Word Count: 7034
Warnings: NA
Summary: Zitao isn't impressed when Lu Han brings Minseok home. It's hamster vs cat and it means war - of the fluffiest kind.
Note: Written for Seokmonsters.
All was quiet in the pet shop, and inside his hamster house, Minseok was all warm and cozy. It had only just turned morning, but Minseok knew that Jongdae would be over soon - and almost on cue, there was a tap on the bars of Minseok's cage.
Minseok stuck his head out of his house and sleepily squeaked a greeting.
"Good morning!" Jongdae chirped in response, before his attention was distracted by a speck of dust in his tail feathers. He reached back to preen himself, pulling his feathers through his beak.
Jongdae was an early bird, literally, and the pet shop wouldn't be open for another couple of hours. Minseok yawned before climbing out of his bed. He'd only just fallen asleep - being a hamster he was nocturnal, but unfortunately the pet shop didn't run on a schedule for nocturnal animals - and he wobbled his way over to Jongdae. "You missed a bit," he pointed out and Jongdae squawked.
"Maybe today will be your day," Jongdae said brightly after he'd finished grooming, satisfied that he was looking top notch. Jongdae was a blue parrotlet, the smallest true parrot, and like the rest of his kind he had a big personality in a small body. He was the pet shop mascot but acted like he oversaw the entire place. Which was, to be fair, somewhat true. He kept all the animals in line: smoothing over any disagreements and lending a sympathetic ear to any new arrivals. And over the past couple of weeks he'd observed that all of Minseok's brothers had been sold off, one by one, leaving Minseok as the sole hamster.
There was a burbling from the turtle tank in the fish area and Yixing stuck his head out of the water. "Today will definitely be your day," he agreed, his words coming out in a lazy drawl.
All the animals in the shop seemed to be concerned about Minseok's loneliness now that he was the only hamster left. They didn't seem to realise that hamsters were generally solitary animals, and as a Syrian hamster Minseok was definitely getting to the age where he needed to be alone.
In fact, he relished it. Yesterday Baekhyun, the last of his brothers, had been adopted - and immediately the cage was filled with peacefulness and calmness. There was no one to share the running wheel with, no one who took up the prime sleeping spot right in the middle of the bed, no one to mess up the food and spread seed remnants everywhere.
The other animals meant well, but Minseok thought it was a pretty nice life being solitary. He was free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He made his way over to his food dish, picking up a piece of kibble and inspecting it before popping it into his cheek pouch.
Yes, maybe today would be his day. He found himself hoping that whoever adopted him didn't have any other pets. It would be nice to have his owner all to himself.
*
"Lu Haaaaaan," Zitao purred, jumping on to his owner's lap and nudging him underneath the chin with his head. "Lu Haan, Lu Haaaaan, Lu Haaaaan, Lulululu, pet me, pet me, pet me."
Lu Han chuckled at his cat, scratching him behind his ears - Zitao's favourite spot - just the way he liked it. "Don't get too comfy, Taozi," Lu Han warned as Zitao turned around a couple of times, a sure sign that he was about to curl up for a nap, "You know I have to leave for work soon." Zitao was actually a touch too large for Lu Han's lap, but he liked settling there anyway. Forcing his owner to pay attention to him while he dozed off was one of his favourite past times.
"Pet me, pet me," Zitao said, ignoring him, giving him his best love me!!!! look with his bright green eyes. Zitao was a Savannah cat, and a true beauty with his spotted leopard like coat, large triangular ears, and liquid eyes. Zitao could trace his lineage back to the Serval - an African wildcat - even though he was several generations down. Zitao was large for a domestic cat - again tracing back to his wild cat origins - about the size of a small dog, with long, slim legs and a lithe body.
In Zitao's opinion, he was beautiful and deserving of love, and he never ceased to remind Lu Han exactly how precious he was.
And Lu Han did love him. Zitao had no complaints about his owner, having been with him for several years. He'd come to be adopted by him through Lu Han's friend - Joonmyeon, who breeded Savannahs. After seeing Zitao as a tiny kitten, Lu Han had fallen in love with him instantly. Fortunately for him, despite the breed being normally ridiculously expensive, Lu Han had been able to purchase Zitao at a discounted rate as the cat wasn't a regulation colour - being a silver/lilac rather than the desired brown/black. Despite his "incorrect" colouring, Zitao was a stunning cat - and he knew it.
Zitao had finally gotten comfortable on Lu Han's lap after turning in circles five times, when he was suddenly deposited on the floor. He meowed in anger. "Lulu!"
"Sorry baby, I need to go to work. Have a good day, okay? Love you my precious." Lu Han bent down, giving him a big stroke, before he straightened up to leave.
Zitao sunk his claws into Lu Han's pant leg, looking up with a scowl. "No, Lu Han. LOVE ME."
Lu Han reached down to dislodge his claws from his pants. "Taozi, we've discussed this. I'll see you tonight - maybe I'll even bring you a treat."
Zitao's ears flickered at the sound of a treat. Lu Han spoiled him, often coming home with something special for Zitao just because. Zitao loved a piece of fresh fish - Lu Han would carefully remove all the bones, of course - but what he liked more were the days that Lu Han visited the butcher, coming back with fresh steak for the both of them.
He was starting to drool just thinking about it and was surprised by the sound of the door closing, indicating Lu Han leaving the house.
"Lu Han!" he cried at the closed door before, disgruntled, he slunk his way over to his food bowl. He gave the cat biscuits in there a sniff and turned his nose up. He didn't like this brand - he'd told Lu Han this many times before, but the stupid human hadn't yet learnt to speak cat. Dumb humans. Zitao understood Lu Han.
Zitao stuck a paw into the biscuits and, with one quick swipe, scooped the entire contents out of the bowl and on to the floor. He stuck his nose into the air and sauntered over to Lu Han's desk, located underneath the living room window. It was one of Zitao's favourite napping spots, as it was right by the window sill and the sun streamed in during the afternoon. Zitao jumped on to the desk, knocking off a stack of papers with his tail and settled into a ball.
Lu Han could clean that up later, he decided. Right now, he was going to have a nap.
*
Minseok had been in the middle of a lazy afternoon nap himself when there was the sound of human voices outside his cage. He stuck his head out of his house, blinking slowly in the light, and was greeted by a squeal.
"Look Jongin!" the human peering into his cage exclaimed. He was grabbing the other human's arm and almost vibrating with excitement. "Isn't it adorable?"
The human had a nice voice, Minseok supposed. He pulled himself out of his house, plopping his ass on the floor of the cage, and looked up. The human gave out another squeal before racing off.
Not too long later, he returned with a pet shop employee, who removed the lid and gently reached in to scoop Minseok up. Minseok resisted the urge to bite him - he didn't like the cologne his particular pet shop human wore - but he wasn't held for long until he was passed over to Excited Squealy Human.
"Hello," Minseok said, sitting there on his haunches and peering up. It was rather bright in the store and Minseok didn't have very good eyesight to begin with, but Excited Squealy Humany looked nice enough - for a human. "I'm Minseok." At least this human smelt nicer than the pet shop one.
"It's so so cute, isn't it, Jongin?" the Human said, giving his friend a nudge with his free arm. "I know we just came in for dog food, but… do you think I should?"
The friend, Jongin, Minseok supposed, shrugged but agreed. "I guess so. I'm more of a dog person myself, but I guess it's cute." He stood there patiently while Excited Squealy Human cooed over Minseok. "But -- don't you have a cat? Do cats even get along with hamsters?"
"Taozi? Oh, Taozi is an angel. I'm sure they'd get along."
"I'm not sure angel is the correct word," Jongin muttered, but Excited Squealy Human didn't seem to hear him - though Minseok did.
"You have a cat?" Minseok asked. Minseok wasn't sure how he felt about cats - there weren't any in the pet shop as it wasn't the season for kittens - but he supposed a cat might be okay, as long as they lived separate lives.
In any event, Excited Squealy Human didn't seem to speak hamster so he wasn't any help. Maybe Minseok had been expecting too much: in his experience, humans were all generally hopeless, particularly the ones who ran the pet shop.
"Do you want to come home with me?" Excited Squealy Human cooed at him and Minseok cleaned his whiskers with his paws.
"Suppose so. Sounds alright." He wondered again if the cat would be a problem but then shrugged. He could deal with it.
*
The sound of the key being turned in the lock woke Zitao from his slumber. He yawned, stretching his front legs out, and then bounded to his feet.
"Lu Han!!!" he cried, running over to greet his owner. "Did you bring me a treat? Did you? Lulu? Lu Han?" Lu Han was carrying a large box with holes poked in it, and Zitao looked up at it curiously as he wound his way around Lu Han's legs. "What's that, Lulu? Is it for me?"
"Taozi, calm down, it's good to see you too." But he smiled as he said it, perching the box on his hip so it freed up a hand so he could reach down and give Zitao a quick stroke before making his way into the living room.
"Is that for me? What is it?" Zitao asked excitedly, jumping up on the couch as Lu Han placed the box on the coffee table in the middle of the room.
"Guess what we have?" Lu Han asked him, kneeling in front of the table. "A new addition to the family!"
Addition? Zitao cocked his head, looking at his owner in confusion. "So it's not steak? I was hoping for steak."
The top of the box was lightly taped together, and Lu Han ripped it open before reaching in to pull out a cage, which he placed on the table. The cage was made of wire, with a bottom and lower sides made of plastic.
Zitao stared at it. "Is that ---?"
"Look, our new friend!" Lu Han said proudly. "This is Minseok! Come out Minseokkie," he cooed at the cage. The straw bedding in the corner rustled, and out popped a little caramel coloured ball of fluff.
Zitao hissed in anger. "Is that a mouse? Why would you bring me a mouse? You know I don't eat them!" Despite Zitao's wild cat origins, he thought hunting was beneath him. He preferred his meals freshly prepared and deboned for him, thank you very much.
"He's a hamster," Lu Han said, opening the top of the cage and reaching in to give the top of Minseok's head a gentle stroke with his finger. "Isn't he cute?"
"He's a mouse," Zitao hissed. "A dirty, yucky, disgusting mouse."
"I'm a hamster, actually," Minseok said to him. Zitao narrowed his eyes, watching enviously as Minseok preened up into Lu Han's touch.
"Hamster, mouse, whatever. Get out of my house! You're not staying here!"
"I don't think it's up to you," Minseok said. He allowed one last stroke of his head before he waddled over to his food bowl. It was empty, of course, since it had been cleared for the trip home, and he blinked cutely up at his new owner.
"Oh!" Lu Han jumped to his feet. "Of course. Let's get you all set up." He lifted up the cage and placed it on top of his desk, right where Zitao normally napped. Zitao followed him over to the desk, protesting, and he jumped on the chair before climbing on top of the table to peer into the cage.
Inside, Minseok was smirking at him, and stroking his whiskers with a tiny paw. "Looks like I'm here to stay." He paused when Lu Han returned with fresh water and seeds for his food bowl. "Thanks Lu Hannie," he squeaked.
"Lu Hannie?" Zitao screeched. "He's MY owner. You don't get to call him Lu Hannie!" He batted at the cage. "Get out!"
"Now, now, Taozi," Lu Han said admonishingly, picking him up and dumping him on the floor. Zitao's fur fluffed up in annoyance. "Be nice to Minseokkie." He started cooing to the hamster again, and it made Zitao want to be sick.
"I'll get you later, Minseokkie," he hissed before stalking out of the room, tail lashing wildly from side to side.
*
Zitao glared into the cage, where Minseok was happily munching on a carrot.
It was late, and Lu Han had already gone to bed, but while Zitao was also doing his best to sleep someone was being annoyingly loud.
"Could you eat a little more quietly?" Zitao hissed, his nose stuck in between the bars of Minseok's cage.
Minseok blinked at him with those big innocent eyes of his. "Sure," he agreed amicably, spitting out pieces of carrot from his cheek storage as he spoke. A small chunk hit Zitao's nose. "Whatever you say." And then he reached over for another chunk of carrot, and - keeping eye contact with Zitao - he slowly brought it to his mouth and bit down on it. Loudly.
"ARGGGH," Zitao screeched. He leapt off the desk, marching his way into the bedroom. Lu Han had left the door ajar for him, as per usual, and as soon as he entered he jumped straight onto Lu Han's bed, climbing on to his chest. And then he hit Lu Han's nose with his paw. "Lu Han! Lu Han! Lu Han Lu Han Lu Han!!"
Lu Han groaned, covering his nose with his hand. "What is it, Taozi? It's too early for breakfast."
Even though Zitao had told his owner a billion times that his name wasn't Taozi, normally he let it slide. But tonight he was incensed - both by the nickname and the stupid rodent out in the living room. "I DON'T WANT BREAKFAST, YOU IMBECILE," he hissed, his fur sticking straight up and eyes narrowed. "I want that - that - THING out!"
Lu Han groaned again, gripping Zitao under his shoulders. "It's night time. Sleep time." But Zitao was gratified when he pushed the covers aside and sat up.
"Yes Lulu!!" he crowed smugly. Lu Han loved him and he was going to get rid of that pest because he loved him so much.
He wasn't feeling quite so smug when Lu Han dumped him unceremoniously outside the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.
In his cage, Minseok crunched loudly on another carrot.
Zitao seethed.
*
Sehun licked his paw daintily, his ears flicking in disinterest. He had taken the prime spot in the sun, spoiled brat, and normally Zitao would have shoved him over and made him share, but today he was too agitated.
"I don't understand what the problem is," Sehun said, running his paw over his ear. "It's not like he's another cat." Sehun, a white Siamese, was the neighbour's cat and Zitao's best friend, but he wasn't particularly sympathetic at the best of times.
"That's the point!" Zitao cried. He could understand the appeal of adopting another cat - cats, after all, were the superior species and who wouldn't want more of them? "I just don't know what Lu Han sees in that mouse thing."
"I thought he was a hamster."
"Hamster. Mouse. Same thing. Stupid." Zitao paced up and down beside Sehun, growling to himself.
"Could you stop that? All your walking around is making me tired."
But how could Zitao be calm when that rodent had invaded his house? Taken over his owner's affections? Lu Han hadn't even said goodbye to him this morning! He'd given Minseok fresh water, cooed at him with that disgusting baby voice, and then run out the door. Zitao hissed at the memory.
Sehun thwacked Zitao in the face with his tail and then pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. "Naptime," he said firmly, biting down on Zitao's ear. "We'll worry about your rodent problem later."
*
Minseok wandered across the wooden floor unimpeded. This was wonderful, he thought. An entire house to himself.
Zitao was still outside - he'd seen him through the window, lying in the sun with another cat - and Lu Han had gone to work a couple of hours ago. Minseok could explore to his heart's content and not be disrupted by anyone or anything.
He waddled his way to the kitchen, coming across Zitao's food bowl. He gave the contents a deep sniff.
Oh. That smelt good. He'd heard Zitao grumbling this morning, telling Lu Han that he didn't like that brand, but Minseok didn't know why he was being so fussy. He reached in, grabbing one of the biscuits, before settling on his haunches and stuffing it into his cheek pouch.
Maybe he'd just take a few more - it's not like Zitao was eating them.
His little paws grabbed as many as he could, stuffing them firmly into his cheeks until they were so full they were about to explode. Task completed, he dusted off his paws but they weren't clean enough for his liking.
Fortunately there was a big bowl of water right by the cat biscuits. He dipped his paws in, wetting them, and ran them over his whiskers. The water was cool and refreshing and he tipped his head sideways, looking at it for a moment.
Lu Han had purchased Minseok a few wooden chew toys plus some woven willow balls. They'd gotten dusty in Minseok's cage but that bowl had lots of fresh, clean water… perfect for washing up.
It took Minseok a while to climb back to his cage and drag his toys across the floor, but soon he was happily dunking them into the water. He was so busy swishing them around that he didn't notice Zitao slinking his way through the cat flap.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Zitao screeched.
"Cleaning my toys," Minseok said, his voice a bit muffled from all the biscuits he'd stuffed in his cheeks. He splashed about for a bit. "What does it look like?"
"That's my water bowl," Zitao said menacingly, stalking his way over and glaring at him. "MINE."
He didn't scare Minseok. "Make me."
Zitao's eyes narrowed. "Oh I will." He opened his mouth, exposing his sharp teeth, but Minseok wasn't bothered. He'd show that cat who was the boss.
Even when Zitao let out his most scary growl, Minseok didn't react. He lifted a paw out of the water and flicked wet drops at Zitao's nose.
"Right. Fine. I warned you! I'm going to eat you!" Zitao lowered his mouth slowly over Minseok - it was wide enough to swallow the hamster whole. Minseok yawned as Zitao's teeth gingerly closed around him.
Encased in Zitao's mouth, Minseok got the impression that the cat wasn't sure what to do next. (He wasn't wrong. Zitao didn't eat furry things because the fur got caught in his throat and there were bones. Ew.) So he was held there for a moment, until Minseok decided he'd had enough.
Minseok bit down, right on Zitao's sensitive tongue, causing the cat to release Minseok with a yelp as he jumped into the air. Minseok fell safely to the floor and watched as Zitao pawed at his tongue, saying accusingly. "You bit me!"
Minseok shrugged. "You were going to eat me."
Zitao bared his teeth, ears lying flat on his head, giving Minseok his most threatening snarl. "I'll do worse than that to you!"
It was at that moment that Lu Han returned home.
*
Minseok was feeling a tiny bit guilty. Sure, he was a rodent, but he wasn't heartless.
Even from his cage he could hear Zitao in the laundry, shouting like the house was on fire, or besieged by demons, or something.
"Lu Han! Luhaaaaaaaaaaaan! Lulululu!!"
Earlier, when Lu Han had walked in on their altercation, he'd immediately grabbed Zitao by the scruff of the neck, giving him a long, loud scolding. Then he'd locked him in the laundry.
It wasn't all Zitao's fault, Minseok supposed. He had kind of provoked him. He'd stolen all his cat biscuits, used his water bowl as a washing up sink, and bitten his tongue.
"Poor Minseokkie," Lu Han cooed at him. Minseok was currently sitting in the palm of Lu Han's hand, as Lu Han cuddled him to his cheek. "Are you okay? Did that mean wean kitty cat hurt you?"
The baby tone Lu Han was using was starting to make Minseok feel a bit ill and he squirmed in Lu Han's grip. Unfortunately this just made Lu Han hold him tighter. "Poor baby wabie."
Minseok was really going to be sick.
There's a saying that you should be careful what you wish for, and Minseok was starting to learn the meaning of that phrase. With Zitao no longer Top Cat in Lu Han's affections, all of Lu Han's love was seemingly being transferred to Minseok.
And oh. The human had A LOT of love. Far more than Minseok could deal with. Lu Han was nice but he seemed exceptionally clingy and affectionate. How did Zitao put up with this?? This was the third time since Lu Han had arrived home that he'd pulled Minseok out of his cage to hold him and pet him and cuddle him. By now, Minseok just wanted to be left alone.
"Can I go back to my cage now?" Minseok asked Lu Han.
"Yes, you are the cutest!" Lu Han cooed at him. Minseok didn't know how much more of this he could take.
Later that evening, after Lu Han finally went to bed, leaving Zitao locked in the laundry, Minseok crept out of his cage and over to the laundry door. He was still feeling a tiny bit guilty about the cat.
"Hey - you okay in there?" he asked through the gap. After a moment he could see Zitao laying his head on the floor, peering at him.
"What do you care? You just want my owner to yourself," Zitao huffed.
"I don't!" Minseok told him. "That's not what I want."
"Yeah, well," Zitao said grumpily. "That's what you're getting. I heard him on the phone with Joonmyeon. He talked about giving me up!"
What? That would be a disaster! Minseok couldn't let Lu Han give Zitao away - Minseok couldn't handle being the sole pet in the household. He'd be SMOTHERED in attention.
"But I'm not going to let him," Zitao declared. "As soon as he lets me out of here - I'm running away! That'll show him to choose a hamster over me!" Minseok could hear Zitao grumbling through the door, his annoyance obvious.
"It'll be great!" Zitao was saying, mostly to himself, his voice going all pitchy with excitement as he forgot his grumpiness. "I'll be free - to live the way I want to live! No more of this domestic cat business. I'll be WILD - like my ancestors! I'll hunt and live on my wits - just like they did!"
Minseok heard Zitao get up and start pacing excitedly around the laundry. This situation was going from bad to worse. Zitao was a pampered housecat - there was no way he could survive out there by himself. Minseok had to fix this, before he inadvertently became the cause of Zitao running away to an almost certain death.
"What if there was another solution?" Minseok squeaked through the gap. "What if… we called a truce?"
There was a long pause, and then Zitao's eye reappeared underneath the door. "What are you talking about?"
"A truce. Then Lu Han wouldn't feel the need to give you up and you won't have to run away." Plus Zitao would be around to soak up Lu Han's affections. "Everyone's happy!"
Zitao's eye narrowed. "What's in it for you?"
"Nothing!"
"Hmmmm," Zitao said suspiciously. "I don't believe you - what's in it for you?"
"Well... Lu Hannie is a little over-attentive…" he confessed.
There was a long, long pause from the other side of the door and then a low chortle. Zitao's eye disappeared, and Minseok could just make out the cat rolling on to his back in amusement. "You need me. You NEED me!"
"Forget it then!" Minseok grumped. He could handle Lu Han on his own. Probably. He tried to ignore the peals of laughter coming from the other side.
Then it stopped and a claw slid through the gap. "Okay little mouse. We have a deal. Let's shake on it."
"I'm a hamster," Minseok replied crankily, but he took Zitao's claw in his paw, careful not to cut himself, and they shook on it.
"Hey," Zitao said after a while. "Can you let me out?"
"I'm a HAMSTER," Minseok said, exasperated. "I'm about as tall as the doorknob. How the hell am I meant to do that?"
"Hopeless," Zitao declared, before remembering that they had agreed to a truce. "I mean… thanks anyway." When Minseok peeked under the door again he found Zitao settled down to wait until the morning. After a while, he spoke again. "Tell me your story little hamster. How did you end up here?"
*
Zitao and Minseok talked for most of the night - their conversation only ending when Minseok heard Lu Han's alarm ring, his cue to scamper back into his cage. Zitao waited behind the door for his owner, and when Lu Han eventually opened it, he stalked out, head and tail held high, going straight for the couch.
Lu Han followed him, giving him a lecture, but Zitao ignored him, leaping onto the couch and making himself comfortable.
"You hear me, Taozi? You better be good to Minseokkie from now on. Don't make me regret leaving you two alone."
In response, Zitao lifted one of his back legs and started licking his balls. He could hear Lu Han falter in his lecturing - he always hated watching when Zitao cleaned there. Zitao made sure to really get in there, doing those nuzzling, sucking noises that he knew Lu Han hated, and soon Lu Han stomped off.
Zitao waited until the front door opened and closed, indicating that Lu Han had left for work, before he finished his ministrations. He could hear Minseok giggling from his cage on the desk.
"You're very flexible," Minseok commented. "You should've seen Lu Hannie's face. Even with my eyesight I could see how red he got."
Zitao prowled over, jumping up on the desk chair so he was at eye level with the hamster. "Lulu hates it," Zitao agrees. "Dunno why. He's probably just jealous because he's not flexible enough to lick his own balls. You should try it next time he's pestering you."
Minseok peered down his own body. "Think it'll work?"
"Positive," Zitao said, his ears turning forward. "No one knows what annoys Lulu more than me."
Zitao jumped down from the chair, intending to head out to find Sehun, but then he had a second thought. His head slowly rose back over the edge of the desk to look at Minseok. "I'm going outside. Do you… do you want to come?"
Minseok blinked at him. "Outside? What's so interesting about outside?"
Zitao leapt on to the desk so he could pace along the edge, his tail flicking quickly from side to side, sweeping everything in its path - paperwork, pens, even Lu Han's favourite mug - to the floor. "Oh, outside is great! It's the best! There's sunshine and grass and butterflies and sometimes Sehun and I dig up the flower beds! Lulu loves it when we keep him busy." A quizzical expression passed over Zitao's face, and he stilled, peering over his shoulder at Minseok. "Wait - you've been outside before, right?"
Minseok's cheeks bulged as he passed a carrot piece from one cheek pocket to the other. "Not exactly…"
Zitao's tail stilled and his eyes grew large. "Right! Out of the cage! Now!" He started clawing at the top where the door was located, almost knocking the entire cage off the desk.
Minseok squeaked at him. "What? Hey! Stop that - I'm coming!" Once Zitao stopped, Minseok climbed up his hamster wheel, swinging his way across to the top and unhooking the door. He pulled himself out, ruffling his fur. "Fine, I'm out. Now what?"
Zitao grinned so widely his sharp teeth were exposed. Then he ducked his head. "Now it's time to climb on. It's time for outside!"
*
Minseok clung onto one of Zitao's ears as the cat bounded his way across the living room, heading for the cat door. He hung on when Zitao nudged the door open with his nose, and Minseok flattened himself to Zitao's head when he ducked his way through.
The cat door lead to a large backyard: outside. The part nearest the house was paved, with terracotta coloured tiles, but beyond that there was a green lawn, bordered by a wooden fence. The edges of the lawn had garden beds planted with flowers, swaying gently in the breeze, and there was even a tall tree in the corner.
Minseok was awestruck. It smelt so different out here. In the pet store, it had always smelt somewhat clinical, with the underlying aroma of the different animals. Lu Han's house smelt mostly like human and cat. But out here… Minseok took a deep, deep breath.
It was clean and fresh - the nicest fragrance that Minseok had ever experienced in his life.
"See? Told you?" Zitao said smugly. "Wait until we get to the grass." He skipped over the paving, and then lowered his head so Minseok could climb down. Minseok marvelled when he was on the ground. The grass was soft under his feet and the greenest green he'd ever seen. He plucked a piece and gave it a nibble. Yup. Green. Fresh. Delicious.
Meanwhile, Zitao was rolling around, to and fro, on his back, rubbing his body all over the grass. Then suddenly he bounced to his feet, his attention captured by a butterfly, and he gave chase, prancing off after it.
Minseok plopped on to his butt, still chewing on the grass, enjoying the sunshine. Zitao had been right - outside was awesome. He was about to doze off when a shadow came over him, and Minseok looked up to find another cat peering down at him. This cat, like Zitao, was lithe and lean, but his fur was white except for his points - face, ears, legs and tail. He had bright blue eyes that looked down at Minseok quizzically.
"Mrrrrrrrowww," the cat said, pinning Minseok down easily with a paw. "What have we here? A little mouse?"
"I'm not a fucking mouse!" Minseok shouted, struggling hopelessly, but also really pissed off. He managed to sink his teeth into the soft pad of the cat's paw and the cat hissed, drawing it up and holding it to his chest with an offended expression.
It was at that moment that Zitao came bouncing back. "Sehun! I see you've met Minseok!" He gave Sehun a head butt in greeting before asking, "What happened to your paw?"
"Little mouse bit me," Sehun grumbled, giving it a good clean with his tongue before holding it out for Zitao to inspect. "Hope he doesn't have any diseases."
"I'm not a mouse and I don't have any diseases!" Minseok interrupted, exasperated. "And he deserved it."
"Zitao's the one who said you were a mouse," Sehun said petulantly. "Zitao said 'I don't know what Lu Han sees in that mouse thing'."
"Okay, I did, I did, but that was before we were friends," Zitao said apologetically to Minseok who had bristled at being called a mouse yet again.
"Friends?"
Zitao stilled, even his tail ceasing any movement, and his eyes big and bright. "Aren't we?"
"Oh." Minseok puffed out his cheeks in thought. Minseok had never had a proper friend before - he definitely wasn't friends with his brothers, and Jongdae back at the pet shop had been more like the Shop Overseer than an actual friend. "I guess we are?"
Sehun rolled his eyes at them both. "Well isn't this nice. But also boring. I'm going for a nap."
*
Zitao, Minseok, and Sehun spent the rest of the afternoon in the backyard. Sehun slept for most of it, curled up in the sun and only moving when it moved, while Zitao showed Minseok all his favourite spots.
His enthusiasm was cute, and Minseok humoured him, although he did have to draw the line at being hauled up the tree. He didn't need to see the view and feel the breeze from up there, thank you very much, no matter how amazing Zitao claimed it to be.
A few hours later the sun had travelled far enough across the sky that it no longer shone directly into the backyard, and Sehun finally woke, stretching, before padding over to the flowerbeds where Minseok and Zitao were located. "Hey!" he complained when he saw the result of their afternoon. "I thought we were going to dig those up together."
Lu Han had re-planted his flowerbeds the other weekend, and the two cats had been waiting for them to grow to a satisfying height before tackling them. They had learnt from experience that there was an optimal period to get the largest reaction.
Zitao gave Sehun a guilty look, a flower stalk hanging out of the side of his mouth. Minseok was sitting on top of his head, chewing on a dandelion that Zitao had found for him as the flowers in the garden bed were poisonous for hamsters, and he blinked at Sehun sleepily.
"Sorry… I wanted to show Minseok," Zitao told Sehun. "I saved one for you?" He nodded towards the sole surviving flower, standing pitifully in the wreckage of the rest. Then he noted the position of the sun in the sky and perked up. "Oh! Lulu will be home soon."
*
Lu Han apprehensively opened the door to his house, hoping that he wouldn't be greeted to a scene of carnage. Since yesterday, when he'd entered to find Taozi snarling at Minseok, he worried that he'd been too hasty in bringing home the hamster.
But when he entered, the house was neat and quiet. Too quiet, knowing his cat. Normally when he arrived home Taozi would be on him instantly, meowing at him loudly and weaving around his feet until Lu Han caved and petted him: scratching behind his ears or rubbing the soft fur on his belly. He loved the way Taozi would always greet him with excitement. Before he'd gotten the cat, he'd always hated having to come home to a cold, quiet house.
Lu Han tiptoed through his living room in case Taozi was having a nap, but after checking all of his pet's favourite nap spots, there was no cat to be seen. Lu Han frowned. Where was he? Taozi had been visibly annoyed at him this morning - probably angry that he'd been locked in the laundry overnight - and Lu Han was suddenly worried. His pet was proud and temperamental, but Lu Han had always loved that fiery streak in him. It made his moments of sweetness - which were, to be fair, quite common - all the sweeter. But despite his insolence, which stemmed more from a bratty mischievousness than anything more sinister, Taozi loved Lu Han and had never not greeted him when he came home before.
Passing by the desk, Lu Han peered into Minseok's cage. There was no hamster visible, so Lu Han supposed he was probably tucked away inside his house, sleeping.
At least, he hoped he was. Because where was his cat? Lu Han frowned, feeling guilty about how he'd acted yesterday. Okay, so Taozi did need to be taught that he couldn't bully the new addition to the family, but Lu Han should probably have been a bit more patient and not sprung it on him. He shouldn't have been so impulsive and should have thought about how it would affect Taozi. He knew that his pet was spoiled and pampered, but that was Lu Han's fault.
It's just that Lu Han had gotten overly excited when he saw the hamster. The only pet he'd been allowed to have when he was a child had been a hamster that looked a lot like Minseok. Seeing him had reminded Lu Han of how much he'd loved that animal. He just couldn't resist.
The missing cat mystery was solved when he looked out the window into the backyard and saw Taozi lying in the flowerbed with the neighbour's cat. He noted that they'd dug up his flowers yet again, but his anger was overridden by the relief he felt at seeing his prized pet.
Though there did seemed to be something odd on Taozi's head...
Lu Han made his way outside, opening the backdoor and calling out, "Taozi? Baby? I'm home."
At his call, Taozi looked up, letting out a loud greeting meow, his tail flicking excitedly, and it warmed Lu Han's heart to see his reaction. As he got closer, he realised that the odd thing on Taozi's head was… furry… and moving… and… Minseok??
*
"Lulu!" Zitao crowed when his owner came out the back door looking for him. "I dug up the flowers for you!" His tail was swishing excitedly at seeing his human. He was big and tall and dumb and didn't know Zitao's proper name, but Zitao loved him anyway. On top of him, Minseok squeaked his own greeting.
"Everything okay out here?" Lu Han asked, crouching down by Zitao's side and giving him a quick stroke before scooping up Minseok. Zitao took the opportunity to jump up, climbing Lu Han until he was perched on his shoulders, and he butted Lu Han's face with his head. Zitao had had such a good day that he'd forgotten all his earlier grievances against his owner. He was hungry now actually. He'd been so busy showing Minseok around the garden that he hadn't eaten all day.
He butted Lu Han in the face again. "Is it dinner time yet, Lulu? Did you buy me steak today? Steak? Rrrrrrowwwwwww. Lu Han, I'm hungry, feed me, Lulu! Minseok, have you had steak before? Steak's the greatest!"
"I don't eat meat," Minseok said in response.
"You're missing out!" Zitao told him, before batting Lu Han's nose sharply with a paw and meowing at him again, "DINNER!" He jumped off his shoulder to the ground and peered up at Minseok, still clutched in Lu Han's hand. "You coming? Lulu, put him down!" he demanded, stretching up to rest his front paws on Lu Han's thigh. He dug his claws in a little.
Lu Han, as per usual, had no idea what he was saying and Zitao grumped as he followed him inside, still holding Minseok. Some day he was going to have to teach that stupid human how to speak animal, he resolved.
Lu Han carefully placed Minseok back into his cage, before heading into the kitchen, and Zitao leaped on to the desk so he could talk to the hamster. "Was today good? It was good, right?"
Minseok paused in the midst of stuffing seeds into his cheeks. "Yeah. It was good," he mumbled. "Maybe we can go out again tomorrow?"
Zitao grinned his big cat grin, the one that exposed his fangs, and stuck his nose through the bars of Minseok's cage. Yeah. Perhaps they could go out again. Or he could show Minseok Lu Han's bedroom - Zitao loved messing up the bed covers, or getting into Lu Han's sock drawer, or destroying the ugly sweaters that Lu Han liked to wear. There was so much they could do!
It was kind of nice to have someone to do things with.
"Okay, tomorrow," he agreed.
*
Minseok shushed Zitao, who was pressed to the ground, snickering to himself.
"Stop laughing," Minseok scolded. "You're being too loud!"
"Sorry!" Zitao said. He stood, stretching up so Minseok could leap off his shoulder on to the bed, where Lu Han was snoring quietly.
"Wow," Minseok commented, whiskers twitching as they both watched Lu Han sleep. "Do all humans sleep like this? They really do look weird."
"Told you."
Minseok poked at Lu Han's cheek with his paw. "Should we wake him up?"
Zitao jumped up, landing gracefully next to the sleeping human. "Nah. Let's go raid the pantry. I heard him saying something about sunflower seeds last night. You like those, right?" He ducked his head and that was Minseok's cue to climb on, gripping Zitao's fur tightly in his paws so he wouldn't fall off.
"Are you ready?"
"Ready," Minseok confirmed, marvelling a little at his life. He never, not in a billion hamster years, would've guessed that he could be friends with a cat. And yet here he was, sitting on top of one like a king, about to cause havoc for their owner - and he couldn't be happier. "Let's go!"