i. can't. breathe.
when two options are placed in front of you, both of which you want, which one do you choose? both leading to two completely different lives. i can't say that i want to have either one of them... i'm scared. for once in my life, i am terrified about my future. i haven't ever really cared. what am i supposed to do? how am i supposed to chose between two very different paths? which one will be the best for me? which one will make me the happiest? how am i supposed to know when i am not even happy now? only a month ago i was planning to go to san diego... and now i have nothing. i have made too many life changing decisions in the past couple of months to make this one. i'm not ready for it. i can't take it. my HEART can't take it. why can't life be easy? god. then it would be boring and you wouldn't learn anything out of it. but i don't want to learn so much so fast. flip a coin... eenie meenie minie moe... rock, paper, scissors... i need help. and the best part is my best fried can't help me because she is very partial to one decision. i hate this. i hate - i don't know... i just, do.