purge
I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I didn't get so pissed off all the time. I wish I wouldnt cry for stupid reasons...at stupid times. I wish I was better. I wish that the things I do could be for myself. I wish I could talk about how I feel without worrying about words or phrases or the legitimacy behind them. A few years ago a highschool councilor told me that 'life is a river and not a mountain' or some kind of shit like that. Over time I've either thought of myself as getting better or getting worse but I guess that's all wrong. Maybe I'll never be "over" what happened over the summer. What's depressing is that I'm really the same person I was sophomore year. nothing really changes.
And I've been wondering lately why I keep this journal. I only want to write in it when I'm like this. I try to make the entries non specific and the feelings, believe it or not, less "emo" because I feel almost irritated at myself as I'm writing them. what purpose does this serve?
And I've been wondering lately why I keep this journal. I only want to write in it when I'm like this. I try to make the entries non specific and the feelings, believe it or not, less "emo" because I feel almost irritated at myself as I'm writing them. what purpose does this serve?