gag
I feel sick. I want it to go away but it wont. I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up and it would be gone. It's been going on for a few weeks now I thought it was cause of my period but I stil feel like shit and that stoped 3 days ago. Dame this weather change and it dosent help working in a factory. My eyes are also irrating me.
I am starting school Monday I was going to drop out but I think I am going to stay and see how I do with working ful time and school ful time. I'll probley drop but at least I can try. If school goes good for me I will ask to only work 3 or 4 days a week and then get out a student loan. If I put my mind to it then it the I can do it I just have to want to do it.
My aunt chryel died on the 15 I just went to her memoral on friday, Joel loves his cousin Hanna they were runing aroung in the crystial room playing he had so much fun. Joel hasn't seen his brother in like 2 months but I guess if Larry want me to bring him over then he would call me or tell Garret. I have been living the singal life sence garret moved out with just consists of me working and cleaning and playing with the best baby in the world. My cousin said she want to move in I don't think she will but I would like her to live with me she lives to far away now so I never get to see her any more I have to wait all week to see someone I am use to seeing 3 or 4 times a week. sigh . I don't know what she is going to do, we'll see I guess.
I have so many plans but I want to spend as much time with my baby as I can also. I want him to have a good live and not having to worry about money but I want him to know that family is more important then money and that I will be there for him all the time. I can't stand being away from him for more then a minute. I wish there was more hours in a day or I didn't have to sleep . Joel is the best thing that has happen to me he makes me and my family happy he even gave my aunt happieness while she was in pain I wish he could have know her better. I wish he could know his brother more too cause my sister is so important to me and I want him to be close with his dad's side of the family too. His dad dosen't even ask me to bring Joel over or says that he misses him. I am so glad that I am close with my baby he knows who I am. I could't stand it if he liked some one else more then me. I just don't want to work to much and not be able to see him. If I went to school and work this is what it would look like.
school m-w 6:30-9pm
work m-f 9:30pm-8am
Monday
Tuesday
Wensday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
7am
work
work
work
work
work
work
clean
8
get home
home
home
shower
home
shower
Joel
9
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
doctors
Joel
10
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
church
11
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
tanning
12pm
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
nap
1
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
party
nap
2
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
party
joel
3
shower
joel
sleep
sleep
sleep
study
clean
4
joel
clean
joel
Joel
study
study
garret
5
clean
shower
get ready
study
study
study
mow lawn
6
school
school
school
study
clean
Joel
study
7
school
school
school
Joel
Joel
Joel
joel
8
school
school
school
tanning
shower
shopping
study
9
school-work
s-work
s-work
work
work
garret
work
10
work
work
work
work
work
movie
work
11
work
work
work
work
work
sex
work
12am
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
1
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
2
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
3
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
4
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
5
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
6
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
repeat
so I really wouldn't have much of a life but I guess I don't really need one plus it looks like a lot on paper but I might be ready.
I am starting school Monday I was going to drop out but I think I am going to stay and see how I do with working ful time and school ful time. I'll probley drop but at least I can try. If school goes good for me I will ask to only work 3 or 4 days a week and then get out a student loan. If I put my mind to it then it the I can do it I just have to want to do it.
My aunt chryel died on the 15 I just went to her memoral on friday, Joel loves his cousin Hanna they were runing aroung in the crystial room playing he had so much fun. Joel hasn't seen his brother in like 2 months but I guess if Larry want me to bring him over then he would call me or tell Garret. I have been living the singal life sence garret moved out with just consists of me working and cleaning and playing with the best baby in the world. My cousin said she want to move in I don't think she will but I would like her to live with me she lives to far away now so I never get to see her any more I have to wait all week to see someone I am use to seeing 3 or 4 times a week. sigh . I don't know what she is going to do, we'll see I guess.
I have so many plans but I want to spend as much time with my baby as I can also. I want him to have a good live and not having to worry about money but I want him to know that family is more important then money and that I will be there for him all the time. I can't stand being away from him for more then a minute. I wish there was more hours in a day or I didn't have to sleep . Joel is the best thing that has happen to me he makes me and my family happy he even gave my aunt happieness while she was in pain I wish he could have know her better. I wish he could know his brother more too cause my sister is so important to me and I want him to be close with his dad's side of the family too. His dad dosen't even ask me to bring Joel over or says that he misses him. I am so glad that I am close with my baby he knows who I am. I could't stand it if he liked some one else more then me. I just don't want to work to much and not be able to see him. If I went to school and work this is what it would look like.
school m-w 6:30-9pm
work m-f 9:30pm-8am
Monday
Tuesday
Wensday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
7am
work
work
work
work
work
work
clean
8
get home
home
home
shower
home
shower
Joel
9
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
doctors
Joel
10
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
church
11
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
tanning
12pm
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
nap
1
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
party
nap
2
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
party
joel
3
shower
joel
sleep
sleep
sleep
study
clean
4
joel
clean
joel
Joel
study
study
garret
5
clean
shower
get ready
study
study
study
mow lawn
6
school
school
school
study
clean
Joel
study
7
school
school
school
Joel
Joel
Joel
joel
8
school
school
school
tanning
shower
shopping
study
9
school-work
s-work
s-work
work
work
garret
work
10
work
work
work
work
work
movie
work
11
work
work
work
work
work
sex
work
12am
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
1
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
2
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
3
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
4
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
5
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
6
work
work
work
work
work
sleep
work
repeat
so I really wouldn't have much of a life but I guess I don't really need one plus it looks like a lot on paper but I might be ready.