This isn't as bad as it looks...
I know it's downright cliche to start a blog and then instantly abandon it, but I swear, mydrea isn't abandoned, exactly.
What happened to the blog was Michael Jackson.
(no, no, not a tribute post! come back!)
My husband and I were talking about Michael Jackson's death a few days after it happened, and he pointed out something that was bothering him: People weren't taking the death seriously. Sure, Michael Jackson was a flamboyant entertainer and a deeply flawed human, both circumstances that made him difficult to take seriously for different reasons. But whether you were distanced by his public persona, or horrified by his sins, he was still a human being. I believe there were people who knew him personally who would have been genuinely sad to see him go. If nothing else, it's got to be rough for his kids, who now look like they're going to be raised by the same guy who raised Michael (contemplate that for a moment). But, reflexively, almost, we treated him as a punchline. Immediately. Humor blogs posted him as dying at age twelve, or gave his age range ending in 1985. Yeah, these were humorous ways of saying that he had been a difficult personality to deal with once he really went off the rails. But for all that he was real. And he died. He's gone. Do we not respect that anymore?
This started me thinking about other stories I'd heard, where people did truly horrific things over the internet to other people. I'm thinking of things in addition to your average Nigerian bank scam or phishing site. Things like taunting troubled people with the cruelest words imaginable until they do terrible things (often including taking their own lives). Some of the more despicable forms of trolling. As I look at these things, my diagnosis (yours may be different) is that the internet encourages us to think of other people as imaginary. I have encountered some truly beautiful, thought-provoking conversations in various corners of the internet, so please don't mistake me for one of those people who petulantly want to know what the internet is for. I know what it's for (I had better, considering my husband's a web designer!). It provides information and a sense of community that can span time and space. It redefines community while at the same time confirming our basic human needs are the same. It allows both truth and artifice to flourish to unprecedented degrees. It is a beautiful, dynamic place that has completely altered the way many of us interact with life. I know this.
That doesn't change the fact that there is a difference between a humorous, informative, intelligent, perfect conversation in blog comments or on a forum and that same conversation around a table in a pub. As one of those nerds with specialized interests for whom the internet seems to have been made, I have not wanted to admit that this was the case. Surely a cordial group of people on a forum is just as good as a cordial group of friends in real life? Especially since I would have never met this guy, he lives in Portugal, but he always just knows so much, and then this guy, I think he lives in Yorkshire, but he can always just take that information and add such insight, and then that always starts me thinking, and then so-and-so from Texas, she's in high school, but she always has great things to say and she found this one link... there's something magical about that, I know. But still, how real do any of those people feel? If you're a bit short with the girl from Texas in a comment, you don't see the look that crosses her face when she reads it. If you make a joke in poor taste, you can't see the expressions of distaste or hurt on people's faces, all you know is their outrage.
I sound technophobic when I try to explain this, and I'm really not. I am going to make an effort to keep up this blog, and I still have email and twitter and facebook and favorite websites that I like to visit regularly. But I decided that I need to be more engaged with the real world, and with tangible things. I have some craft projects I need to work on. I have dishes I need to do (always). Though it might not quite count as tangible, I need to write more. And, of course, I need to be around the "real" people around me, as well as my fascinating internet friends. That's why I've not been blogging. I haven't exactly broken up with the internet, but we're taking a break.
And now, I need to sign off so I can have a beer with some friends. (Seriously.)
What happened to the blog was Michael Jackson.
(no, no, not a tribute post! come back!)
My husband and I were talking about Michael Jackson's death a few days after it happened, and he pointed out something that was bothering him: People weren't taking the death seriously. Sure, Michael Jackson was a flamboyant entertainer and a deeply flawed human, both circumstances that made him difficult to take seriously for different reasons. But whether you were distanced by his public persona, or horrified by his sins, he was still a human being. I believe there were people who knew him personally who would have been genuinely sad to see him go. If nothing else, it's got to be rough for his kids, who now look like they're going to be raised by the same guy who raised Michael (contemplate that for a moment). But, reflexively, almost, we treated him as a punchline. Immediately. Humor blogs posted him as dying at age twelve, or gave his age range ending in 1985. Yeah, these were humorous ways of saying that he had been a difficult personality to deal with once he really went off the rails. But for all that he was real. And he died. He's gone. Do we not respect that anymore?
This started me thinking about other stories I'd heard, where people did truly horrific things over the internet to other people. I'm thinking of things in addition to your average Nigerian bank scam or phishing site. Things like taunting troubled people with the cruelest words imaginable until they do terrible things (often including taking their own lives). Some of the more despicable forms of trolling. As I look at these things, my diagnosis (yours may be different) is that the internet encourages us to think of other people as imaginary. I have encountered some truly beautiful, thought-provoking conversations in various corners of the internet, so please don't mistake me for one of those people who petulantly want to know what the internet is for. I know what it's for (I had better, considering my husband's a web designer!). It provides information and a sense of community that can span time and space. It redefines community while at the same time confirming our basic human needs are the same. It allows both truth and artifice to flourish to unprecedented degrees. It is a beautiful, dynamic place that has completely altered the way many of us interact with life. I know this.
That doesn't change the fact that there is a difference between a humorous, informative, intelligent, perfect conversation in blog comments or on a forum and that same conversation around a table in a pub. As one of those nerds with specialized interests for whom the internet seems to have been made, I have not wanted to admit that this was the case. Surely a cordial group of people on a forum is just as good as a cordial group of friends in real life? Especially since I would have never met this guy, he lives in Portugal, but he always just knows so much, and then this guy, I think he lives in Yorkshire, but he can always just take that information and add such insight, and then that always starts me thinking, and then so-and-so from Texas, she's in high school, but she always has great things to say and she found this one link... there's something magical about that, I know. But still, how real do any of those people feel? If you're a bit short with the girl from Texas in a comment, you don't see the look that crosses her face when she reads it. If you make a joke in poor taste, you can't see the expressions of distaste or hurt on people's faces, all you know is their outrage.
I sound technophobic when I try to explain this, and I'm really not. I am going to make an effort to keep up this blog, and I still have email and twitter and facebook and favorite websites that I like to visit regularly. But I decided that I need to be more engaged with the real world, and with tangible things. I have some craft projects I need to work on. I have dishes I need to do (always). Though it might not quite count as tangible, I need to write more. And, of course, I need to be around the "real" people around me, as well as my fascinating internet friends. That's why I've not been blogging. I haven't exactly broken up with the internet, but we're taking a break.
And now, I need to sign off so I can have a beer with some friends. (Seriously.)