Be a Mexican, not a MexiCANT!
I LOVE mi raza to the fullest and utmost extent there can be for our Mexican heritage.
Not only can we mouth off because we are, also, a minority as well but...
There's many things I love being a Mexican (whatever, hispanic. But most of us clarify ourselves as Mexican because for some odd reason we think it sounds better or add honor to our names, haha?...)...
(...And of course, I'm naming these from the top of my head.)
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I love how my heritage country:
.....Has the BEST tasting known to man! (And I swear, if you say that you've tasted something other than Mexican and you say that its better, I'm pretty sure you're the only one outta a (lets guesstimate) 1000 people that say that. So your minuscule opinion doesn't count, HAHA!)
...How my heritage and culture has so much pride and honor in its own country, much more its own country's soccer team! I don't think any other country could match our brimming (potential, POTENTIAL!) strength as a soccer team.
...Might possibly have 2 or 3 (maybe more?) of the world's attractive beaches. (I didn't say they were the best, just one of the many best outta the world. Don't take my words outta context bitches).
...Some pretty good tasting beer, and heavy import taxes to prove that. (My family experiences that first hand.) (Except for Carta Blanca, that shit tastes like a soggy, sobaco-smelling pussy thats been pickled in a jar for wAaaaay too fucking long!!!)
...Drinking age is at 18. Need I say more? (Wait till I get to the bad parts and you'll see....)
...The Hot Cheetos are definitely WAY more spicier than the one's in the U.S.
...My heritage country has a better and more efficient work ethic like a motherfucker (too bad about 90% of it doesn't go to its own country, but to the U.S., HAHA!!)
...The educational system might actually teach my heritage country's kids just a little bit better than the U.S........too bad my heritage country doesn't have money to pay for that better education though...(Whoops..)
...There's a (familyowned) corner store at every block! Fuck using my car, lets go buy some fucking RANCHERITOS and some motherfucking JOYA DE MANZANA!! (Not to mention, our sodas taste WAAaay better than the one's in the U.S.!)..
---------------------
...Aaannd....I'm just thinking of stupid things now...Lets talk about the things I DON'T like about my heritage country...
.....That it still looks just about the same ever since I was 3. (Just because it has new roads and shit when your crossing the border or an actually (somewhat) park in the middle does not impress me at all guys...)
...The sudden dread that maybe what I just ate from that taco stand just might have been made with rat meat, dog shit, cocaine, and dirt...(hey, tastes good doesn't it?)
...Sadly to say, if someone ever kills or hurts anyone you care about, they can just simply feel to my heritage country and can and will not be heard from ever again. Whoever you care about that just got hurt (or killed, ni lo mande Dios) will never be avenged for what horrific experience they went through.
...I'm not proud that my heritage country's capitol (Mexico, D.F. "Districto Federal", if ya don't know) is the #1 city IN THE WORLD for KIDNAPPINGS, MURDERS, AND ASSAULTS. How do I know its as bad as I say? Dude. They even fucking kidnapped a fucking SOCCER COACH because his team was fucking winning a championship!!! (The coach from Cruz Azul to be specific)
...Its sucks how I have to bite the bullet and actually get down on my knees and suck some actual DICK to get a good jobs, prolly even take it up the fucking ASS to get a good job with the fuckers at PEMEX. (A gasoline factory/company/whatever the fuck you wanna call it that is well known in Mexico.) And even IF I were to lose all my dignity to find a good job, its not even INSURED that I might get that job anyways!!! GachoooOooo...
...2 words: Boys. Town. And its even by my grandma's house. Didn't find that out recently, maybe about 2-3 years ago. No wonder there were all these skanks and prostitutes walking around my neighborhood whenever I would visit my grandma....
...I'm not proud that my country has been struggling with poverty since the dawn of f'ing time. I will cherish the day I DON'T see a baby walking outside the streets only wearing a diaper.
...I'm scared to even step foot into my heritage country because now there's actually SOLDIERS (Mexican term: Soldado's. A word you do not wanna hear if your in Mexico already.) in there! What? Mexico has to actually bring in SOLDIERS to f'ing bring their citizens at ease from the mafia and drug wars that everybody has to constantly struggle with every day?!? Even my grandma is thinking of getting the fuck outta there dude! If its even scaring my grandma (because she don't get scared for SHIT), then it MUST be fucking bad as fuck!!!
...Swine Flu. 'Nuff said.
...Did I already mention the mafia and drug wars already?...
...I don't like how the lemonade I ordered from a restaurant (Merenguetengue, or some shit like that. Its on El Calle del Taco, pretty sure you know it guys...) one time gave me the fucking cacawanga for a week. Pretty sure that lemonade was made with the water from el llave (water from the faucet).
...Why is there a stop sign AND a stop light on intersections in Mexico?? And everyone drives they have have a fucking death wish...(Wow, kinda reminds me of Cali! I guess we're not so different after all!!!...)
...As much as it'll get me outta tight spots, I can pay off los transitos (the police) whenever I get stopped or whatever. Imagine how far it may go? "Hey officer! Wha, the smell?? Nah, its just a HuuUuuge load of trash! Here's 1000 pesos, no harm no foul right officer?.." (Just in case you didn't understand, the "trash" was supposed to be a dead body) No one can deny how much bribing and trafficking Mexico goes through A DAY to keep it (somewhat) a stable country...
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Well, I'll tell you this guys...
As much as the good reasons are badass, the bad reasons still outweight the good ones by a pretty significant amount. Right, with the mafia and killing, I think anyone would cringe at that fact.
Don't get me wrong! I love my fuckin country, its where all my family was born (mostly) and I LOVE going to Mexico, whether to visit family or eat. But thats basically it. The only reasons you would go to Mexico is to:
1.) Visit family
2.) Eat.
3.) The beaches/vacation (Acapulco, etc...)
4.) Underage drinking (for shame! Cause I used to do it to!)
5.) (I think I would rather do my underage drinking in Progresso where I don't get shot, haha! Thats if I was even underage anymore, HAHA!)
6.) Uhhh...thats f'ing it dude!!...
The point of this bulletin is that I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND HERITAGE buuuuut, there are a couple of things I'm not proud of that would make anyone wanna cringe or frown at us.
In Austin, white people (girls, specifically) are always like "OOoooh you're a MEXICAN?!? I think Mexican's are soOoo exotic and freespirited!!"
...I always tell them, "Haha! I think you're thinking of Spain dude, haha!"
Plus, we have to know where we've been to know where we're going, riiight? So know what flaws we have as people in order prosper and flourish.
(If only Mexico had that mentality, huh? haha.)
So, before I receive the backlash of comments and rants from all of you saying that I'm a stupidass for saying shit about my country or its people, just remember:
I'm MEXICAN TOO DUMBASSES!!! YOU fucking assholes talk shit about your fucking mommas RAGITTY-ASS PUSSY AND HOW SHE'S GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE AND SHIT!!
Sorry, I didn't mean that, but yeah I did if you guys send me mean comments or messages.
Not only can we mouth off because we are, also, a minority as well but...
There's many things I love being a Mexican (whatever, hispanic. But most of us clarify ourselves as Mexican because for some odd reason we think it sounds better or add honor to our names, haha?...)...
(...And of course, I'm naming these from the top of my head.)
-----------------
I love how my heritage country:
.....Has the BEST tasting known to man! (And I swear, if you say that you've tasted something other than Mexican and you say that its better, I'm pretty sure you're the only one outta a (lets guesstimate) 1000 people that say that. So your minuscule opinion doesn't count, HAHA!)
...How my heritage and culture has so much pride and honor in its own country, much more its own country's soccer team! I don't think any other country could match our brimming (potential, POTENTIAL!) strength as a soccer team.
...Might possibly have 2 or 3 (maybe more?) of the world's attractive beaches. (I didn't say they were the best, just one of the many best outta the world. Don't take my words outta context bitches).
...Some pretty good tasting beer, and heavy import taxes to prove that. (My family experiences that first hand.) (Except for Carta Blanca, that shit tastes like a soggy, sobaco-smelling pussy thats been pickled in a jar for wAaaaay too fucking long!!!)
...Drinking age is at 18. Need I say more? (Wait till I get to the bad parts and you'll see....)
...The Hot Cheetos are definitely WAY more spicier than the one's in the U.S.
...My heritage country has a better and more efficient work ethic like a motherfucker (too bad about 90% of it doesn't go to its own country, but to the U.S., HAHA!!)
...The educational system might actually teach my heritage country's kids just a little bit better than the U.S........too bad my heritage country doesn't have money to pay for that better education though...(Whoops..)
...There's a (familyowned) corner store at every block! Fuck using my car, lets go buy some fucking RANCHERITOS and some motherfucking JOYA DE MANZANA!! (Not to mention, our sodas taste WAAaay better than the one's in the U.S.!)..
---------------------
...Aaannd....I'm just thinking of stupid things now...Lets talk about the things I DON'T like about my heritage country...
.....That it still looks just about the same ever since I was 3. (Just because it has new roads and shit when your crossing the border or an actually (somewhat) park in the middle does not impress me at all guys...)
...The sudden dread that maybe what I just ate from that taco stand just might have been made with rat meat, dog shit, cocaine, and dirt...(hey, tastes good doesn't it?)
...Sadly to say, if someone ever kills or hurts anyone you care about, they can just simply feel to my heritage country and can and will not be heard from ever again. Whoever you care about that just got hurt (or killed, ni lo mande Dios) will never be avenged for what horrific experience they went through.
...I'm not proud that my heritage country's capitol (Mexico, D.F. "Districto Federal", if ya don't know) is the #1 city IN THE WORLD for KIDNAPPINGS, MURDERS, AND ASSAULTS. How do I know its as bad as I say? Dude. They even fucking kidnapped a fucking SOCCER COACH because his team was fucking winning a championship!!! (The coach from Cruz Azul to be specific)
...Its sucks how I have to bite the bullet and actually get down on my knees and suck some actual DICK to get a good jobs, prolly even take it up the fucking ASS to get a good job with the fuckers at PEMEX. (A gasoline factory/company/whatever the fuck you wanna call it that is well known in Mexico.) And even IF I were to lose all my dignity to find a good job, its not even INSURED that I might get that job anyways!!! GachoooOooo...
...2 words: Boys. Town. And its even by my grandma's house. Didn't find that out recently, maybe about 2-3 years ago. No wonder there were all these skanks and prostitutes walking around my neighborhood whenever I would visit my grandma....
...I'm not proud that my country has been struggling with poverty since the dawn of f'ing time. I will cherish the day I DON'T see a baby walking outside the streets only wearing a diaper.
...I'm scared to even step foot into my heritage country because now there's actually SOLDIERS (Mexican term: Soldado's. A word you do not wanna hear if your in Mexico already.) in there! What? Mexico has to actually bring in SOLDIERS to f'ing bring their citizens at ease from the mafia and drug wars that everybody has to constantly struggle with every day?!? Even my grandma is thinking of getting the fuck outta there dude! If its even scaring my grandma (because she don't get scared for SHIT), then it MUST be fucking bad as fuck!!!
...Swine Flu. 'Nuff said.
...Did I already mention the mafia and drug wars already?...
...I don't like how the lemonade I ordered from a restaurant (Merenguetengue, or some shit like that. Its on El Calle del Taco, pretty sure you know it guys...) one time gave me the fucking cacawanga for a week. Pretty sure that lemonade was made with the water from el llave (water from the faucet).
...Why is there a stop sign AND a stop light on intersections in Mexico?? And everyone drives they have have a fucking death wish...(Wow, kinda reminds me of Cali! I guess we're not so different after all!!!...)
...As much as it'll get me outta tight spots, I can pay off los transitos (the police) whenever I get stopped or whatever. Imagine how far it may go? "Hey officer! Wha, the smell?? Nah, its just a HuuUuuge load of trash! Here's 1000 pesos, no harm no foul right officer?.." (Just in case you didn't understand, the "trash" was supposed to be a dead body) No one can deny how much bribing and trafficking Mexico goes through A DAY to keep it (somewhat) a stable country...
------------------------------
Well, I'll tell you this guys...
As much as the good reasons are badass, the bad reasons still outweight the good ones by a pretty significant amount. Right, with the mafia and killing, I think anyone would cringe at that fact.
Don't get me wrong! I love my fuckin country, its where all my family was born (mostly) and I LOVE going to Mexico, whether to visit family or eat. But thats basically it. The only reasons you would go to Mexico is to:
1.) Visit family
2.) Eat.
3.) The beaches/vacation (Acapulco, etc...)
4.) Underage drinking (for shame! Cause I used to do it to!)
5.) (I think I would rather do my underage drinking in Progresso where I don't get shot, haha! Thats if I was even underage anymore, HAHA!)
6.) Uhhh...thats f'ing it dude!!...
The point of this bulletin is that I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND HERITAGE buuuuut, there are a couple of things I'm not proud of that would make anyone wanna cringe or frown at us.
In Austin, white people (girls, specifically) are always like "OOoooh you're a MEXICAN?!? I think Mexican's are soOoo exotic and freespirited!!"
...I always tell them, "Haha! I think you're thinking of Spain dude, haha!"
Plus, we have to know where we've been to know where we're going, riiight? So know what flaws we have as people in order prosper and flourish.
(If only Mexico had that mentality, huh? haha.)
So, before I receive the backlash of comments and rants from all of you saying that I'm a stupidass for saying shit about my country or its people, just remember:
I'm MEXICAN TOO DUMBASSES!!! YOU fucking assholes talk shit about your fucking mommas RAGITTY-ASS PUSSY AND HOW SHE'S GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE AND SHIT!!
Sorry, I didn't mean that, but yeah I did if you guys send me mean comments or messages.