it ain't me... !
Hey ! *
Today I just felt the need of writting something, mainly because I'm tired and I pratically feel like the whole world felt on my shoulders! I think (and hope) this is just a 'bad day' because I really feel like doing nothing. I seriously need holidays and I'm tired of saying that. I can't believe that I have my last Biology test (ever in the whole life o.O) on friday and it's national (well, I still have the exam but test is only this one of Biology left) and I don't have much time to study for that. 'Why am I writing here instead of studying?' you may be wodering, well... as I don't know, I'm so sleepy and I can't foccus!
thinking that tomorrow I'm getting my Phisics and Chemistry national test back scares me as hell ! I know that I'll have a really low grade, but reality is so much harder to face and believe ! *
And why do I feel so... hum... empty? tired? mad? I may be a very 'non-stable' (?!) person, but I hate 'instability' ('?!), I hate to feel that some people care about me and the next day they don't or they don't care that much. I need to feel that I can count on people, and it's becoming so difficult for me to do that ! I don't like being the centre of attentions and I don't really like people who like it, because thugh I don't like being that, as I'm a bit insecure, sometimes I need that, I need to feel that my friends are with me, and I seriously don't know how to lead with people like that.
And today I realized it's been almost 4 months since I cut relations with my two ex-best-guy-friends, and at P.E. I was on the team of one of them (the other I actually don't care, I don't really give a damn for him), and I missed how we used to make fun of each other, and how he used to sing to me at classes (yeah he used to sing 'I just called to say I love you' and 'I know your eyes in the morning sunlight...' (Bee Gees)), and how he used to make fun of me in a nice way, and how he used to make me laugh even when I was feeling sad. I hate to admit it, but I can't feel anger about him, even knowing that he didn't believe me and said he wasn't my friend anymore. We've been best friends since ever,but literally, I know him since the day I was born I guess, and well, 16 years with someone is really something, it's my whole life and in 4 months I just had to forget about it! Another thing is that I got replaced and I hate that feeling, I hate it and it hurts me a lot, and what's worse is that he was the one that did the wrong thing, and people say that I should talk to him and say I'm sorry! WTF? I didn't do anything to him... he didn't trust me, that's all ! And if I don't feel confortable being around them, why should I be? >.>
I guess I wrote a lot more than I wanted, *
MarieAnne, *
p.s. I'm trying to convince my mum to let me go to Bob Dylan's concert :D
p.s.2. anyone has already watched his move 'I'm not there'?
Today I just felt the need of writting something, mainly because I'm tired and I pratically feel like the whole world felt on my shoulders! I think (and hope) this is just a 'bad day' because I really feel like doing nothing. I seriously need holidays and I'm tired of saying that. I can't believe that I have my last Biology test (ever in the whole life o.O) on friday and it's national (well, I still have the exam but test is only this one of Biology left) and I don't have much time to study for that. 'Why am I writing here instead of studying?' you may be wodering, well... as I don't know, I'm so sleepy and I can't foccus!
thinking that tomorrow I'm getting my Phisics and Chemistry national test back scares me as hell ! I know that I'll have a really low grade, but reality is so much harder to face and believe ! *
And why do I feel so... hum... empty? tired? mad? I may be a very 'non-stable' (?!) person, but I hate 'instability' ('?!), I hate to feel that some people care about me and the next day they don't or they don't care that much. I need to feel that I can count on people, and it's becoming so difficult for me to do that ! I don't like being the centre of attentions and I don't really like people who like it, because thugh I don't like being that, as I'm a bit insecure, sometimes I need that, I need to feel that my friends are with me, and I seriously don't know how to lead with people like that.
And today I realized it's been almost 4 months since I cut relations with my two ex-best-guy-friends, and at P.E. I was on the team of one of them (the other I actually don't care, I don't really give a damn for him), and I missed how we used to make fun of each other, and how he used to sing to me at classes (yeah he used to sing 'I just called to say I love you' and 'I know your eyes in the morning sunlight...' (Bee Gees)), and how he used to make fun of me in a nice way, and how he used to make me laugh even when I was feeling sad. I hate to admit it, but I can't feel anger about him, even knowing that he didn't believe me and said he wasn't my friend anymore. We've been best friends since ever,but literally, I know him since the day I was born I guess, and well, 16 years with someone is really something, it's my whole life and in 4 months I just had to forget about it! Another thing is that I got replaced and I hate that feeling, I hate it and it hurts me a lot, and what's worse is that he was the one that did the wrong thing, and people say that I should talk to him and say I'm sorry! WTF? I didn't do anything to him... he didn't trust me, that's all ! And if I don't feel confortable being around them, why should I be? >.>
I guess I wrote a lot more than I wanted, *
MarieAnne, *
p.s. I'm trying to convince my mum to let me go to Bob Dylan's concert :D
p.s.2. anyone has already watched his move 'I'm not there'?