You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams
After I slept for quite some time, dreams unhindered by my violent past for the first time since returning-- Angel insisted that we head back towards the center of the city. He insisted that we would both be safe within the confines of the Hyperion Hotel. I, of course had my doubts. As far as I was concerned neither one of us would ever be safe again when it came to Wolfram and Hart. They had the capabilities and resources beyond both of our imaginings. I could only shudder to think of the carnage the two of us may have created if we'd had half of Wolfram and Hart's resources back when we were known as nothing more than the scourge. But what other option did I have? I could either return to the city with Angel or...well, I didn't suppose he was really giving me an option. I'd be going back to the city with Angel whether I liked it or not.
I was largely silent on the trip back to the Hyperion and when we actually arrived just before dawn things hadn't changed much. It was just that I had nothing to say. I'd had nothing to say for awhile now, I supposed I was just desperately trying to find something. Anything. There were no more threats, no more seductions, no more thrall, there was just nothing left of Darla in here. I could see myself in the mirror, not that I cared to look, but when I did I could see the pale blonde hair, blue eyes, blunt teeth. I had never been a fan of the idea of existentialism but I supposed coming back from the dead to an almost literal hell makes one question one's philosophy.
Angel instructed me to rest as he went to see one of his friends in search of answers. I'd already rested all night while he kept watch over me as I slept. I'd rather he slept and I watched this time, after all it was daylight and seemed almost natural. He was as persistant as I knew I could be and so when he left I only walked out into the garden to enjoy the Jasmine. Night blooming. Just as I used to be. The fragrance was lovely, my fingertips straying gently over the fragile blossom...
"Darla,"
I jumped nearly out of my skin and quickly admonished myself for such a transparent reaction. Turning around quickly I set my gaze on Lindsey as his eyes swept me over as if he had no idea how it were possible that I was still alive. Was he ready to give up so easily? Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise to him that I chose Angel over him then.
"Lindsey," I echoed quietly, my eyes gazing past his face and into the entrance. It was true the two of us were standing in the sunlight but I almost feared what may happen to Lindsey because of me. Because of who I was and what I meant to a group of people who had never even met the real me. "What are you doing here?"
"I had to see you. To make sure you were okay." His eyes stayed focused on mine as I took a step closer to him. He had always fascinated me so. Maybe if things had been different....
"Okay." I echoed, my voice hollow as the sewers beneath our feet.
"Listen to me," His hand circled around my wrist as I took another step towards him. "Wolfram and Hart is going to find out your here. Hell, they may already know. I'm the only one who can keep you safe, Darla. I have...I have money and friends in some high and...low places. I can send you somewhere where they'll never find you." His voice was a low harsh whisper and I almost wanted to laugh in his face, instead I merely stood there and stared up at him.
"And where do you fit into all of this, Lindsey? The knight in shining armour? Come to sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere safe? Maybe we'll have a white picket fence and fat children. Somehow I don't think that's in your contract at Wolfram and Hart."
"This isn't for me, Darla. I'm doing this for you. I can send you away but I can't go with you." He said quietly, finally letting go of my wrist as he searched my face for some sort of answer.
"Of course not." I said quietly as I took a step away from him and back towards the entrance of the Hyperion.
"Darla. Wait." He wanted me to listen badly enough to beg but not badly enough to march into the hotel after me and face Angel. What true cowards all men were. Had always been.
I ignored his muted plea and began heading back underneath the shade of the overhanging roof. I was nearly to the door when I almost jumped at the sight of Angel standing in the shadows. Had he been listening?
I was largely silent on the trip back to the Hyperion and when we actually arrived just before dawn things hadn't changed much. It was just that I had nothing to say. I'd had nothing to say for awhile now, I supposed I was just desperately trying to find something. Anything. There were no more threats, no more seductions, no more thrall, there was just nothing left of Darla in here. I could see myself in the mirror, not that I cared to look, but when I did I could see the pale blonde hair, blue eyes, blunt teeth. I had never been a fan of the idea of existentialism but I supposed coming back from the dead to an almost literal hell makes one question one's philosophy.
Angel instructed me to rest as he went to see one of his friends in search of answers. I'd already rested all night while he kept watch over me as I slept. I'd rather he slept and I watched this time, after all it was daylight and seemed almost natural. He was as persistant as I knew I could be and so when he left I only walked out into the garden to enjoy the Jasmine. Night blooming. Just as I used to be. The fragrance was lovely, my fingertips straying gently over the fragile blossom...
"Darla,"
I jumped nearly out of my skin and quickly admonished myself for such a transparent reaction. Turning around quickly I set my gaze on Lindsey as his eyes swept me over as if he had no idea how it were possible that I was still alive. Was he ready to give up so easily? Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise to him that I chose Angel over him then.
"Lindsey," I echoed quietly, my eyes gazing past his face and into the entrance. It was true the two of us were standing in the sunlight but I almost feared what may happen to Lindsey because of me. Because of who I was and what I meant to a group of people who had never even met the real me. "What are you doing here?"
"I had to see you. To make sure you were okay." His eyes stayed focused on mine as I took a step closer to him. He had always fascinated me so. Maybe if things had been different....
"Okay." I echoed, my voice hollow as the sewers beneath our feet.
"Listen to me," His hand circled around my wrist as I took another step towards him. "Wolfram and Hart is going to find out your here. Hell, they may already know. I'm the only one who can keep you safe, Darla. I have...I have money and friends in some high and...low places. I can send you somewhere where they'll never find you." His voice was a low harsh whisper and I almost wanted to laugh in his face, instead I merely stood there and stared up at him.
"And where do you fit into all of this, Lindsey? The knight in shining armour? Come to sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere safe? Maybe we'll have a white picket fence and fat children. Somehow I don't think that's in your contract at Wolfram and Hart."
"This isn't for me, Darla. I'm doing this for you. I can send you away but I can't go with you." He said quietly, finally letting go of my wrist as he searched my face for some sort of answer.
"Of course not." I said quietly as I took a step away from him and back towards the entrance of the Hyperion.
"Darla. Wait." He wanted me to listen badly enough to beg but not badly enough to march into the hotel after me and face Angel. What true cowards all men were. Had always been.
I ignored his muted plea and began heading back underneath the shade of the overhanging roof. I was nearly to the door when I almost jumped at the sight of Angel standing in the shadows. Had he been listening?