i'm not accustomed to checking for wedding rings.
he asked me to dance. wait no, no... he asked me to polka, he said he would teach me, and he wouldn't let me say no. all i could think was "i haven't drank enough for this". turns out i'm terrible at polka-ing so we moved on to the jitterbug. he told me i was good at it even though i wasn't. we twirled around to bad country songs in the back of a dimly lit dive bar. no one else was dancing, but he had enough self confidence to hide my self consciousness. he would pull me in, push me out, spin me around and say "there ya go girl". when i was looking at his feet he'd make me look at his eyes. he dipped me down inches from the ground and said "don't worry, i gotcha".
damnit, he was charming.
he'd done this a million times. with a million different girls. this was clear. he told me he was a banker at city bank and then he told me he had a wife, held up his left hand and waited for my reaction. he didn't get what he was looking for. my reactions are always internal, unless the situation is common and the reation instinctual, but i don't often get hit on by married men and if i did, i think most of them would lie about the wife part. my head spun circles around itself as i evaluated and re-evaluated the situation.
i couldn't get past "what the fuck"
he asked me my age, i said twenty one and shot the question back.
"twenty two," he said.
i gave him a crooked look and he asked "what? how old do i look?"
i looked up like i was thinking. "ugh, twenty seven." i didn't think he was twenty seven. it was the way he asked the question. i knew i was suppose to guess older than he told me.
"ah girl, you aged me"
"huh?"
"i'm really twenty six."
"oh." the crooked look was still there.
"you still don't believe me, do you? do you want to see my id?"
"yeah, sure" i said.
he didn't expect this. he hesitated to get his wallet. asked if i was sure. i said yeah, let's see it so he handed me his id.
i handed it back and said "i'm good at math."
"huh?"
"i'm good at math. you're thirty two."
i left to have a cigarette and kindly thanked him for teaching me to dance.
damnit, he was charming.
i believed him when he said he was twenty two. he had a baby face. my crooked look was because i was thinking about his wife sitting at home waiting for him to come home. seeing her being me and me being her and her seeing me and her seeing him and her doing the same and the other girls and the other guys and the broken vows and the broken lives. i don't want to grow up to be her, i don't want to grow up to be here. i never asked to see his id i took it because he offered. driver license pictures are always entertaining. it wasn't until it was already in my hand that i realized he offered it so i could check his age.
he'll never know that he could have gotten away with being twenty two in my mind if he would have kept his mouth shut. he also could have gotten away with being single as i am not accustomed to checking for wedding rings on the hands of men who are hitting on me.
he asked me to dance again before i was finished with my cigarette. bryan was at the table with me.
"no, i'm good for now"
"come on, why not?"
i thought the reasons would be obvious. it wasn't worth discussing though. "because i'm smoking."
"put it out."
"no."
he hit the upper part of my leg when he walked by and told me to have a good night.
bryan was going to ask him if he could fuck his wife...he left a minute to soon though.
damnit, he was charming.
he'd done this a million times. with a million different girls. this was clear. he told me he was a banker at city bank and then he told me he had a wife, held up his left hand and waited for my reaction. he didn't get what he was looking for. my reactions are always internal, unless the situation is common and the reation instinctual, but i don't often get hit on by married men and if i did, i think most of them would lie about the wife part. my head spun circles around itself as i evaluated and re-evaluated the situation.
i couldn't get past "what the fuck"
he asked me my age, i said twenty one and shot the question back.
"twenty two," he said.
i gave him a crooked look and he asked "what? how old do i look?"
i looked up like i was thinking. "ugh, twenty seven." i didn't think he was twenty seven. it was the way he asked the question. i knew i was suppose to guess older than he told me.
"ah girl, you aged me"
"huh?"
"i'm really twenty six."
"oh." the crooked look was still there.
"you still don't believe me, do you? do you want to see my id?"
"yeah, sure" i said.
he didn't expect this. he hesitated to get his wallet. asked if i was sure. i said yeah, let's see it so he handed me his id.
i handed it back and said "i'm good at math."
"huh?"
"i'm good at math. you're thirty two."
i left to have a cigarette and kindly thanked him for teaching me to dance.
damnit, he was charming.
i believed him when he said he was twenty two. he had a baby face. my crooked look was because i was thinking about his wife sitting at home waiting for him to come home. seeing her being me and me being her and her seeing me and her seeing him and her doing the same and the other girls and the other guys and the broken vows and the broken lives. i don't want to grow up to be her, i don't want to grow up to be here. i never asked to see his id i took it because he offered. driver license pictures are always entertaining. it wasn't until it was already in my hand that i realized he offered it so i could check his age.
he'll never know that he could have gotten away with being twenty two in my mind if he would have kept his mouth shut. he also could have gotten away with being single as i am not accustomed to checking for wedding rings on the hands of men who are hitting on me.
he asked me to dance again before i was finished with my cigarette. bryan was at the table with me.
"no, i'm good for now"
"come on, why not?"
i thought the reasons would be obvious. it wasn't worth discussing though. "because i'm smoking."
"put it out."
"no."
he hit the upper part of my leg when he walked by and told me to have a good night.
bryan was going to ask him if he could fuck his wife...he left a minute to soon though.