Another day, another dolla
Well I am currently at work writing this, I'm pretty bored right now but I am looking forward to tonight. I am going to see a band called the Cro Mags tonight at this bar called O'Connels. The homie Bulldog from Pomona is rolling and a few of his homies from LA are going too. I think Jr and Johnny might even come down from East Los too. I haven't been to a show in forever! I'm not really into that whole scene anymore. I love the music still, always and forever, hardcore and punk rock are in my roots, but I got over going to shows a long time ago. So we'll see how it goes. I like that the show is at a bar as opposed to an all ages venue. It weeds out the youngsters who don't know shit about the band.
That's probably the highlight of my week so far. I dont really have any other plans and I didnt do much during the week. I watched American Idol on Wednesday and last night. I'm addicted! They sent home Pia... which is fine with me. Lol, that bitch is too perfect, she needed to go.
Speaking of bitches... I know I shouldn't let what my family says about me and Neil get to me, and I don't let them know it bothers me, but it seems like I'm losing people in my life because they dont like what me and Neil have. My prima Marisa put me on blast talking about how I only "go for guys that are unattainable as a defense mechanism". And she also said that I'm delusional, what me and Neil have is unhealthy, that I have no self esteem and I am self destructive and then she finished off by calling me a hoodrat. HAHA! I hate it when people try to sound smart by throwing in phrases like defense mechanism... obviously she's been reading up on Sigmund Freud a little too much and she thinks she can all the sudden psycho analyze people.
With Marisa, this pissed me off because she was talking shit on Neil, even though she doesn't know him, and I told her to shut the fuck up and I told her that its sad how my man is in prison and yet he manages to send me money to help me out but her husband sits around and doesn't do shit. He doesn't work or help her out for nothing, it's been like that for years. I told her to take a look at her own life before she passes judgment on someone else cause having a deadbeat husband isn't healthy either. She got sooooooo pissed! I thought she was gonna be like one of those cartoon characters and have steam coming out her ears hahaha. But that's what she gets. If you don't want anyone to say shit about your husband, don't talk about someone else's man. No one has a perfect relationship, and if you live in a glass house you shouldn't throw stones. I HATE self righteous people.
The second person that wants nothing to do with me anymore is Jeremy, which is cool. He thinks he's god's gift to women, which is very far from the truth. When I met him, I was 16 and very naive. I look at some of the old journal entries I have about him when I was with him and he was such a dick to me! He would tell me things like "Oh I want to be in a monogamous relationship with you..." and the fuckin bastard wouldn't call me for weeks. And now all the sudden, almost 9 years later he wants to act like he cares so deeply about me and whats good for me? I told him that we're cool... but we're not THAT cool. Meaning that we're friends, but we're not like super close. He told me "you're not the Janessa I used to know... I'm not sure who this Janessa is", and I told him he never knew me, he was too busy fucking my best friend behind my back. And then he said that I don't dress the same or look the same as I did back when he met me... OF COURSE NOT!!! I'm going to be 25!!! I shop at normal people stores as opposed to Hot Topic. I grew up. What the fuck does he want from me?
I'm not playing nice anymore. Emotionally, I'm happy. And if someone can't be happy for me that I'm in a good spot and I've found someone that I'm truly happy with, then fuck them. I don't need that person in my life. Plain and simple! I have not changed, I am still the same person, and the people who really know me, who I call my real friends know this. That's all that matters right?
That's probably the highlight of my week so far. I dont really have any other plans and I didnt do much during the week. I watched American Idol on Wednesday and last night. I'm addicted! They sent home Pia... which is fine with me. Lol, that bitch is too perfect, she needed to go.
Speaking of bitches... I know I shouldn't let what my family says about me and Neil get to me, and I don't let them know it bothers me, but it seems like I'm losing people in my life because they dont like what me and Neil have. My prima Marisa put me on blast talking about how I only "go for guys that are unattainable as a defense mechanism". And she also said that I'm delusional, what me and Neil have is unhealthy, that I have no self esteem and I am self destructive and then she finished off by calling me a hoodrat. HAHA! I hate it when people try to sound smart by throwing in phrases like defense mechanism... obviously she's been reading up on Sigmund Freud a little too much and she thinks she can all the sudden psycho analyze people.
With Marisa, this pissed me off because she was talking shit on Neil, even though she doesn't know him, and I told her to shut the fuck up and I told her that its sad how my man is in prison and yet he manages to send me money to help me out but her husband sits around and doesn't do shit. He doesn't work or help her out for nothing, it's been like that for years. I told her to take a look at her own life before she passes judgment on someone else cause having a deadbeat husband isn't healthy either. She got sooooooo pissed! I thought she was gonna be like one of those cartoon characters and have steam coming out her ears hahaha. But that's what she gets. If you don't want anyone to say shit about your husband, don't talk about someone else's man. No one has a perfect relationship, and if you live in a glass house you shouldn't throw stones. I HATE self righteous people.
The second person that wants nothing to do with me anymore is Jeremy, which is cool. He thinks he's god's gift to women, which is very far from the truth. When I met him, I was 16 and very naive. I look at some of the old journal entries I have about him when I was with him and he was such a dick to me! He would tell me things like "Oh I want to be in a monogamous relationship with you..." and the fuckin bastard wouldn't call me for weeks. And now all the sudden, almost 9 years later he wants to act like he cares so deeply about me and whats good for me? I told him that we're cool... but we're not THAT cool. Meaning that we're friends, but we're not like super close. He told me "you're not the Janessa I used to know... I'm not sure who this Janessa is", and I told him he never knew me, he was too busy fucking my best friend behind my back. And then he said that I don't dress the same or look the same as I did back when he met me... OF COURSE NOT!!! I'm going to be 25!!! I shop at normal people stores as opposed to Hot Topic. I grew up. What the fuck does he want from me?
I'm not playing nice anymore. Emotionally, I'm happy. And if someone can't be happy for me that I'm in a good spot and I've found someone that I'm truly happy with, then fuck them. I don't need that person in my life. Plain and simple! I have not changed, I am still the same person, and the people who really know me, who I call my real friends know this. That's all that matters right?