i was doing handstands on the bandstand

[vivian]

I feel dizzy and giddy, I swear.

I dropped a few hints to him today. Just little things: bits of stories nobody else has ever known, bits of secrets I probably shouldn't have told him. I could see him sitting and thinking -- how does she know this? What is she thinking? I don't think he's put it together yet, but I think he's close. We've been telling each other stories. I think he thinks he's making his up. I haven't been making mine up at all.

But it doesn't matter. Because -- all right, fine, I'll admit it to myself finally, since you guys seem to have figured it out last week -- I want him. I want to bury myself in him and never come back up for air. I feel like I'm walking on the clouds every minute we spend together. You're right -- it's like we're destined. Fated. Foretold. I've never met anyone I just clicked with this quickly, like we're supposed to be together.

I have this deep feeling in my chest, all fluttery, like something's about to break wide open. I'm not sure, but I think it might be "happiness".