switch hands to the hand that can feed
Dinner was glorious. We talked about -- oh, everything under the moon. Art and music and growing up and what it's like to feel like you're always on the outside and what we want to be when we get older and how we both always wanted something more out of our lives.
We wandered all over the city. I didn't feel like I was being hunted or followed, not once. I couldn't stop laughing. He's so funny, and so sweet, and I know this has such a potential for disaster but today was the first day I started to feel as though it could be all right.
I don't think it can last, though.
We went back to his hotel room later -- no, I'm not going to give you any juicy details, all right? We needed to change; we'd gotten drenched, and I couldn't exactly bring him back to my place -- and I saw his train ticket on his dresser. (He's a bit of a slob. It's almost cute.) The date on it is a few days from now.
So this is all just a tiny little interlude. When I realized that, I almost felt better -- it's weird. I mean, you guys have been sitting here (so patiently) and listening to me talking myself in circles for the past few weeks about what I should do and shouldn't do, especially about Aiden, and it turns out it's just going to be these few days and then it'll be over.
Maybe he was sent here to tell me that there's more than just what I know. Maybe I'm supposed to go with him. Maybe I'm supposed to just look at my life in a different way. I don't know; I'm not sure. But between him and you all, this journal, I'm really starting to realize that I have more options than I thought I had. I'm not as stuck here as I thought I was. I have choices.
I should be sad that he's going to leave soon, and -- somehow, I'm not. Because when he goes, I'll miss him, but -- he's opened my eyes to so much. I feel like I have the world at my feet.
We wandered all over the city. I didn't feel like I was being hunted or followed, not once. I couldn't stop laughing. He's so funny, and so sweet, and I know this has such a potential for disaster but today was the first day I started to feel as though it could be all right.
I don't think it can last, though.
We went back to his hotel room later -- no, I'm not going to give you any juicy details, all right? We needed to change; we'd gotten drenched, and I couldn't exactly bring him back to my place -- and I saw his train ticket on his dresser. (He's a bit of a slob. It's almost cute.) The date on it is a few days from now.
So this is all just a tiny little interlude. When I realized that, I almost felt better -- it's weird. I mean, you guys have been sitting here (so patiently) and listening to me talking myself in circles for the past few weeks about what I should do and shouldn't do, especially about Aiden, and it turns out it's just going to be these few days and then it'll be over.
Maybe he was sent here to tell me that there's more than just what I know. Maybe I'm supposed to go with him. Maybe I'm supposed to just look at my life in a different way. I don't know; I'm not sure. But between him and you all, this journal, I'm really starting to realize that I have more options than I thought I had. I'm not as stuck here as I thought I was. I have choices.
I should be sad that he's going to leave soon, and -- somehow, I'm not. Because when he goes, I'll miss him, but -- he's opened my eyes to so much. I feel like I have the world at my feet.