Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter the Downstairs Half Bathroom
Yesterday night, I went to the bathroom and found a friend waiting for me. An artist's rendering:
I calmly walked back to the living room, where Jason was watching Vh1's Stripsearch. I told him of our inevitable doom, and instead of getting rid of the plotting beast, he decides it'd be fun to find out what kind of spider it is. After deciding between a wolf spider and a nursery web spider (the latter), he finally sent it outside. Aaaaaaboo it.
In other news, my cousin, Matt, was in town for a fitness teaching convention at the Shopryland Hotel. We took him out to Hillsboro Village, but almost killed him on the way. My dad is a fucking horrendous driver. Have you ever been driving behind someone with a W sticker on the back of their car, and you're all, "What the fuck is this yokel doing?!?" That's my dad. No turn signals, no speed limits, no lane divisions. After dinner, though, we went to show Matt the Parthenon and stumbled upon...Nashville PRIDE. Oopsie! A dramatization:
Mom.........................................................Jack Black
Damon.......................................................Jack Sprat
Jason......................................................Jack London
Matt....................................................Jack the Ripper
Damon's Brain.................Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Scene: The Xanthopoulos family car.
Mom: What is this?
Damon: Is this the Italian festival? I know they have that at the Parthenon.
Mom: That's in the Fall.
Jason: Oh, this is where the Pride parade ends.
Matt: So, this is the Parthenon, huh?
Damon's Brain: AWK-WARD!!!
Jason makes out with Matt. Curtain.
Jesus. Families are tough, huh? But, hey, at the restaurant me and Jason split some fried Twinkies. Aaaaboo ya, our hearts!
In other news, this may sound cheesy, but two of the girls at work told me I was funny today. Which is nice, because recently, I feel like my social skills are falling apart, because I have no money to go out, or meet people or anything, and I spend most of my time holed up in the Xanthopoulos Undisclosed Location. Yawnaroo. So it's nice to see, in the words of Lionel Hutz, "I've still got it."
So here's a picture if anyone ain't seen my new hair yet. Let's keep in mind, though, to quote the photographer, Mijim, "well, you know, it was probably, like, three in the afternoon, and you look your best around midnight."
I think I'm thinking, "Snoozeroo!"
~Just Woke Up (?) Damon