[fic] Coffee, Dreams and Fairy Lights part 2
When Jongdae stirs awake again, all he sees in his peripheral view are the fairy lights dancing around in the soft breeze of the wind, entering the room through the open window, and white curtains are swaying along as shadows seem to dance over the walls. Jongdae blinks in confusion, trying to make out his whereabouts when he remembers going to Junmyeon’s coffee shop with Minseok, sitting on the same couch as Junmyeon, warmth, security and then nothing.
Did he fall asleep?
The faint sound of rain drops knocking against the window has Jongdae sit up, blink and rub his eyes, observing the mixing colors illuminating the room beautifully. Reality, Dream, Presence, Past, Future - sometimes Jongdae isn’t sure which he is living in, or if he is caught in between, unwilling to let go of what was and scared to reach out for what might be.
Changes scare him, intimidate him, pull him out of his comfort zone and sometimes make him feel too many emotions all at once. Jongdae knows that change is inevitable, has always known, the moment when his own mother had closed the door in his face, a seventeen year old boy, without money, and only a duffle bag of clothes and a sandwich clutched against his chest.
It had been raining that day as well, grey clouds and the distant roaring thunder had accompanied Jongdae’s tears when his worn out chucks dragged over the asphalt aimlessly for hours, as he sat down on a bench and pulled his legs up against his chest, arms wrapping securely around himself and his white duffle bag tightly to protect his only property from the merciless downpour. Drenched clothes, tear stained cheeks, bangs lifelessly falling in his face. An empty heart. That’s how Minseok found him that day, and Jongdae never once looked back ever since then.
Don’t trust easy, never show weakness nor exhaustion, and above all, don’t allow yourself to love, because love will only come with pain and disappointment, because how can the people who claimed to love him the most simply just easily cut him from their lives within one minute. Throw away their child; the one they promised to cherish and treasure forever?
Jongdae swallows, watching the fairy lights glisten and dance like fireflies during the dawn, his heart beating loudly inside his chest, he inhales and pauses, noticing the black zipper jacket that someone has placed over him. It smells like something, Jongdae has been missing for many year, something his heart keeps yearning for but Jongdae always denies it. It smells like home, security and love.
“Looks like you finally woke up,” Jongdae almost falls face first of the couch, he’s been too caught up in his own little world to have noticed Junmyeon entering the room, carrying a tray that holds two mugs and some sandwiches.
“I’m sorry that I fell asleep on you guys, “ a visible blush blazes across his cheeks, and Jongdae wonders if Junmyeon is the reason behind his dreams of the past or the glowing fairy lights, he used to have some of his own, back in his room at home.
“Minseok told me to let you rest some more, so he left without you, I should have woken you up if I’d known about the approaching thunder storm - it’s supposed to get pretty bad so,” Junmyeon stops, shifting from one leg onto the other, he almost looks shy, flustered maybe, and Jongdae’s heart flutters; if it had wings, it would probably fly out of the window.
“Basically, I’m stuck here with you?” light chest, loose tongue - Jongdae’s eyes twinkle mischievously and Junmyeon appears surprised but not indisposed.
“Yea, unless you want to wander the streets and turn into a drenched poodle, but I got sandwiches and hot chocolate to bribe you into keeping me company until the storm is over.”
The tray is placed down on the glass table, the scent of ham and cheese filling Jongdae’s nostrils, mouth watering, his hands eagerly lung for the meal, “Sold, you shall be rewarded with my royal presence for the evening.”
It’s nice to drop his guard in front of Junmyeon, to unlock his snarky comments and playful mocks, so why not try to take a step forward for once, why not at least give a future a try?
“Such kindness my lord,” Junmyeon smirks, fake bowing to a sniggering Jongdae as he grabs the leftover sandwich from the two, chewing contently, and observing Jongdae swallow every bite as if he hasn’t eaten for an entire week.
“This is so good! I thought you were only good at being a barista but no, you even have excellent sandwich skills!” Jongdae moans around his next bite, tongue darting out to lick some sauce of his slim fingers. Junmyeon’s eyes linger, but not for too long, can’t be noticed, can’t be caught yet.
Junmyeon leans in, thumb coming up to swipe a bread crumble off Jongdae’s bottom lip. Time stands still for a while, hearts drumming in synch, gazes lock, so many unspoken words. Past, Present, Future. Jongdae can see Junmyeon in all of them.
“I’m glad that you stumbled across my coffee shop the other day,” Junmyeon remains close, thumb brushing over Jongdae’s cheek, softly drawing circles over his smooth skin, “...after I left to Japan, I never forgot about you, you know, the tiny boy who’d always look after me from afar back in school, and yet I pretended to never notice.”
Jongdae sits in silence, waits for what Junmyeon has to say, if something as crazy and fictional as destiny exists then he is willing to let it take the wheel. Junmyeon’s hands are nice, gentle as they caress his face, as if he’s afraid that Jongdae would break like fragile bone china under his touch,
“Eight years is a long time, but I’m genuinely happy to have run into you again.” Junmyeon stops there and presses the mug of hot chocolate into Jongdae’s slightly trembling palms, “Drink up while it’s still hot,” he encourages and Jongdae does, taking the mug to his lips and allows the sweet taste and addiction to take him even higher.
“I’m glad as well you know,” Jongdae speaks up after a moment of silence, earning Junmyeon’s attention; whose eyes have been glued to the rain stained glass windows, “I never dared to hope to run into you again, but hope dies last I guess.”
“Have you always been such a hopeless romantic?” Junmyeon teases, but there is no bite in his words. Jongdae still pouts up at the other when he pinches his cheek,
“Why do you keep doing that? My face is my number one selling point!” he jests and Junmyeon laughs, shaking his head in disbelief, the atmosphere is giddy and Jongdae feels light headed, unable to distinguish between dream and reality.
They just spend the rest of the evening bickering around, rejoicing over nostalgic moments back in school, moody teachers, Minseok falling head over heels for their senior, and countless times in detention when the three of them had once again being caught skipping class and lazing around on the roof top instead.
“Wanna order some pizza for take out?” Junmyeon is leaning against the wall, phone already pressed against the ear while Jongdae is lounging on the couch, scrolling through his Instagram feed. Jongdae checks the time on his phone; it’s already ten in the evening and Junmyeon had only just returned from shutting up the store and sending the closing shift home. It still rains outside, the splattering sound is not unwelcome, but even though trains are running and Jongdae has the option to head back to his own apartment, he wants to stay.
“Pizza sounds fantastic, but I don’t want onions, so can we order extra cheese topping?”
It’s so easy to fall back into old habits, the more time Jongdae spends with Junmyeon, the more he remembers. Remembers the countless weekends they would spend over at Junmyeon’s house to study for exams or have a crazy sleepover and pokemon marathon that had Minseok blackmail them with for ages.
“Spoilt rotten, but whatever his majesty desires.” Junmyeon scoffs, placing their order, but not without underlining the statement of the importance of extra cheese topping, in such a bizarre voice that has Jongdae hold his tummy from laughing too hard.
It comes in handy that Junmyeon sometimes spends the night at the shop, so he keeps some extra sleep shirts in the room they are currently in. Jongdae is sighing gleefully when he wiggles into Junmyeon’s oversized white wool sweater that hides most of his hands, only the tips of his fingers are peeking outside. Junmyeon’s scent is all around him, leaving him a little breathless and thoughts whirring around his head aimlessly.
“Your old room back at your parents house used to have fairy lights as well, right?” Jongdae tilts his head aside, dwelling on if he recalled the imagery correctly or not, but Junmyeon nods in confirmation.
“Yea, I remember you being ridiculous upset about the ones hanging over my bed, telling me how fairy lights were trapped fireflies, unable to light up the dark night sky because I selfishly captured them to have them all to myself.” Junmyeon laughs, tapping Jongdae’s nose whose ears have turned fire red. He must have forgotten about that, like he’s forgotten and suppressed so many things from the past.
Junmyeon collects their empty mugs and sandwich plates, disappears next door into the store for a moment to put them into the dishwasher. Jongdae takes that as his chance to text Minseok, informing his friend that he’s having pizza for free and that he’ll probably be spending the night at the coffee shop due to the storm.
His phone buzzes only a second later with Minseok’s reply, “Sneaked some condoms into your bag, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, my child, “ the thought of Minseok buried under a pile of dirty socks and laundry doesn’t sound too bad to Jongdae right now, but then another text arrives, and Jongdae can’t help but smile, his inside filling with warmth, “P.S: It’s okay to allow yourself to be happy for once, stop running and stay.”
When Junmyeon finally returns, he carries a big brown box, which judging from the mouth watering smell is their late night snack they ordered previously. Jongdae immediately scoots over and makes room for Junmyeon, who has rid himself of his work outfit, and replaced it with grey sweats and a white shirt.
Jongdae squeals in delight when Junmyeon opens the lid and a masterpiece of pizza pops up in his sight of vision, “Look at this beauty, ready to be devoured by me, “ he coos at a extra cheesy piece, lifting it up to his mouth, then pauses and ignores his head, but listens to the racing beat of his heart as he closes the distance and pecks Junmyeon’s cheek, “just because you bought me food,” he clarifies rather unconvincingly, but if Junmyeon notices, he doesn’t show it, just grins widely into his own piece of pizza, because it is indeed delicious.
~*~
Five in the morning shouldn’t be an official time to start shifts, anything before ten in the morning should be deemed illegal, Jongdae notes as he buttons up his brown, washed out supermarket uniform and slips into his gloves to start sorting through their fruit and vegetable assortment.
Jongdae stifles a yawn behind the back of his hand, eyes tearing up from the lack of sleep, but he smiles nevertheless when he passes the coffee and tea section in their branch. Junmyeon and him had spent the night at the cafe last week, because the rain had slightly flooded the streets and even if trains were still running, both decided that the couch felt way too comfortable to go up against the relentless weather. Nothing in particular happened, just the two of them catching up, shy smiles, maybe some longing gazes; but Junmyeon had sent him off with a cup of hot chocolate and extra cream the next morning - and it caused these weird little butterflies to tumble around in his tummy.
As Jongdae scans the fruits for any that could have gone bad or spoiled over night, he wonders when he’ll be able to return to the cafe without appearing to be desperate for Junmyeon’s attention. Maybe, he can use Minseok’s unmissable thirst for Luhan as an excuse to tag along again this Friday. It’s childish, he knows, but Jongdae somehow turns into a meek lamb despite his booming confidence and usual sharp tongue.
By the time the supermarket opens at six, Jongdae is already done with most of the opening checklist and has moved on to refill their items. He is standing on top of the ladder, struggling with too many bags of cereal when a warm, all too familiar voice calls out for him,
“Your job is rather dangerous.”
Jongdae almost drops the armful of cereal boxes when he turns and spots a visibly concerned Junmyeon, holding onto the ladder to stabilize him. It’s only been a week since he last saw Junmyeon but his heart skips happily inside his chest.
Junmyeon is dressed in jeans and a white supreme shirt, but Jongdae finds himself appreciating the rather casual look more than he thought.
After he stores the boxes away safely on the top shelf, he carefully climbs back down - Junmyeon placing his hands on his hips to steady him, and Jongdae tries to sink further into himself, but Junmyeon’s eyes are gleeful,
“I didn’t know you worked here? Minseok told me to stop at this supermarket because they have lots of special offers and discounts this week, but I guess he simply tricked me into meeting you, huh?”
Jongdae swallows, his palms are sweating, and he has never felt as self-conscious and self-aware of his ugly, dirty looking work uniform than this very moment. Nervous hands meet in front of his body, fumbling with the hem of his shirt, teeth buried into his bottom lip and gaze cast down. The floor is grey, sticky and right out disgusting. The company should hire someone to clean it properly.
“You are up early, got too much free time?” Jongdae’s laugh cannot hide the light tremble, the humiliation that rushes over him like a wave of water, but he tries to cover it up with a faint, little curl of his lips. Jongdae never felt ashamed of his part time shop at the supermarket; it surely isn’t a pretty job, it’s physically exhausting, and many customers treat him worse than a dog, but it pays the bills and that’s all that matters. However, with his crush standing right in front of him, with his neat clothes, perfectly styled hair and peppermint fresh breath, Jongdae wants to curl up into a tiny ball and hide away from the world for a while.
“When do you get off?” Junmyeon has both of his hands shoved into his back pockets - eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he looks irresistible like that, Jongdae notes as he tries to force out something more than an incoherent gurgle that resembles a seal more than an actual human being.
“At around one or two, it depends on my boss’ mood,” it somehow feels surreal to talk to Junmyeon inside this shabby supermarket, surrounded by colorful breakfast cereal and tea variations.
Junmyeon nods to himself, hand slowly coming up to ruffle through Jongdae’s hair, apparently everyone’s newest hobby is to mess up Jongdae’s hair, he pouts up at the preparateur who erupts in a soft fit of laughter,
“Stop by the cafe afterwards, I’ll feed you and take care of you, it worries me when you look this tired.” Junmyeon’s thumb brushes over Jongdae’s sharp cheekbones, his gaze soft, and Jongdae can’t help but wonder why Junmyeon seems to worry about him. He’s considered an adult - he doesn’t need anyone to worry nor fuss about him, unless they were in a committed relationship.
Jongdae almost trips over thin air, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, “But no onions, I don’t like those, they give one bad breath and an upset stomach.” Jongdae doesn’t know why he said that, he wants to smash his head against the next best wall for being such an idiot in front of his crush.
“Noted, don’t work too hard, I’ll see you later.” Junmyeon grabs his basket that rested next to him on the floor and with a last wave, rounds the corner to finish his shopping trip.
Back in the cereal section, Jongdae tries to collect himself, slapping his own cheeks before he returns to stocking the shelves, a hint of a smile tugging at the end of his lips; at least he’s got something to look forward to after work, not only an empty apartment greeting him.
Minseok is probably spending time with Luhan again, the blond waiter has been a frequent guest at their apartment as of last week, marathoning “Breaking Bad” with Minseok or watching soccer games together - at least they are fair enough to not make out when Jongdae is there, even shown mercy and shared their bowl of popcorn with him when Jongdae actually joined them to watch a movie. If Minseok is a menace, then Luhan is the spawn of satan, Jongdae quickly discovers after growing closer to him, Luhan is by far not as shy and innocent as Jongdae had thought upon their first meeting. In fact, quite the opposite. And teamed up with Minseok, they are an absolutely chaotic duo who feed off of Jongdae’s misery, and who constantlt encourages him to ask Junmyeon out on a date.
“Poor Junmyeon is dropping all these hints and all you do is swoon over his latte arts and sandwiches on your stupid sns account.” Minseok had dramatically muttered from where he was lying, sprawled out over Luhan on the couch.
Jongdae had ignored it and promptly written another Instagram post about the new carrot cake and coffee combo at the coffee shop this month, gaining him around fifty new followers all at once. High school girls love sweet treats after all.
However, now that Jongdae is all by himself, restocking shelves and wiping the dust off of the top drawers, his mind wanders back to what Luhan had said to him the other night when they inhaled Minseok’s home cooking like they hadn’t eaten in month.
“You know, during all the years I worked under Junmyeon, he never really spoke about his past, but he did mention Jongdae a few times- the boy who he always cared a great deal for.” Luhan had raised his chopsticks meaningfully like he was impersonating a Confucius, holding a speech.
Thinking about it now, Jongdae thinks that maybe Junmyeon isn’t that unattainable as he’d always thought. Maybe if Jongdae would find the courage to pause in his step, to stop running and to settle down, then maybe a future with Junmyeon in it, does actually exist.
And maybe instead of being surrounded by stars and fairylights, Junmyeon would take him out to the evergreen meadows again to catch fireflies together, keeping them in a jar only for a brief greeting before releasing them again so that could resume in lighting up the dark night sky.
~*~
Against Jongdae’s better judgement, he doesn't make it to the coffee shop before three in the afternoon because his boss had been in a very bad mood today, asking Jongdae to stay longer and to clean up a part of their storage room.
With a growling stomach, sore feet and aching back, Jongdae finally arrives at the cafe, sleepily wandering up to the counter but keeping a safe distance when he notices a lady with an obnoxious excuse of a hat, screeching at Junmyeon like there is no tomorrow, while wildly flailing her arms over a mug of steaming coffee,
“I wanted this iced and with extra caramel drizzle, but without the whipping cream and a double shot, not only one, don’t take me for idiot, young man, I can tell if there is only one shot in my cup of coffee!”
Junmyeon remains as calm as the sea; but regarding the ladies obvious rude behavior, it takes all of Jongdae’s self control to not step in and give her a piece of his mind.
“I’m sorry about that ma’am, we will prepare another drink for you, please stand over there, our barista will serve you the right drink in just a minute.” Junmyeon’s sincere voice breaks free from his place behind the counter.
The lady snorts, a similar sound to that of the bull on Jongdae’s grandparent’s farm, back when their family used to visit them every weekend.
As soon as the unfriendly customer is out of earshot, Jongdae places both of his palms onto the counter and replaces the frown with a bright smile, “Is that her actual drink? Because it looks more like diabetes in a cup to be quite honest.”
The tension disappears from Junmyeon’s hunched shoulders, instead replaced by a soft tremble from laughing too hard, he leans forward, meeting Jongdae half way so that their foreheads are almost touching,
“I thought you had ditched me! But I’m glad you’re here now, I guess both of us had quite the day so far, huh?”
Both of them watch the lady strutt past them with her nose held high and her cup of iced caramel latte, with extra caramel drizzle and whipping cream tightly clutched against her chest, as if she is holding the crown jewel.
“Too bad customers like her are too dumb to realise that the statement “I will never frequent this store again because of you” is actually what I’ve been hoping for the moment she starting acting like a total bitch,” Baekhyun growls, eyes narrowed and shooting daggers at the ladies’ retreating figure, to which Junmyeon simply pets the barista’s shoulder and tells him to not pay her any mind.
Baekhyun resumes to mumbling curses under his breath, angrily fixing himself a coffee frappuccino and attacking a piece of strawberry cake with his fork - Jongdae swallows at the sheer massacre of slaughtering the cake.
“Sehun is starting his shift now, so let me grab the food I prepared for us, so we can have our well-earned lunch break together.”
Jongdae’s cheeks heat up and he nods happily, trying to ignore Baekhyun’s fond eye roll, and uses the time to check his Instagram feed - checking for nice spots in Seoul he could possibly show to Junmyeon some day.
His phone buzzes and he swipes the little LINE icon on his screen, revealing a message from none other than Minseok himself; “Remember: Be a rooster, not a chicken!” to which Jongdae snorts loudly, almost scaring off poor Sehun who promptly runs into the closed back door, making Baekhyun break out into a malicious cackle.
Junmyeon then emerges from the kitchen while balancing two plates with what looks like two caprese bagels and two cups of iced Americanos on a black tray, gesturing his head towards the door that leads to their secret hide out- Jongdae quickly follows after him.
Inside the room, Jongdae is almost disappointed to find the fairylights unlit, but then again it wouldn't have much effect in broad daylight currently.
Junmyeon sets down the tray onto the table before flopping onto the couch face first,
“This morning has been nothing but exhausting,” he mumbles, and Jongdae has to take a step closer to make out what Junmyeon is rambling on about, “but at least you are here now to cheer me up.”
“Excuse me? I came for the free food, sir.” Jongdae teases, sitting down next to Junmyeon and boldly placing his palms on Junmyeon’s shoulders, massaging them lightly.
Junmyeon hums in appreciation, pillowing his head on top of his arms under Jongdae’s skilled ministration.
“Rude, but if you give me a free massage every time I feed you then we have a deal.” he muses, looking up at Jongdae over his shoulder.
Jongdae puts more force into the heel of his palm, embracing Junmyeon’s low groans, and sighs contently when he hits an especially sore spot. The massage quickly comes to an end when both of their stomach loudly demand for food - they share a laughter before devoting their time to the fresh bagels.
About five minutes pass with them happily savouring their lunch before Junmyeon’s thoughtful gaze comes to rest on Jongdae who raises an eyebrow questioningly,
“Am I that beautiful that you can’t stop staring at me? I must look irresistible after my nine hour shift and three hours of sleep, my eye bags must be knocking you off your feet.” Jongdae deadpans, causing Junmyeon to choke on his Americano and cough violently.
“I-I what?”
It’s the first time that Jongdae managed to be the one causing Junmyeon to lose his balance, and he celebrates his little victory by pressing another soft peck to Junmyeon’s cheek. However, Junmyeon freezes, and Jongdae is already prepared to go down to his knees and beg for his forgiveness when Junmyeon grabs his neck and cautiously pecks his lips instead.
Junmyeon then pulls back, slowly, a conflicted expression covering his handsome face as his thumb comes up to trace Jongdae’s bottom lip, who remains rooted to where he is sitting on the couch.
“Jongdae, you can’t just do that, kiss my cheek I mean, without me getting the wrong idea.” Junmyeon doesn’t sound upset but more like he is fighting a battle against himself.
“I don’t just go around kissing people’s cheek, Junmyeon!” Jongdae is proud that he doesn’t turn into a goldfish this time and produced an actual sentence.
Be a rooster not a chicken!
“Does that mean you save your kisses for people who make you free food only?” there is mirth in Junmyeon’s eyes, causing Jongdae to gently punch against his broad chest, blowing out his cheeks much like a pufferfish.
“No? Because that would include Minseok which by all means is a gross thought.”
Junmyeon laughs at that but is quick to catch himself, grabbing Jongdae’s collar and pulling him closer, hot breath fanning over Jongdae’s face as he can count Junmyeon’s long lashes one by one,
“Good boy. I wouldn’t want you to share kisses with anyone that isn’t me.” Junmyeon’s deep voice sounds so possessive, yet still like a warm spring breeze that softly points Jongdae into the right direction.
But just when Jongdae’s eyes are about to flutter shut, Junmyeon puts more distance between them, pinching Jongdae’s nose mockingly.
“Such a pretty prince,” he says, straw disappearing between his pink lips, tongue coming out to catch a drop of iced Americano from falling off his bottom lip - Jongdae is so royally screwed.
“I actually intended to ask you if you’d like to work under me instead, Sehun is only here for the summer and I need another assistant manager to help me with the store - it might be as time consuming as your job at the supermarket, but I can offer you a better pay, free food, and a ridiculously good looking boss.” Junmyeon wiggles his eyebrows to underline his last statement, causing Jongdae to erupt in a fit of giggles, shaking his head in disbelief,
“I wouldn’t want to be a clutz; plus I am not sure if I’m qualified enough to be an assistant manager,” Jongdae brushes some bagel crumbs off his lap, toying with the hem of his shirt until he can feel the warmth of Junmyeon’s hand on top of his own.
“Be confident, I’ve known you since high school, Jongdae, I wouldn’t offer you this position if I wasn’t at least eighty percent sure you could pull it off.”
Jongdae drags out a long, sorrowful sigh, the way they converse seems like they have been seeing each other frequently and not been torn apart by eight long years and the distance of the ocean; however sitting and chatting together doesn’t feel any different from when they hung out after school or walked home together. Junmyeon is still the humble yet self-confident and handsome guy that Jongdae fell head over heals for.
But why is it that Junmyeon shows such interested in him after all these years? Jongdae shouldn’t think about it too much, but he can’t stop his vivid thoughts from running wild.
“You haven’t seen me in eight years, stop being so nice to me,” Jongdae’s eyes widen instantaneously as he clasps both of his hands over his mouth, shocked that he vocalized his thoughts that were supposed to stay inside his head only.
Junmyeon leans back against the armrest, arms crossed in front of his chest, gaze boring holes inside Jongdae’s chest,
“Why?” he inquires, and Jongdae finds himself nervously chewing on his bottom lip. Past, Present, Future - which way should he go? Left or right? Run or stay? Allow or deny?
Jongdae suddenly recalls all of Junmyeon’s soft touches, lingering gazes and unspoken words that he kept hiding behind that bright smile of his over the past weeks. As if Junmyeon had slowly, extended his hand to him, offering him some well-needed support; but Jongdae kept denying any possibility that Junmyeon could ever be interested in someone like him. It felt too surreal to believe.
“You just- why would you care a big deal about someone like me? It confuses me, causes these stupid butterflies to flutter around inside my stomach. Please, don’t mislead me, don’t give me hope when there is none,” the last words die out in a faint whisper, Jongdae’s gaze drops to the wooden floor.
The rooms is momentarily filled with a heavy silence, Jongdae can hear the blood rush through his veins and the loud, racing of his heart inside his chest - all color must have been drained out of his face by now.
Junmyeon sighs, hand coming up to brush some black strands of hair out of his face and pushes his sleeves up to reveal his broad forearms.
“My foolish prince, you haven’t changed one bit since high school. Well, except growing more beautiful,” he pauses and gently grasps Jongdae’s smaller hand in his own, “I didn’t mean to confuse you, I like you, Jongdae- I probably always have, but your mind always seemed to be somewhere else, impossible for me to catch and hold onto. ”
Jongdae remains silent, nails digging into his other palm. He feels stupid for being unable to notice that it had not only been him stealing glances at Junmyeon, but also the other way around - maybe he should have listened to Minseok, at least once.
“Look at me.” Junmyeon has shifted closer, placing two fingers under Jongdae’s chin and lifting his head up to gain direct eye contact between them. “Don’t be mad, but Minseok told me about your parents and what you’ve been through. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hold you that night.”
Jongdae bites back the burning sensation inside of his eyes, teeth buried deeply into his bottom lip, his small frame trembling. Junmyeon is right there, next to him, cradling him from side to side - like a protective shield.
“Don’t worry about it; you are here now you are back, you- ” Jongdae chokes back the tears, overwhelmed by too many emotions all at once.
Junmyeon’s dark brown eyes invite him into another world, a world where it’s ok to fall in love with someone from the same gender, where parents won't abandon their own children for their sexual preference, where passersby on the open street won't throw cuss words at two men or women holding hands freely. In a world where Jongdae allows himself to love again.
Jongdae is scared, terrified even, when Junmyeon leans in closer, one nose brushing against another when Jongdae notices a small scar right above Junmyeon’s left eyebrow, wondering where and why he got it- lips then pressed together.
The room smells like fresh lavender, but Junmyeon’s musky scent is even sweeter.
Jongdae’s eyes flutter shut. Junmyeon’s mouth is warm; he tastes like coffee and safety; so he throws an arm around Junmyeon’s neck to keep him closer, wondering if his heart has ever pounded this fast before. What if I’m a sloppy kisser? the thought suddenly crosses Jongdae’s mind, but is soon erased by Junmyeon’s tongue, greedily licking inside his mouth, hands cupping Jongdae’s face, their sweet kiss turning into so much more. Hunger, yearning, maybe even a pinch of desperation.
Jongdae’s back slowly collides with the soft material of the couch, their lips momentarily parting before Junmyeon is hovering over him again, a fond smile underlying his soft features.
“So beautiful.”
It’s just a whisper, lips now ghosting over Jongdae’s exposed neck; sharp teeth scraping over his sensitive skin, making Jongdae’s body arch and goosebumps shimmer over his skin.
Junmyeon takes a shaky inhale, chest heaving up and down, before molding their lips back together- softer this time, but not less demanding.
Jongdae’s cheeks redden to that of a cherry tomato when a soft moan escapes his lips, hands moving up to brush and grip at Junmyeon’s silky, black hair.
He doesn’t want to stop, not with Junmyeon smelling and tasting this good.
A tingle runs down his spine when Junmyeon’s wet tongue licks over his upper lip, luring Jongdae’s own out for a few open mouth kisses which leave Jongdae completely light-headed and giddy.
When they break apart the second time, they are both out of breath, panting with red kissed, swollen lips, caught in the moment of sheer bliss.
“That was nice,” Junmyeon mumbles from where he has flopped down next to Jongdae, his fingertips caressing the inside of Jongdae’s palm until he laces their fingers together. Jongdae’s heart is almost leaping outside his chest, but his lips curl up in a satisfied grin, shifting on his side to place a brief peck on Junmyeon’s rosy cheek.
“Yea, thanks for showing me a new way to escape from my thoughts for a while.” Jongdae pillows his head on Junmyeon’s strong arm, nose pressed against the vein on Junmyeon’s neck to inhale his scent deeply. Home, security, coffee, dreams- with a pinch of fairydust.
“Always at your service.”
Junmyeon ducks Jongdae’s punch just in time, guffawing at Jongdae’s scandalized expression; which leads to recklessly chasing each other through the room, throwing pillows and playful threats as if there is no one else in the world besides them.
A concerned Baekhyun even barges in to check on them, but promptly leaves again when he spots his boss, lying on top of Jongdae in a pile of white feathers- shamelessly making out with each other.
As they lie next to each other; Jongdae supports himself on his elbow, fingertips ghosting over the small scar over Junmyeon’s eyebrow,
“Where did you get this?”
Junmyeon catches Jongdae’s hand in his and places feathery kisses on every single knuckle,
“My dad wasn’t too fond of me ditching the company. He lost his temper that night, but luckily I didn’t get hurt badly. My mother was their to support me, and so was Luhan. Just a scratch, my love, don’t worry.” He underlines his statement with another quick peck to Jongdae’s slightly parted lips.
It’s hard to believe that under Junmyeon’s undying smiley face, lies a past hidden like this. Jongdae feels stupid for having hid himself in his little cave for so long; completely disregarding the reality that other people have been through an equally painful experience and overcome it.
“You haven’t answered my question yet,” Jongdae’s head snaps up and Junmyeon chuckles at his deer-caught-in-the-headlights look, “Will you work with me?”
Jongdae stills, flash-backs of all the early mornings at work, sticky floors, smelly feet and the rats at the supermarket and the decision isn’t really a hard one to make. He flashes Junmyeon a thumbs up to the other’s visible delight because he is being tackled into a bone-crushing hug the very next second.
If Junmyeon has moved on and walked away from the past, then so will Jongdae. It might not be an easy step to take, but with Junmyeon holding tightly onto his hand, guiding him into the right direction - it appears more than doable.
And so the day ends with Jongdae handing in his letter of resignation at the supermarket; quickly typed up on Junmyeon’s laptop.
Junmyeon had offered to accompany Jongdae on his way to his apartment, but Jongdae refused, well aware that as the manager, Junmyeon is needed back at the coffee store for the rest of the night.
The evenings have become quite chilly lately, resulting in Junmyeon insisting for Jongdae to use his scarf in order to not catch a cold, he even ran behind the counter to fix Jongdae a warm brew of tea to wrap his mitts around.
It might be to early to put a name on these feelings, but Jongdae is already on a good way to allow them to grow.
With a box of cake leftovers in one hand, raspberry tea in the other and Junmyeon’s red scarf securely wrapped around his neck, what started of as a total disaster of a day turned into a scene straight out of one of these cheesy love animes, Luhan will enjoy torturing Jongdae when Minseok is out grocery shopping.
Jongdae wraps the wool scarf tighter around his neck, giggling to himself as he skips up the last few steps; Junmyeon’s sweet scent still lingering on his lips from their goodbye kiss - he will get to annoy Luhan and Minseok with the news.
~*~
Epilogue
Soft rays of sunshine peek through the thin, white curtain, tickling Jongdae’s nose and pulling him out of his peaceful sleep. He blinks; a little bit disorientated as every morning, until he feels the warmth of another body pressed against his bare back, and a gentle, content smile forms on his lips.
Careful not to wake his boyfriend, Jongdae wriggles around in the tight embrace so that he is able to tuck his head snugly under Junmyeon’s chin, hands pressed against his firm chest. Jongdae applies butterfly kisses all over Junmyeon’s neck, inhales his boyfriend’s musky scent, and remembers that only a mere seven months ago, he would have never imagined that such moments of happiness could exist in his rather trist life.
Has it really been six months since he ran into Junmyeon again? Jongdae can’t quite believe that the time has passed so quickly; but then again, so many things have happened- for example Luhan moving in with Minseok. Thus resulted in Jongdae showing up on Junmyeon’s doorway, a box of Pralines in his hand, and a huge suitcase in tow.
Junmyeon had just laughed that day, pecked Jongdae’s lips sweetly, and caressed his cheek affectionately before showing him the now vacant room that Luhan had left behind. To this day, it is now referred to as: “The unexpected roommate switch.”
However, Jongdae couldn't - can’t complain, because spending time with Junmyeon is quality time. Junmyeon taught him everything he needs to know to be the assistant manager at his coffee shop, got quizzed on all beverages, dishes and coffee beans they sell, including the correct coffee lingo.
Jongdae enjoys his new part time job at the coffee shop; not only because Junmyeon uses his owner status any chance he gets, to Baekhyun’s utter misery, and drags Jongdae into their little hideout to kiss him breathless or to just hold him for a few minutes; but also for their regular guests who are luckily all fairly young college students with big dreams and ambitions similar to that of Jongdae.
Minseok and Luhan usually stop by every other day to “check on them”, how Minseok likes to label it, when in fact all he does is ask Junmyeon for free food and drinks since he sees himself as his rightful father in law - it makes Jongdae roll his eyes while Luhan just drifts off into a world of his own, gushing about something along the lines of “adopting” and “parents”.
Home and Family can refer to many things, circumstances and people - Jongdae has learned so much over the past few months. Home is a place where one can feel at ease, peace, rest one’s mind and be with the person one loves the most. Jongdae has found that place not in Junmyeon’s apartment but in his arms, his eyes, and his soft kisses before they fall asleep.
Jongdae has found a family - or maybe always had one in the form of Minseok checking up on him constantly via texts or calls; him nagging at Jongdae to study hard for his exams- but also being there for Jongdae to lean and cry on when he needed it the most.
Luhan and Minseok always baby Jongdae when he visits them back at the old apartment. Minseok would be busy cooking up a new delicacy, so Luhan would always be there to engage him into an easy going conversation about his job, studies and love life. They’d ruffle his hair and tease him, until the point Jongdae would whine in an obnoxious manner that effectively has Luhan run to the next convenience store and buy ice cream to shut him up.
Jongdae is only about two years younger than the other two, but the nights when Junmyeon is out of town to attend to business, they always invite him over, well aware that Jongdae dislikes being all by himself - he would never say it out loud, but the moments he spends sandwiched between Minseok and Luhan who wrap him into a blanket cocoon and stuff him with popcorn or other sweets - are happy times that Jongdae treasures a lot.
Jongdae’s Instagram account has attracted the attention of some magazines and freelance journalists who have offered Jongdae a few internship positions in the upcoming season, to Jongdae’s utter surprise - it was Junmyeon who encouraged him to give it a shot and see if it was a occupation he’d like to pursue after graduation next year.
It has indeed been an eventful second half of the year.
Next to him, Junmyeon stirs away at the broth, and Jongdae is quick to tighten his grip around Junmyeon’s torso, nosing up and down Junmyeon’s neck.
“Morning gorgeous,” Junmyeon’s voice always sounds low and raspy in the morning, running cold and hot shivers down Jongdae’s spine, “did you sleep well?”
Jongdae doesn’t answer the question, only looks up cutely, purses his lips and points his index finger to them for a clear invitation. Junmyeon chuckles lightly, hand coming up slowly and running over Jongdae’s bare back, goosebumps now spreading all over Jongdae’s body when Junmyeon’s finger gently grab his nape, guiding their lips together in a lazy play of tongues, pants and Jongdae’s small pleas for more.
“L-let me fix us some breakfast - we can spend all day in bed since we are both off.” Jongdae points out in between kisses but Junmyeon doesn’t seem convinced, rolling them around so that he is on top of Jongdae, smirking like a predator before he leans down to nibble on Jongdae’s sensitive earlobe. Jongdae’s breath catches in his throat, and turns his head aside to give Junmyeon more access to explore, “My breakfast is right here,” Junmyeon whispers against Jongdae’s delicate skin, mouthing along his sharp jawline before bringing their mouth back together in a heated kiss.
It’s magical how a simple touch from Junmyeon is able to set Jongdae’s whole body on fire, when they become and move as one, breaths and sweat mixing, soft, affectionate words whispered against each other’s skin. Love, happiness, safety - Junmyeon showers Jongdae with all of them.
“How about we start the day with a good morning workout,” Junmyeon’s lips brush over Jongdae’s who shudders in anticipation, “...before I take you out for lunch at the old green meadows close to the Everblue Lake later, so we can greet our little glowing friends together?”
Jongdae’s gaze softens as he cards his fingers through Junmyeon’s silky hair, charmed by his kind heart and eye for details, allowing his fingers to travel all the way to Junmyeon’s nape, playing with a few strands of hair just there. He supports himself on tips of elbows, enabling himself to press his lips to Junmyeon’s - just a brief touch.
“I’d like that but only if you pack my favorite sandwich - some cake also - and fix me one of your magical Cappuccinos that have me buzz with energy. It would be upsetting if you completely tire me out and I fall asleep before my friends, the fireflies come out to play with us,” he chuckles at their childish game which turns into a outright filthy moan when Junmyeon’s warm mouth closes around his nipple and teasingly scraps his teeth around it.
“That can be arranged - no onions I assume?” his voice is mocking, but Jongdae is unable to come up with a snarky comeback when Junmyeon’s skilled hand is stroking him over the thin material of his boxers.
He only manages to grit out a whiny, “Don’t you dare put that stinky vegetable anywhere near me,” before Junmyeon’s mouth covers his own.
Jongdae’s phone is ringing now, but they both decide to ignore it since it’s probably just Baekhyun coming up with another excuse why he is running late and why the store wasn’t open on the dot. It doesn’t matter, really, in Seoul there are many coffee shops that open as they please; and Baekhyun usually stays past his shift, so Junmyeon has long given up on scolding Baekhyun for being tardy to his morning shift. Especially not since their new full time employee Yixing has a habit of coming in early to have enough time to prepare everything, when in reality, he only comes in earlier to lust for cheerful Baekhyun from a safe distance. “A new day another couple soon to be born”, as Luhan would put it.
Jongdae inhales and exhales Junmyeon, relishing the warm sensation of his boyfriend’s bare form moving against his, one rhythm, one melody, and one mutual feeling. However, the world won’t change overnight. South Korea will not wake up one day and decide to legalize same gender marriage or openly show acceptance of gays; but Jongdae wants to believe that every step in the right direction will one day lead into a change for the better good.
He is no longer afraid to walk hand in hand with Junmyeon when they are out grocery shopping or visiting friends, and he ignores the glares and shady whispers and merely focuses on the young students, smiling and nodding at them encouragingly. There is always hope, one must just allow oneself to see it - just like there will always be sunshine awaiting us after the weeks of rain.
The only thing one has to do is keep on walking forward without giving up; not run and stay put when one has finally found a place or person to call home. No matter how different one defines oneself from the big crowd - in the end we all yearn for a home, and there is always one awaiting for every single one of us.
Jongdae knows that now, as he chants “I love yous,” again and again when Junmyeon presses their foreheads together, kisses him, and says it once again when they later sit next to each other on a blanket under a beautiful Willow, surrounded by fireflies - each a flask of hot, delicious Cappuccino in their palms.
Past, Presence, Future - Jongdae will no longer have to choose.
Because Junmyeon is in all of them.
Did he fall asleep?
The faint sound of rain drops knocking against the window has Jongdae sit up, blink and rub his eyes, observing the mixing colors illuminating the room beautifully. Reality, Dream, Presence, Past, Future - sometimes Jongdae isn’t sure which he is living in, or if he is caught in between, unwilling to let go of what was and scared to reach out for what might be.
Changes scare him, intimidate him, pull him out of his comfort zone and sometimes make him feel too many emotions all at once. Jongdae knows that change is inevitable, has always known, the moment when his own mother had closed the door in his face, a seventeen year old boy, without money, and only a duffle bag of clothes and a sandwich clutched against his chest.
It had been raining that day as well, grey clouds and the distant roaring thunder had accompanied Jongdae’s tears when his worn out chucks dragged over the asphalt aimlessly for hours, as he sat down on a bench and pulled his legs up against his chest, arms wrapping securely around himself and his white duffle bag tightly to protect his only property from the merciless downpour. Drenched clothes, tear stained cheeks, bangs lifelessly falling in his face. An empty heart. That’s how Minseok found him that day, and Jongdae never once looked back ever since then.
Don’t trust easy, never show weakness nor exhaustion, and above all, don’t allow yourself to love, because love will only come with pain and disappointment, because how can the people who claimed to love him the most simply just easily cut him from their lives within one minute. Throw away their child; the one they promised to cherish and treasure forever?
Jongdae swallows, watching the fairy lights glisten and dance like fireflies during the dawn, his heart beating loudly inside his chest, he inhales and pauses, noticing the black zipper jacket that someone has placed over him. It smells like something, Jongdae has been missing for many year, something his heart keeps yearning for but Jongdae always denies it. It smells like home, security and love.
“Looks like you finally woke up,” Jongdae almost falls face first of the couch, he’s been too caught up in his own little world to have noticed Junmyeon entering the room, carrying a tray that holds two mugs and some sandwiches.
“I’m sorry that I fell asleep on you guys, “ a visible blush blazes across his cheeks, and Jongdae wonders if Junmyeon is the reason behind his dreams of the past or the glowing fairy lights, he used to have some of his own, back in his room at home.
“Minseok told me to let you rest some more, so he left without you, I should have woken you up if I’d known about the approaching thunder storm - it’s supposed to get pretty bad so,” Junmyeon stops, shifting from one leg onto the other, he almost looks shy, flustered maybe, and Jongdae’s heart flutters; if it had wings, it would probably fly out of the window.
“Basically, I’m stuck here with you?” light chest, loose tongue - Jongdae’s eyes twinkle mischievously and Junmyeon appears surprised but not indisposed.
“Yea, unless you want to wander the streets and turn into a drenched poodle, but I got sandwiches and hot chocolate to bribe you into keeping me company until the storm is over.”
The tray is placed down on the glass table, the scent of ham and cheese filling Jongdae’s nostrils, mouth watering, his hands eagerly lung for the meal, “Sold, you shall be rewarded with my royal presence for the evening.”
It’s nice to drop his guard in front of Junmyeon, to unlock his snarky comments and playful mocks, so why not try to take a step forward for once, why not at least give a future a try?
“Such kindness my lord,” Junmyeon smirks, fake bowing to a sniggering Jongdae as he grabs the leftover sandwich from the two, chewing contently, and observing Jongdae swallow every bite as if he hasn’t eaten for an entire week.
“This is so good! I thought you were only good at being a barista but no, you even have excellent sandwich skills!” Jongdae moans around his next bite, tongue darting out to lick some sauce of his slim fingers. Junmyeon’s eyes linger, but not for too long, can’t be noticed, can’t be caught yet.
Junmyeon leans in, thumb coming up to swipe a bread crumble off Jongdae’s bottom lip. Time stands still for a while, hearts drumming in synch, gazes lock, so many unspoken words. Past, Present, Future. Jongdae can see Junmyeon in all of them.
“I’m glad that you stumbled across my coffee shop the other day,” Junmyeon remains close, thumb brushing over Jongdae’s cheek, softly drawing circles over his smooth skin, “...after I left to Japan, I never forgot about you, you know, the tiny boy who’d always look after me from afar back in school, and yet I pretended to never notice.”
Jongdae sits in silence, waits for what Junmyeon has to say, if something as crazy and fictional as destiny exists then he is willing to let it take the wheel. Junmyeon’s hands are nice, gentle as they caress his face, as if he’s afraid that Jongdae would break like fragile bone china under his touch,
“Eight years is a long time, but I’m genuinely happy to have run into you again.” Junmyeon stops there and presses the mug of hot chocolate into Jongdae’s slightly trembling palms, “Drink up while it’s still hot,” he encourages and Jongdae does, taking the mug to his lips and allows the sweet taste and addiction to take him even higher.
“I’m glad as well you know,” Jongdae speaks up after a moment of silence, earning Junmyeon’s attention; whose eyes have been glued to the rain stained glass windows, “I never dared to hope to run into you again, but hope dies last I guess.”
“Have you always been such a hopeless romantic?” Junmyeon teases, but there is no bite in his words. Jongdae still pouts up at the other when he pinches his cheek,
“Why do you keep doing that? My face is my number one selling point!” he jests and Junmyeon laughs, shaking his head in disbelief, the atmosphere is giddy and Jongdae feels light headed, unable to distinguish between dream and reality.
They just spend the rest of the evening bickering around, rejoicing over nostalgic moments back in school, moody teachers, Minseok falling head over heels for their senior, and countless times in detention when the three of them had once again being caught skipping class and lazing around on the roof top instead.
“Wanna order some pizza for take out?” Junmyeon is leaning against the wall, phone already pressed against the ear while Jongdae is lounging on the couch, scrolling through his Instagram feed. Jongdae checks the time on his phone; it’s already ten in the evening and Junmyeon had only just returned from shutting up the store and sending the closing shift home. It still rains outside, the splattering sound is not unwelcome, but even though trains are running and Jongdae has the option to head back to his own apartment, he wants to stay.
“Pizza sounds fantastic, but I don’t want onions, so can we order extra cheese topping?”
It’s so easy to fall back into old habits, the more time Jongdae spends with Junmyeon, the more he remembers. Remembers the countless weekends they would spend over at Junmyeon’s house to study for exams or have a crazy sleepover and pokemon marathon that had Minseok blackmail them with for ages.
“Spoilt rotten, but whatever his majesty desires.” Junmyeon scoffs, placing their order, but not without underlining the statement of the importance of extra cheese topping, in such a bizarre voice that has Jongdae hold his tummy from laughing too hard.
It comes in handy that Junmyeon sometimes spends the night at the shop, so he keeps some extra sleep shirts in the room they are currently in. Jongdae is sighing gleefully when he wiggles into Junmyeon’s oversized white wool sweater that hides most of his hands, only the tips of his fingers are peeking outside. Junmyeon’s scent is all around him, leaving him a little breathless and thoughts whirring around his head aimlessly.
“Your old room back at your parents house used to have fairy lights as well, right?” Jongdae tilts his head aside, dwelling on if he recalled the imagery correctly or not, but Junmyeon nods in confirmation.
“Yea, I remember you being ridiculous upset about the ones hanging over my bed, telling me how fairy lights were trapped fireflies, unable to light up the dark night sky because I selfishly captured them to have them all to myself.” Junmyeon laughs, tapping Jongdae’s nose whose ears have turned fire red. He must have forgotten about that, like he’s forgotten and suppressed so many things from the past.
Junmyeon collects their empty mugs and sandwich plates, disappears next door into the store for a moment to put them into the dishwasher. Jongdae takes that as his chance to text Minseok, informing his friend that he’s having pizza for free and that he’ll probably be spending the night at the coffee shop due to the storm.
His phone buzzes only a second later with Minseok’s reply, “Sneaked some condoms into your bag, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, my child, “ the thought of Minseok buried under a pile of dirty socks and laundry doesn’t sound too bad to Jongdae right now, but then another text arrives, and Jongdae can’t help but smile, his inside filling with warmth, “P.S: It’s okay to allow yourself to be happy for once, stop running and stay.”
When Junmyeon finally returns, he carries a big brown box, which judging from the mouth watering smell is their late night snack they ordered previously. Jongdae immediately scoots over and makes room for Junmyeon, who has rid himself of his work outfit, and replaced it with grey sweats and a white shirt.
Jongdae squeals in delight when Junmyeon opens the lid and a masterpiece of pizza pops up in his sight of vision, “Look at this beauty, ready to be devoured by me, “ he coos at a extra cheesy piece, lifting it up to his mouth, then pauses and ignores his head, but listens to the racing beat of his heart as he closes the distance and pecks Junmyeon’s cheek, “just because you bought me food,” he clarifies rather unconvincingly, but if Junmyeon notices, he doesn’t show it, just grins widely into his own piece of pizza, because it is indeed delicious.
~*~
Five in the morning shouldn’t be an official time to start shifts, anything before ten in the morning should be deemed illegal, Jongdae notes as he buttons up his brown, washed out supermarket uniform and slips into his gloves to start sorting through their fruit and vegetable assortment.
Jongdae stifles a yawn behind the back of his hand, eyes tearing up from the lack of sleep, but he smiles nevertheless when he passes the coffee and tea section in their branch. Junmyeon and him had spent the night at the cafe last week, because the rain had slightly flooded the streets and even if trains were still running, both decided that the couch felt way too comfortable to go up against the relentless weather. Nothing in particular happened, just the two of them catching up, shy smiles, maybe some longing gazes; but Junmyeon had sent him off with a cup of hot chocolate and extra cream the next morning - and it caused these weird little butterflies to tumble around in his tummy.
As Jongdae scans the fruits for any that could have gone bad or spoiled over night, he wonders when he’ll be able to return to the cafe without appearing to be desperate for Junmyeon’s attention. Maybe, he can use Minseok’s unmissable thirst for Luhan as an excuse to tag along again this Friday. It’s childish, he knows, but Jongdae somehow turns into a meek lamb despite his booming confidence and usual sharp tongue.
By the time the supermarket opens at six, Jongdae is already done with most of the opening checklist and has moved on to refill their items. He is standing on top of the ladder, struggling with too many bags of cereal when a warm, all too familiar voice calls out for him,
“Your job is rather dangerous.”
Jongdae almost drops the armful of cereal boxes when he turns and spots a visibly concerned Junmyeon, holding onto the ladder to stabilize him. It’s only been a week since he last saw Junmyeon but his heart skips happily inside his chest.
Junmyeon is dressed in jeans and a white supreme shirt, but Jongdae finds himself appreciating the rather casual look more than he thought.
After he stores the boxes away safely on the top shelf, he carefully climbs back down - Junmyeon placing his hands on his hips to steady him, and Jongdae tries to sink further into himself, but Junmyeon’s eyes are gleeful,
“I didn’t know you worked here? Minseok told me to stop at this supermarket because they have lots of special offers and discounts this week, but I guess he simply tricked me into meeting you, huh?”
Jongdae swallows, his palms are sweating, and he has never felt as self-conscious and self-aware of his ugly, dirty looking work uniform than this very moment. Nervous hands meet in front of his body, fumbling with the hem of his shirt, teeth buried into his bottom lip and gaze cast down. The floor is grey, sticky and right out disgusting. The company should hire someone to clean it properly.
“You are up early, got too much free time?” Jongdae’s laugh cannot hide the light tremble, the humiliation that rushes over him like a wave of water, but he tries to cover it up with a faint, little curl of his lips. Jongdae never felt ashamed of his part time shop at the supermarket; it surely isn’t a pretty job, it’s physically exhausting, and many customers treat him worse than a dog, but it pays the bills and that’s all that matters. However, with his crush standing right in front of him, with his neat clothes, perfectly styled hair and peppermint fresh breath, Jongdae wants to curl up into a tiny ball and hide away from the world for a while.
“When do you get off?” Junmyeon has both of his hands shoved into his back pockets - eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he looks irresistible like that, Jongdae notes as he tries to force out something more than an incoherent gurgle that resembles a seal more than an actual human being.
“At around one or two, it depends on my boss’ mood,” it somehow feels surreal to talk to Junmyeon inside this shabby supermarket, surrounded by colorful breakfast cereal and tea variations.
Junmyeon nods to himself, hand slowly coming up to ruffle through Jongdae’s hair, apparently everyone’s newest hobby is to mess up Jongdae’s hair, he pouts up at the preparateur who erupts in a soft fit of laughter,
“Stop by the cafe afterwards, I’ll feed you and take care of you, it worries me when you look this tired.” Junmyeon’s thumb brushes over Jongdae’s sharp cheekbones, his gaze soft, and Jongdae can’t help but wonder why Junmyeon seems to worry about him. He’s considered an adult - he doesn’t need anyone to worry nor fuss about him, unless they were in a committed relationship.
Jongdae almost trips over thin air, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, “But no onions, I don’t like those, they give one bad breath and an upset stomach.” Jongdae doesn’t know why he said that, he wants to smash his head against the next best wall for being such an idiot in front of his crush.
“Noted, don’t work too hard, I’ll see you later.” Junmyeon grabs his basket that rested next to him on the floor and with a last wave, rounds the corner to finish his shopping trip.
Back in the cereal section, Jongdae tries to collect himself, slapping his own cheeks before he returns to stocking the shelves, a hint of a smile tugging at the end of his lips; at least he’s got something to look forward to after work, not only an empty apartment greeting him.
Minseok is probably spending time with Luhan again, the blond waiter has been a frequent guest at their apartment as of last week, marathoning “Breaking Bad” with Minseok or watching soccer games together - at least they are fair enough to not make out when Jongdae is there, even shown mercy and shared their bowl of popcorn with him when Jongdae actually joined them to watch a movie. If Minseok is a menace, then Luhan is the spawn of satan, Jongdae quickly discovers after growing closer to him, Luhan is by far not as shy and innocent as Jongdae had thought upon their first meeting. In fact, quite the opposite. And teamed up with Minseok, they are an absolutely chaotic duo who feed off of Jongdae’s misery, and who constantlt encourages him to ask Junmyeon out on a date.
“Poor Junmyeon is dropping all these hints and all you do is swoon over his latte arts and sandwiches on your stupid sns account.” Minseok had dramatically muttered from where he was lying, sprawled out over Luhan on the couch.
Jongdae had ignored it and promptly written another Instagram post about the new carrot cake and coffee combo at the coffee shop this month, gaining him around fifty new followers all at once. High school girls love sweet treats after all.
However, now that Jongdae is all by himself, restocking shelves and wiping the dust off of the top drawers, his mind wanders back to what Luhan had said to him the other night when they inhaled Minseok’s home cooking like they hadn’t eaten in month.
“You know, during all the years I worked under Junmyeon, he never really spoke about his past, but he did mention Jongdae a few times- the boy who he always cared a great deal for.” Luhan had raised his chopsticks meaningfully like he was impersonating a Confucius, holding a speech.
Thinking about it now, Jongdae thinks that maybe Junmyeon isn’t that unattainable as he’d always thought. Maybe if Jongdae would find the courage to pause in his step, to stop running and to settle down, then maybe a future with Junmyeon in it, does actually exist.
And maybe instead of being surrounded by stars and fairylights, Junmyeon would take him out to the evergreen meadows again to catch fireflies together, keeping them in a jar only for a brief greeting before releasing them again so that could resume in lighting up the dark night sky.
~*~
Against Jongdae’s better judgement, he doesn't make it to the coffee shop before three in the afternoon because his boss had been in a very bad mood today, asking Jongdae to stay longer and to clean up a part of their storage room.
With a growling stomach, sore feet and aching back, Jongdae finally arrives at the cafe, sleepily wandering up to the counter but keeping a safe distance when he notices a lady with an obnoxious excuse of a hat, screeching at Junmyeon like there is no tomorrow, while wildly flailing her arms over a mug of steaming coffee,
“I wanted this iced and with extra caramel drizzle, but without the whipping cream and a double shot, not only one, don’t take me for idiot, young man, I can tell if there is only one shot in my cup of coffee!”
Junmyeon remains as calm as the sea; but regarding the ladies obvious rude behavior, it takes all of Jongdae’s self control to not step in and give her a piece of his mind.
“I’m sorry about that ma’am, we will prepare another drink for you, please stand over there, our barista will serve you the right drink in just a minute.” Junmyeon’s sincere voice breaks free from his place behind the counter.
The lady snorts, a similar sound to that of the bull on Jongdae’s grandparent’s farm, back when their family used to visit them every weekend.
As soon as the unfriendly customer is out of earshot, Jongdae places both of his palms onto the counter and replaces the frown with a bright smile, “Is that her actual drink? Because it looks more like diabetes in a cup to be quite honest.”
The tension disappears from Junmyeon’s hunched shoulders, instead replaced by a soft tremble from laughing too hard, he leans forward, meeting Jongdae half way so that their foreheads are almost touching,
“I thought you had ditched me! But I’m glad you’re here now, I guess both of us had quite the day so far, huh?”
Both of them watch the lady strutt past them with her nose held high and her cup of iced caramel latte, with extra caramel drizzle and whipping cream tightly clutched against her chest, as if she is holding the crown jewel.
“Too bad customers like her are too dumb to realise that the statement “I will never frequent this store again because of you” is actually what I’ve been hoping for the moment she starting acting like a total bitch,” Baekhyun growls, eyes narrowed and shooting daggers at the ladies’ retreating figure, to which Junmyeon simply pets the barista’s shoulder and tells him to not pay her any mind.
Baekhyun resumes to mumbling curses under his breath, angrily fixing himself a coffee frappuccino and attacking a piece of strawberry cake with his fork - Jongdae swallows at the sheer massacre of slaughtering the cake.
“Sehun is starting his shift now, so let me grab the food I prepared for us, so we can have our well-earned lunch break together.”
Jongdae’s cheeks heat up and he nods happily, trying to ignore Baekhyun’s fond eye roll, and uses the time to check his Instagram feed - checking for nice spots in Seoul he could possibly show to Junmyeon some day.
His phone buzzes and he swipes the little LINE icon on his screen, revealing a message from none other than Minseok himself; “Remember: Be a rooster, not a chicken!” to which Jongdae snorts loudly, almost scaring off poor Sehun who promptly runs into the closed back door, making Baekhyun break out into a malicious cackle.
Junmyeon then emerges from the kitchen while balancing two plates with what looks like two caprese bagels and two cups of iced Americanos on a black tray, gesturing his head towards the door that leads to their secret hide out- Jongdae quickly follows after him.
Inside the room, Jongdae is almost disappointed to find the fairylights unlit, but then again it wouldn't have much effect in broad daylight currently.
Junmyeon sets down the tray onto the table before flopping onto the couch face first,
“This morning has been nothing but exhausting,” he mumbles, and Jongdae has to take a step closer to make out what Junmyeon is rambling on about, “but at least you are here now to cheer me up.”
“Excuse me? I came for the free food, sir.” Jongdae teases, sitting down next to Junmyeon and boldly placing his palms on Junmyeon’s shoulders, massaging them lightly.
Junmyeon hums in appreciation, pillowing his head on top of his arms under Jongdae’s skilled ministration.
“Rude, but if you give me a free massage every time I feed you then we have a deal.” he muses, looking up at Jongdae over his shoulder.
Jongdae puts more force into the heel of his palm, embracing Junmyeon’s low groans, and sighs contently when he hits an especially sore spot. The massage quickly comes to an end when both of their stomach loudly demand for food - they share a laughter before devoting their time to the fresh bagels.
About five minutes pass with them happily savouring their lunch before Junmyeon’s thoughtful gaze comes to rest on Jongdae who raises an eyebrow questioningly,
“Am I that beautiful that you can’t stop staring at me? I must look irresistible after my nine hour shift and three hours of sleep, my eye bags must be knocking you off your feet.” Jongdae deadpans, causing Junmyeon to choke on his Americano and cough violently.
“I-I what?”
It’s the first time that Jongdae managed to be the one causing Junmyeon to lose his balance, and he celebrates his little victory by pressing another soft peck to Junmyeon’s cheek. However, Junmyeon freezes, and Jongdae is already prepared to go down to his knees and beg for his forgiveness when Junmyeon grabs his neck and cautiously pecks his lips instead.
Junmyeon then pulls back, slowly, a conflicted expression covering his handsome face as his thumb comes up to trace Jongdae’s bottom lip, who remains rooted to where he is sitting on the couch.
“Jongdae, you can’t just do that, kiss my cheek I mean, without me getting the wrong idea.” Junmyeon doesn’t sound upset but more like he is fighting a battle against himself.
“I don’t just go around kissing people’s cheek, Junmyeon!” Jongdae is proud that he doesn’t turn into a goldfish this time and produced an actual sentence.
Be a rooster not a chicken!
“Does that mean you save your kisses for people who make you free food only?” there is mirth in Junmyeon’s eyes, causing Jongdae to gently punch against his broad chest, blowing out his cheeks much like a pufferfish.
“No? Because that would include Minseok which by all means is a gross thought.”
Junmyeon laughs at that but is quick to catch himself, grabbing Jongdae’s collar and pulling him closer, hot breath fanning over Jongdae’s face as he can count Junmyeon’s long lashes one by one,
“Good boy. I wouldn’t want you to share kisses with anyone that isn’t me.” Junmyeon’s deep voice sounds so possessive, yet still like a warm spring breeze that softly points Jongdae into the right direction.
But just when Jongdae’s eyes are about to flutter shut, Junmyeon puts more distance between them, pinching Jongdae’s nose mockingly.
“Such a pretty prince,” he says, straw disappearing between his pink lips, tongue coming out to catch a drop of iced Americano from falling off his bottom lip - Jongdae is so royally screwed.
“I actually intended to ask you if you’d like to work under me instead, Sehun is only here for the summer and I need another assistant manager to help me with the store - it might be as time consuming as your job at the supermarket, but I can offer you a better pay, free food, and a ridiculously good looking boss.” Junmyeon wiggles his eyebrows to underline his last statement, causing Jongdae to erupt in a fit of giggles, shaking his head in disbelief,
“I wouldn’t want to be a clutz; plus I am not sure if I’m qualified enough to be an assistant manager,” Jongdae brushes some bagel crumbs off his lap, toying with the hem of his shirt until he can feel the warmth of Junmyeon’s hand on top of his own.
“Be confident, I’ve known you since high school, Jongdae, I wouldn’t offer you this position if I wasn’t at least eighty percent sure you could pull it off.”
Jongdae drags out a long, sorrowful sigh, the way they converse seems like they have been seeing each other frequently and not been torn apart by eight long years and the distance of the ocean; however sitting and chatting together doesn’t feel any different from when they hung out after school or walked home together. Junmyeon is still the humble yet self-confident and handsome guy that Jongdae fell head over heals for.
But why is it that Junmyeon shows such interested in him after all these years? Jongdae shouldn’t think about it too much, but he can’t stop his vivid thoughts from running wild.
“You haven’t seen me in eight years, stop being so nice to me,” Jongdae’s eyes widen instantaneously as he clasps both of his hands over his mouth, shocked that he vocalized his thoughts that were supposed to stay inside his head only.
Junmyeon leans back against the armrest, arms crossed in front of his chest, gaze boring holes inside Jongdae’s chest,
“Why?” he inquires, and Jongdae finds himself nervously chewing on his bottom lip. Past, Present, Future - which way should he go? Left or right? Run or stay? Allow or deny?
Jongdae suddenly recalls all of Junmyeon’s soft touches, lingering gazes and unspoken words that he kept hiding behind that bright smile of his over the past weeks. As if Junmyeon had slowly, extended his hand to him, offering him some well-needed support; but Jongdae kept denying any possibility that Junmyeon could ever be interested in someone like him. It felt too surreal to believe.
“You just- why would you care a big deal about someone like me? It confuses me, causes these stupid butterflies to flutter around inside my stomach. Please, don’t mislead me, don’t give me hope when there is none,” the last words die out in a faint whisper, Jongdae’s gaze drops to the wooden floor.
The rooms is momentarily filled with a heavy silence, Jongdae can hear the blood rush through his veins and the loud, racing of his heart inside his chest - all color must have been drained out of his face by now.
Junmyeon sighs, hand coming up to brush some black strands of hair out of his face and pushes his sleeves up to reveal his broad forearms.
“My foolish prince, you haven’t changed one bit since high school. Well, except growing more beautiful,” he pauses and gently grasps Jongdae’s smaller hand in his own, “I didn’t mean to confuse you, I like you, Jongdae- I probably always have, but your mind always seemed to be somewhere else, impossible for me to catch and hold onto. ”
Jongdae remains silent, nails digging into his other palm. He feels stupid for being unable to notice that it had not only been him stealing glances at Junmyeon, but also the other way around - maybe he should have listened to Minseok, at least once.
“Look at me.” Junmyeon has shifted closer, placing two fingers under Jongdae’s chin and lifting his head up to gain direct eye contact between them. “Don’t be mad, but Minseok told me about your parents and what you’ve been through. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hold you that night.”
Jongdae bites back the burning sensation inside of his eyes, teeth buried deeply into his bottom lip, his small frame trembling. Junmyeon is right there, next to him, cradling him from side to side - like a protective shield.
“Don’t worry about it; you are here now you are back, you- ” Jongdae chokes back the tears, overwhelmed by too many emotions all at once.
Junmyeon’s dark brown eyes invite him into another world, a world where it’s ok to fall in love with someone from the same gender, where parents won't abandon their own children for their sexual preference, where passersby on the open street won't throw cuss words at two men or women holding hands freely. In a world where Jongdae allows himself to love again.
Jongdae is scared, terrified even, when Junmyeon leans in closer, one nose brushing against another when Jongdae notices a small scar right above Junmyeon’s left eyebrow, wondering where and why he got it- lips then pressed together.
The room smells like fresh lavender, but Junmyeon’s musky scent is even sweeter.
Jongdae’s eyes flutter shut. Junmyeon’s mouth is warm; he tastes like coffee and safety; so he throws an arm around Junmyeon’s neck to keep him closer, wondering if his heart has ever pounded this fast before. What if I’m a sloppy kisser? the thought suddenly crosses Jongdae’s mind, but is soon erased by Junmyeon’s tongue, greedily licking inside his mouth, hands cupping Jongdae’s face, their sweet kiss turning into so much more. Hunger, yearning, maybe even a pinch of desperation.
Jongdae’s back slowly collides with the soft material of the couch, their lips momentarily parting before Junmyeon is hovering over him again, a fond smile underlying his soft features.
“So beautiful.”
It’s just a whisper, lips now ghosting over Jongdae’s exposed neck; sharp teeth scraping over his sensitive skin, making Jongdae’s body arch and goosebumps shimmer over his skin.
Junmyeon takes a shaky inhale, chest heaving up and down, before molding their lips back together- softer this time, but not less demanding.
Jongdae’s cheeks redden to that of a cherry tomato when a soft moan escapes his lips, hands moving up to brush and grip at Junmyeon’s silky, black hair.
He doesn’t want to stop, not with Junmyeon smelling and tasting this good.
A tingle runs down his spine when Junmyeon’s wet tongue licks over his upper lip, luring Jongdae’s own out for a few open mouth kisses which leave Jongdae completely light-headed and giddy.
When they break apart the second time, they are both out of breath, panting with red kissed, swollen lips, caught in the moment of sheer bliss.
“That was nice,” Junmyeon mumbles from where he has flopped down next to Jongdae, his fingertips caressing the inside of Jongdae’s palm until he laces their fingers together. Jongdae’s heart is almost leaping outside his chest, but his lips curl up in a satisfied grin, shifting on his side to place a brief peck on Junmyeon’s rosy cheek.
“Yea, thanks for showing me a new way to escape from my thoughts for a while.” Jongdae pillows his head on Junmyeon’s strong arm, nose pressed against the vein on Junmyeon’s neck to inhale his scent deeply. Home, security, coffee, dreams- with a pinch of fairydust.
“Always at your service.”
Junmyeon ducks Jongdae’s punch just in time, guffawing at Jongdae’s scandalized expression; which leads to recklessly chasing each other through the room, throwing pillows and playful threats as if there is no one else in the world besides them.
A concerned Baekhyun even barges in to check on them, but promptly leaves again when he spots his boss, lying on top of Jongdae in a pile of white feathers- shamelessly making out with each other.
As they lie next to each other; Jongdae supports himself on his elbow, fingertips ghosting over the small scar over Junmyeon’s eyebrow,
“Where did you get this?”
Junmyeon catches Jongdae’s hand in his and places feathery kisses on every single knuckle,
“My dad wasn’t too fond of me ditching the company. He lost his temper that night, but luckily I didn’t get hurt badly. My mother was their to support me, and so was Luhan. Just a scratch, my love, don’t worry.” He underlines his statement with another quick peck to Jongdae’s slightly parted lips.
It’s hard to believe that under Junmyeon’s undying smiley face, lies a past hidden like this. Jongdae feels stupid for having hid himself in his little cave for so long; completely disregarding the reality that other people have been through an equally painful experience and overcome it.
“You haven’t answered my question yet,” Jongdae’s head snaps up and Junmyeon chuckles at his deer-caught-in-the-headlights look, “Will you work with me?”
Jongdae stills, flash-backs of all the early mornings at work, sticky floors, smelly feet and the rats at the supermarket and the decision isn’t really a hard one to make. He flashes Junmyeon a thumbs up to the other’s visible delight because he is being tackled into a bone-crushing hug the very next second.
If Junmyeon has moved on and walked away from the past, then so will Jongdae. It might not be an easy step to take, but with Junmyeon holding tightly onto his hand, guiding him into the right direction - it appears more than doable.
And so the day ends with Jongdae handing in his letter of resignation at the supermarket; quickly typed up on Junmyeon’s laptop.
Junmyeon had offered to accompany Jongdae on his way to his apartment, but Jongdae refused, well aware that as the manager, Junmyeon is needed back at the coffee store for the rest of the night.
The evenings have become quite chilly lately, resulting in Junmyeon insisting for Jongdae to use his scarf in order to not catch a cold, he even ran behind the counter to fix Jongdae a warm brew of tea to wrap his mitts around.
It might be to early to put a name on these feelings, but Jongdae is already on a good way to allow them to grow.
With a box of cake leftovers in one hand, raspberry tea in the other and Junmyeon’s red scarf securely wrapped around his neck, what started of as a total disaster of a day turned into a scene straight out of one of these cheesy love animes, Luhan will enjoy torturing Jongdae when Minseok is out grocery shopping.
Jongdae wraps the wool scarf tighter around his neck, giggling to himself as he skips up the last few steps; Junmyeon’s sweet scent still lingering on his lips from their goodbye kiss - he will get to annoy Luhan and Minseok with the news.
~*~
Epilogue
Soft rays of sunshine peek through the thin, white curtain, tickling Jongdae’s nose and pulling him out of his peaceful sleep. He blinks; a little bit disorientated as every morning, until he feels the warmth of another body pressed against his bare back, and a gentle, content smile forms on his lips.
Careful not to wake his boyfriend, Jongdae wriggles around in the tight embrace so that he is able to tuck his head snugly under Junmyeon’s chin, hands pressed against his firm chest. Jongdae applies butterfly kisses all over Junmyeon’s neck, inhales his boyfriend’s musky scent, and remembers that only a mere seven months ago, he would have never imagined that such moments of happiness could exist in his rather trist life.
Has it really been six months since he ran into Junmyeon again? Jongdae can’t quite believe that the time has passed so quickly; but then again, so many things have happened- for example Luhan moving in with Minseok. Thus resulted in Jongdae showing up on Junmyeon’s doorway, a box of Pralines in his hand, and a huge suitcase in tow.
Junmyeon had just laughed that day, pecked Jongdae’s lips sweetly, and caressed his cheek affectionately before showing him the now vacant room that Luhan had left behind. To this day, it is now referred to as: “The unexpected roommate switch.”
However, Jongdae couldn't - can’t complain, because spending time with Junmyeon is quality time. Junmyeon taught him everything he needs to know to be the assistant manager at his coffee shop, got quizzed on all beverages, dishes and coffee beans they sell, including the correct coffee lingo.
Jongdae enjoys his new part time job at the coffee shop; not only because Junmyeon uses his owner status any chance he gets, to Baekhyun’s utter misery, and drags Jongdae into their little hideout to kiss him breathless or to just hold him for a few minutes; but also for their regular guests who are luckily all fairly young college students with big dreams and ambitions similar to that of Jongdae.
Minseok and Luhan usually stop by every other day to “check on them”, how Minseok likes to label it, when in fact all he does is ask Junmyeon for free food and drinks since he sees himself as his rightful father in law - it makes Jongdae roll his eyes while Luhan just drifts off into a world of his own, gushing about something along the lines of “adopting” and “parents”.
Home and Family can refer to many things, circumstances and people - Jongdae has learned so much over the past few months. Home is a place where one can feel at ease, peace, rest one’s mind and be with the person one loves the most. Jongdae has found that place not in Junmyeon’s apartment but in his arms, his eyes, and his soft kisses before they fall asleep.
Jongdae has found a family - or maybe always had one in the form of Minseok checking up on him constantly via texts or calls; him nagging at Jongdae to study hard for his exams- but also being there for Jongdae to lean and cry on when he needed it the most.
Luhan and Minseok always baby Jongdae when he visits them back at the old apartment. Minseok would be busy cooking up a new delicacy, so Luhan would always be there to engage him into an easy going conversation about his job, studies and love life. They’d ruffle his hair and tease him, until the point Jongdae would whine in an obnoxious manner that effectively has Luhan run to the next convenience store and buy ice cream to shut him up.
Jongdae is only about two years younger than the other two, but the nights when Junmyeon is out of town to attend to business, they always invite him over, well aware that Jongdae dislikes being all by himself - he would never say it out loud, but the moments he spends sandwiched between Minseok and Luhan who wrap him into a blanket cocoon and stuff him with popcorn or other sweets - are happy times that Jongdae treasures a lot.
Jongdae’s Instagram account has attracted the attention of some magazines and freelance journalists who have offered Jongdae a few internship positions in the upcoming season, to Jongdae’s utter surprise - it was Junmyeon who encouraged him to give it a shot and see if it was a occupation he’d like to pursue after graduation next year.
It has indeed been an eventful second half of the year.
Next to him, Junmyeon stirs away at the broth, and Jongdae is quick to tighten his grip around Junmyeon’s torso, nosing up and down Junmyeon’s neck.
“Morning gorgeous,” Junmyeon’s voice always sounds low and raspy in the morning, running cold and hot shivers down Jongdae’s spine, “did you sleep well?”
Jongdae doesn’t answer the question, only looks up cutely, purses his lips and points his index finger to them for a clear invitation. Junmyeon chuckles lightly, hand coming up slowly and running over Jongdae’s bare back, goosebumps now spreading all over Jongdae’s body when Junmyeon’s finger gently grab his nape, guiding their lips together in a lazy play of tongues, pants and Jongdae’s small pleas for more.
“L-let me fix us some breakfast - we can spend all day in bed since we are both off.” Jongdae points out in between kisses but Junmyeon doesn’t seem convinced, rolling them around so that he is on top of Jongdae, smirking like a predator before he leans down to nibble on Jongdae’s sensitive earlobe. Jongdae’s breath catches in his throat, and turns his head aside to give Junmyeon more access to explore, “My breakfast is right here,” Junmyeon whispers against Jongdae’s delicate skin, mouthing along his sharp jawline before bringing their mouth back together in a heated kiss.
It’s magical how a simple touch from Junmyeon is able to set Jongdae’s whole body on fire, when they become and move as one, breaths and sweat mixing, soft, affectionate words whispered against each other’s skin. Love, happiness, safety - Junmyeon showers Jongdae with all of them.
“How about we start the day with a good morning workout,” Junmyeon’s lips brush over Jongdae’s who shudders in anticipation, “...before I take you out for lunch at the old green meadows close to the Everblue Lake later, so we can greet our little glowing friends together?”
Jongdae’s gaze softens as he cards his fingers through Junmyeon’s silky hair, charmed by his kind heart and eye for details, allowing his fingers to travel all the way to Junmyeon’s nape, playing with a few strands of hair just there. He supports himself on tips of elbows, enabling himself to press his lips to Junmyeon’s - just a brief touch.
“I’d like that but only if you pack my favorite sandwich - some cake also - and fix me one of your magical Cappuccinos that have me buzz with energy. It would be upsetting if you completely tire me out and I fall asleep before my friends, the fireflies come out to play with us,” he chuckles at their childish game which turns into a outright filthy moan when Junmyeon’s warm mouth closes around his nipple and teasingly scraps his teeth around it.
“That can be arranged - no onions I assume?” his voice is mocking, but Jongdae is unable to come up with a snarky comeback when Junmyeon’s skilled hand is stroking him over the thin material of his boxers.
He only manages to grit out a whiny, “Don’t you dare put that stinky vegetable anywhere near me,” before Junmyeon’s mouth covers his own.
Jongdae’s phone is ringing now, but they both decide to ignore it since it’s probably just Baekhyun coming up with another excuse why he is running late and why the store wasn’t open on the dot. It doesn’t matter, really, in Seoul there are many coffee shops that open as they please; and Baekhyun usually stays past his shift, so Junmyeon has long given up on scolding Baekhyun for being tardy to his morning shift. Especially not since their new full time employee Yixing has a habit of coming in early to have enough time to prepare everything, when in reality, he only comes in earlier to lust for cheerful Baekhyun from a safe distance. “A new day another couple soon to be born”, as Luhan would put it.
Jongdae inhales and exhales Junmyeon, relishing the warm sensation of his boyfriend’s bare form moving against his, one rhythm, one melody, and one mutual feeling. However, the world won’t change overnight. South Korea will not wake up one day and decide to legalize same gender marriage or openly show acceptance of gays; but Jongdae wants to believe that every step in the right direction will one day lead into a change for the better good.
He is no longer afraid to walk hand in hand with Junmyeon when they are out grocery shopping or visiting friends, and he ignores the glares and shady whispers and merely focuses on the young students, smiling and nodding at them encouragingly. There is always hope, one must just allow oneself to see it - just like there will always be sunshine awaiting us after the weeks of rain.
The only thing one has to do is keep on walking forward without giving up; not run and stay put when one has finally found a place or person to call home. No matter how different one defines oneself from the big crowd - in the end we all yearn for a home, and there is always one awaiting for every single one of us.
Jongdae knows that now, as he chants “I love yous,” again and again when Junmyeon presses their foreheads together, kisses him, and says it once again when they later sit next to each other on a blanket under a beautiful Willow, surrounded by fireflies - each a flask of hot, delicious Cappuccino in their palms.
Past, Presence, Future - Jongdae will no longer have to choose.
Because Junmyeon is in all of them.