He Just Sometimes Gets This Way
Title: He just sometimes gets this way.
Author: Diebyownhands
Beta: Mamoo13
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ray/Mikey
Summary: Ray needs to relax and Mikey knows just what to do.
Author's Note: I was going to write something funny about Ray really needing to get laid and Gerard trying to find someone for him, eventually Ray ends up with Mikey and Gerard slightly scared. Yeah, that didn’t turn out, instead I got a sort of very ‘fluffy’ fic.
He sometimes worries too much, thinks too much, and cares too much. He just sometimes gets this way: tense, quiet and upset. He can’t sleep, and even thinking about food makes him sick.
I can see the stress and concern on his face. He doesn’t wear them like a mask, he doesn’t hide behind it, he’d prefer to hide them from me. But they are there; hanging underneath his eyes in the shape of dark crescents, staring back at me from the darkness of his pupil.
I can tell almost anything from his eyes, it doesn’t matter how hard he tries to hide it. Everything is always there. It’s just a matter of learning his language, of taking the time to know his soul.
It always surprises me how much his soul tells me, how much it is willing to share, when he has always been so silent, so ready to carry everything on his shoulders. His soul gives me hints; it trusts me with the puzzle pieces, and from loving him, and knowing him for so long, I know exactly were they belong. I just have to get him to stop long enough for me to put them together.
He gets this way and it’s up to me to let him know I’m here by his side. I am here willing to take some of the load, willing to keep up with him. He isn’t alone and it’s something he sometimes forgets.
He is too tired at night, he falls asleep before I can even lie next to him. I take the time then, to just touch him. I push my fingers through his hair, softly massaging his scalp and I trace his lips, eyes and nose. I steal soft kisses, holding my breath not to wake him. I watch him as his tense form relaxes, as his shoulders soften and a light smile grows on his lips. Sleep captures me too, and I’m not there to keep his worry away. While sleep keeps me prisoner, worry sneaks back in and destroys my work. I wish I could enter his dreams; I wish I could soothe them and keep them calm until morning.
I have to force him to stop. I have to stand in his way and force him to see me.
“Here I am, Ray. Here I am. Your partner, your partner.”
He doesn’t know how he harms me in his attempt to keep me safe. He doesn’t want me to worry, and I do worry. I worry about him, because when he gets this way I feel as though he is drifting away. I feel as though I can easily lose him.
It’s terrifying to watch him crumble. I always wonder if I’ll be able to put him back together. I worry pieces will be left behind. Still, I accept the challenge, and I take the weight, because I know how tired his shoulders are, I know how much he needs this.
A deflated, ‘Mikey,’ escapes his lips, as though he hasn’t seen me here before. ‘Mikey,’ he’s breathless as I catch him, ‘Ray,’ his name from my lips, whispered together in a promise, a promise to be here for each other.
Lips, hands and heat, we no longer are anything else. It’s desperation, because it’s been too long. It’s passion, because nothing else burns this hot with out flames. Its love, because there is no other word for what we feel, for this merging of more than just our bodies, for this need to be the other not just with them.
His breath hot against my skin, his hands rough and soft just were I need them. It’s too slow and too quick, because I want him now, but I want to feel like this forever. I want to feel the warmth of his skin and the fast beating of his heart.
My tongue steals sounds from his mouth as though it created them in my own. It’s too distracting to feel any discomfort by the time we become one. It’s heat, nothing but heat as we move together, teeth, lips and ‘I love you’s’ and it will be over all too soon. Our eyes meet and I see myself in his. The sheen of sweat on his face has changed it from tired to glowing. The frown lines have faded, and I’m happy that there won’t be any dreams coming to undo this.
Ray leans onto me, lets me hold some of the weight for him and I kiss the side of his face. I kiss his lips and remind him that I love him.
He gets that way sometimes, withdrawn and too quiet. He gets that way when mundane problems come, money, work, rent. He gets that way because he always promised to care for me. He gets that way because he forgets I promised to care for him too.
Author: Diebyownhands
Beta: Mamoo13
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ray/Mikey
Summary: Ray needs to relax and Mikey knows just what to do.
Author's Note: I was going to write something funny about Ray really needing to get laid and Gerard trying to find someone for him, eventually Ray ends up with Mikey and Gerard slightly scared. Yeah, that didn’t turn out, instead I got a sort of very ‘fluffy’ fic.
He sometimes worries too much, thinks too much, and cares too much. He just sometimes gets this way: tense, quiet and upset. He can’t sleep, and even thinking about food makes him sick.
I can see the stress and concern on his face. He doesn’t wear them like a mask, he doesn’t hide behind it, he’d prefer to hide them from me. But they are there; hanging underneath his eyes in the shape of dark crescents, staring back at me from the darkness of his pupil.
I can tell almost anything from his eyes, it doesn’t matter how hard he tries to hide it. Everything is always there. It’s just a matter of learning his language, of taking the time to know his soul.
It always surprises me how much his soul tells me, how much it is willing to share, when he has always been so silent, so ready to carry everything on his shoulders. His soul gives me hints; it trusts me with the puzzle pieces, and from loving him, and knowing him for so long, I know exactly were they belong. I just have to get him to stop long enough for me to put them together.
He gets this way and it’s up to me to let him know I’m here by his side. I am here willing to take some of the load, willing to keep up with him. He isn’t alone and it’s something he sometimes forgets.
He is too tired at night, he falls asleep before I can even lie next to him. I take the time then, to just touch him. I push my fingers through his hair, softly massaging his scalp and I trace his lips, eyes and nose. I steal soft kisses, holding my breath not to wake him. I watch him as his tense form relaxes, as his shoulders soften and a light smile grows on his lips. Sleep captures me too, and I’m not there to keep his worry away. While sleep keeps me prisoner, worry sneaks back in and destroys my work. I wish I could enter his dreams; I wish I could soothe them and keep them calm until morning.
I have to force him to stop. I have to stand in his way and force him to see me.
“Here I am, Ray. Here I am. Your partner, your partner.”
He doesn’t know how he harms me in his attempt to keep me safe. He doesn’t want me to worry, and I do worry. I worry about him, because when he gets this way I feel as though he is drifting away. I feel as though I can easily lose him.
It’s terrifying to watch him crumble. I always wonder if I’ll be able to put him back together. I worry pieces will be left behind. Still, I accept the challenge, and I take the weight, because I know how tired his shoulders are, I know how much he needs this.
A deflated, ‘Mikey,’ escapes his lips, as though he hasn’t seen me here before. ‘Mikey,’ he’s breathless as I catch him, ‘Ray,’ his name from my lips, whispered together in a promise, a promise to be here for each other.
Lips, hands and heat, we no longer are anything else. It’s desperation, because it’s been too long. It’s passion, because nothing else burns this hot with out flames. Its love, because there is no other word for what we feel, for this merging of more than just our bodies, for this need to be the other not just with them.
His breath hot against my skin, his hands rough and soft just were I need them. It’s too slow and too quick, because I want him now, but I want to feel like this forever. I want to feel the warmth of his skin and the fast beating of his heart.
My tongue steals sounds from his mouth as though it created them in my own. It’s too distracting to feel any discomfort by the time we become one. It’s heat, nothing but heat as we move together, teeth, lips and ‘I love you’s’ and it will be over all too soon. Our eyes meet and I see myself in his. The sheen of sweat on his face has changed it from tired to glowing. The frown lines have faded, and I’m happy that there won’t be any dreams coming to undo this.
Ray leans onto me, lets me hold some of the weight for him and I kiss the side of his face. I kiss his lips and remind him that I love him.
He gets that way sometimes, withdrawn and too quiet. He gets that way when mundane problems come, money, work, rent. He gets that way because he always promised to care for me. He gets that way because he forgets I promised to care for him too.