(no subject)
Well the day have have been waiting for since I came back to the states is finely here. We don't have the documentation yet, but, we are officially divorced. It only took three years. upset emoticon I'm not really sure how I feel. I am glad that it is finely over. At the same time it has been over for a very long time. I am hoping this can provide me with some closure. I still have not healed. I am in a better place than I was three years ago, but, I still have major trust issues, as well as confidence issues. It has been eleven years since I have actually been close to anything I can call happiness. I had been sick prior to 2004, but, that is when things started to get out of hand. I don't want to dwell on this shit though. i don't know why I even bring it up. It is a new day. I am reminded of a message I sent Belinda at the end of 1999. It was the day I out out of the military. I had Today by the Smashing Pumpkins in my head that day. I feel kind of like I did on that day all those years ago. Just a bit older and wearier. I hope I can look back on this day later and recognize it for being the beginning of a new era in my life. We shall see.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmUZ6nCFNoU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmUZ6nCFNoU