Past few days....
The past few days have been really hard for me. It has felt like my entire world has been falling into a downward spiral. It's been a few days of ups and downs, I am very thankful for my friends that have come out of the wood work to lend me support.
All in all utter frustration is what I am experiencing. I'm a long way away from a problem that needs me to be there in person to fix. It's as if I'm standing on the sidelines, benched and unable to do anything to change the outcome of the game. My hands are tied and I'm just watching it all fall apart.
It's as if two and a half years has evaporated at a blink of an eye and I'm the last one to find out. I've never invested so much of myself into one thing and to have all of that violently taken away kills me. I'm still dazed like a victim of an automobile crash. Instantaneous and traumatic...
If I didn't care or was heartless would I feel the way I do now?
I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm direction less, I'm looking for answers....
I guess that's all I can think about, all I want to do is ask "Why?"
I'm going to be ok, in fact I'll be fine. It just hurts to think I hurt someone enough to have them not tell me, to have them hide it all there pain and to finally act in haste and run for cover expecting to not have to deal with all the repercussions and shockwaves.
I have never loved someone as much as I do her. And it baffles me for people to have thought contrary to that truth.
I'm fine, I swear. I'm not giving up with out a fight. I've made mistakes, I'm no saint. But I'm not going to let the most important thing in my life to walk out with out even a word.
Later Sport Fans,
All in all utter frustration is what I am experiencing. I'm a long way away from a problem that needs me to be there in person to fix. It's as if I'm standing on the sidelines, benched and unable to do anything to change the outcome of the game. My hands are tied and I'm just watching it all fall apart.
It's as if two and a half years has evaporated at a blink of an eye and I'm the last one to find out. I've never invested so much of myself into one thing and to have all of that violently taken away kills me. I'm still dazed like a victim of an automobile crash. Instantaneous and traumatic...
If I didn't care or was heartless would I feel the way I do now?
I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm direction less, I'm looking for answers....
I guess that's all I can think about, all I want to do is ask "Why?"
I'm going to be ok, in fact I'll be fine. It just hurts to think I hurt someone enough to have them not tell me, to have them hide it all there pain and to finally act in haste and run for cover expecting to not have to deal with all the repercussions and shockwaves.
I have never loved someone as much as I do her. And it baffles me for people to have thought contrary to that truth.
I'm fine, I swear. I'm not giving up with out a fight. I've made mistakes, I'm no saint. But I'm not going to let the most important thing in my life to walk out with out even a word.
Later Sport Fans,
