Sans Meds and Exhibits.
Tired, so tired.
It is one of the main reasons that is forcing me to wean off my Lexapro.
I knew what was said is true about people taking illicit drugs are kept immature due to not facing what makes them take drugs in the first place. I'm starting to believe that is the same truth when it comes to taking antidepressants. Certainly it might be true that I have a chemical imbalance--my old way of thinking 'chemical imbalance need chemical to balance'--and it convinced me of that because I had always been ANGRY MOODY SAD DEPRESSED ENRAGED IRRITATED since as long as I can remember. Would seem probable that it is a result of a physical malfunction, yes?
I resisted the urge to believe that terrible childhoods resulted my poor temperament. I always thought to myself--as I listened to someone else's torture story or read a psychology book that mentioned abuse leading to psychotic-ness---that IT HAPPENED YEARS, DECADES AGO, FORGIVEN, FORGOTTEN, WHO GIVES A SHIT, IT DON'T MATTER ANYMORE, WHAT THE HELL WHAT WAS YESTERDAY IS NOT TODAY, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
But now I've sort of realized that, really, my bad temper and selfish sadness is a habit that began when I was a child: my childish way of reacting to the badness and sickness I had to live with each day among my brothers. The habit started because I was indeed just a child and did not know how to be proactive, how to forcibly say no, how to even stop and tell on my brother to my parents what was going on. The only way I felt that I could react to each bad situation was to get instantly angry or depressed (and do nothing and let it happen).
So, I'm weaning. Wish me luck if you would, please.
Oh, I was going to write a whole lot more about what I'm going to be doing, my plans and what not for the next 6mths to a year. Exhibits and Toyota Prius hybrids are on the mind.
xoxo.
It is one of the main reasons that is forcing me to wean off my Lexapro.
I knew what was said is true about people taking illicit drugs are kept immature due to not facing what makes them take drugs in the first place. I'm starting to believe that is the same truth when it comes to taking antidepressants. Certainly it might be true that I have a chemical imbalance--my old way of thinking 'chemical imbalance need chemical to balance'--and it convinced me of that because I had always been ANGRY MOODY SAD DEPRESSED ENRAGED IRRITATED since as long as I can remember. Would seem probable that it is a result of a physical malfunction, yes?
I resisted the urge to believe that terrible childhoods resulted my poor temperament. I always thought to myself--as I listened to someone else's torture story or read a psychology book that mentioned abuse leading to psychotic-ness---that IT HAPPENED YEARS, DECADES AGO, FORGIVEN, FORGOTTEN, WHO GIVES A SHIT, IT DON'T MATTER ANYMORE, WHAT THE HELL WHAT WAS YESTERDAY IS NOT TODAY, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
But now I've sort of realized that, really, my bad temper and selfish sadness is a habit that began when I was a child: my childish way of reacting to the badness and sickness I had to live with each day among my brothers. The habit started because I was indeed just a child and did not know how to be proactive, how to forcibly say no, how to even stop and tell on my brother to my parents what was going on. The only way I felt that I could react to each bad situation was to get instantly angry or depressed (and do nothing and let it happen).
So, I'm weaning. Wish me luck if you would, please.
Oh, I was going to write a whole lot more about what I'm going to be doing, my plans and what not for the next 6mths to a year. Exhibits and Toyota Prius hybrids are on the mind.
xoxo.