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Tomarrow is five months since the mugging...
I thought i was better then this I thought it wouldn't still have such an effect on me and my everyday life as it does. I walk around with a knife all the time and if I don't have it i feel naked and very very valnerable. I am jumpie at the littlest things. I dunno I thought I would have been better then I am right now, some people want me to go back cause they think I'm not right in the head, then others think that I'm fine and that this stuff just takes time. I think I fall somewhere in the middle of that. I want to go back to therepy so I can get better faster. AS much as getting mugged with someone eles was helpful, i guess thats the only way i can put it. Me and Amanda always said it was a blessing and a curse, a curse becasue you never want anything to happen you your friends, but also a blessing cause we knew what we were going through and are abel to help each other out. but at the same time I wish other people didn't have someone eles to compare me to. they say it doesn't seem like amanda is so jumpy and amanda isn't always so edgy why are you? How am i supposed to answer that? I know alls i can do is work at it and i will be doing that. but i wish it would just hurry up....lol
Classes start wed, I'm hoping this semester is a little better then last. I'm hoping I'll be, being left behind later rather then sooner. and I hope there is as little drama as possible. I am planning formal and am almost right on schdule, it will most probably be one of the highlights of the semester at least i hope.
thats all i have for now...
Comment if you want...your welcome to it
I thought i was better then this I thought it wouldn't still have such an effect on me and my everyday life as it does. I walk around with a knife all the time and if I don't have it i feel naked and very very valnerable. I am jumpie at the littlest things. I dunno I thought I would have been better then I am right now, some people want me to go back cause they think I'm not right in the head, then others think that I'm fine and that this stuff just takes time. I think I fall somewhere in the middle of that. I want to go back to therepy so I can get better faster. AS much as getting mugged with someone eles was helpful, i guess thats the only way i can put it. Me and Amanda always said it was a blessing and a curse, a curse becasue you never want anything to happen you your friends, but also a blessing cause we knew what we were going through and are abel to help each other out. but at the same time I wish other people didn't have someone eles to compare me to. they say it doesn't seem like amanda is so jumpy and amanda isn't always so edgy why are you? How am i supposed to answer that? I know alls i can do is work at it and i will be doing that. but i wish it would just hurry up....lol
Classes start wed, I'm hoping this semester is a little better then last. I'm hoping I'll be, being left behind later rather then sooner. and I hope there is as little drama as possible. I am planning formal and am almost right on schdule, it will most probably be one of the highlights of the semester at least i hope.
thats all i have for now...
Comment if you want...your welcome to it