thinking of yesterday and tomorrow.
and so in the dark
i'd appreciate it if you'd hold my hand a little tighter
cos its the drag and drone of my day to day
that often gets to my head and makes me stray
never meaning to cause interrogation
only wanting clarification
simply needing the brighter stars on the night sky's horizon
so while everything eats me up and burns me down
you should know that every tear shed is a promise
may it be to hard for you to understand
and it might not make sense
but my way of saying three words
to be scared of letting go of yourself is a fear that one will often feel, especially at the approach of whatever this is that's lying ahead of me. difficulty is calculated in when added to the equation are droves of people who, while feeling misunderstood themselves, don't quite get all the vowels in your sentences. they don't hear your punctuation, and often misplace your commas. and you learn that that is life. so you make new friends, replacing old acquaintences who've seemed to have lost your number or not gotten your new one, those other brothers who've decided tigers are better than devils because you're having trouble making sense of things, and your friends that simply weren't your friends in the first place, despite kindergarten playdates. so you pray to the deity in which you worship that someone will understand that you can't call me jay if you don't know how i roll, but you realize that no one cares. or at least, they don't care for the same reasons. the new crew doesn't recognize accents and three-years-and-running inside jokes. so you try for new ones. you find new kids and you infiltrate, not always being accepted with the open arms that a certain redhead, an intellectual from blount county, a boy that shared your sense of humor, and a boy that doesn't wear jeans always held out for you. so you find love in a boy three years your junior and pray that you don't fuck this one up, too. you find solace in a boy with poufy hair, one with a helicopter, one who you thought would blow you up if you spoke to him, one with a penchant for younger women and a nicotine problem, a girl who refers to you as princess, and a girl who, to some, is exactly like you, but to the trained eye, is as different as night is to day. you love these people and relish in every moment spent with them. you hope that the memories formed with them will be greater than or equal to those that haunt your smiles. and you hope that these friends understand you love them, and that you don't mean to be sad. that you want them to see you as a funny girl who really just wants everyone to get along, play some mario, drink some dr pepper, and have a good fucking time.
i really do love my life. i'm just sad sometimes.
so to laura, jered, zack, darrell, ashley, andrew, jacob, whitney, bobby, kasey, mary, scott, wade, kevin, nick t, nick a, dusty, doug, sandy, steven foster, brittany, nikki, meredith, tommy ace, and jacob bridges, thank you. i may not see some of you every day, or talk to you that often, but i appreciate all of you people. some just cos you wave at me whenever i see you, others because you care about me more than any people i've ever known. thank you.
ps. i find it quite odd what just happened. in picking my subject title, i decided to pick up one of my notebooks i write it, open it, close my eyes, turn to a page, and point to a line. whatever that line said would be my subject. weird.
i'd appreciate it if you'd hold my hand a little tighter
cos its the drag and drone of my day to day
that often gets to my head and makes me stray
never meaning to cause interrogation
only wanting clarification
simply needing the brighter stars on the night sky's horizon
so while everything eats me up and burns me down
you should know that every tear shed is a promise
may it be to hard for you to understand
and it might not make sense
but my way of saying three words
to be scared of letting go of yourself is a fear that one will often feel, especially at the approach of whatever this is that's lying ahead of me. difficulty is calculated in when added to the equation are droves of people who, while feeling misunderstood themselves, don't quite get all the vowels in your sentences. they don't hear your punctuation, and often misplace your commas. and you learn that that is life. so you make new friends, replacing old acquaintences who've seemed to have lost your number or not gotten your new one, those other brothers who've decided tigers are better than devils because you're having trouble making sense of things, and your friends that simply weren't your friends in the first place, despite kindergarten playdates. so you pray to the deity in which you worship that someone will understand that you can't call me jay if you don't know how i roll, but you realize that no one cares. or at least, they don't care for the same reasons. the new crew doesn't recognize accents and three-years-and-running inside jokes. so you try for new ones. you find new kids and you infiltrate, not always being accepted with the open arms that a certain redhead, an intellectual from blount county, a boy that shared your sense of humor, and a boy that doesn't wear jeans always held out for you. so you find love in a boy three years your junior and pray that you don't fuck this one up, too. you find solace in a boy with poufy hair, one with a helicopter, one who you thought would blow you up if you spoke to him, one with a penchant for younger women and a nicotine problem, a girl who refers to you as princess, and a girl who, to some, is exactly like you, but to the trained eye, is as different as night is to day. you love these people and relish in every moment spent with them. you hope that the memories formed with them will be greater than or equal to those that haunt your smiles. and you hope that these friends understand you love them, and that you don't mean to be sad. that you want them to see you as a funny girl who really just wants everyone to get along, play some mario, drink some dr pepper, and have a good fucking time.
i really do love my life. i'm just sad sometimes.
so to laura, jered, zack, darrell, ashley, andrew, jacob, whitney, bobby, kasey, mary, scott, wade, kevin, nick t, nick a, dusty, doug, sandy, steven foster, brittany, nikki, meredith, tommy ace, and jacob bridges, thank you. i may not see some of you every day, or talk to you that often, but i appreciate all of you people. some just cos you wave at me whenever i see you, others because you care about me more than any people i've ever known. thank you.
ps. i find it quite odd what just happened. in picking my subject title, i decided to pick up one of my notebooks i write it, open it, close my eyes, turn to a page, and point to a line. whatever that line said would be my subject. weird.