fucking whore! you suck! i'm not a loser...

[mybluenovember]

i love talking to my dad on the fone now, cause we really get a long. i mean, before when i was younger i didn't understand what was really going on. i know my mom tried to tell me, but i think her views and ideas on things kind of found their way into my head and that's what i had believed, although it may not have been entirely tru. it was only how she had felt about him and i had yet to form my own feelings and opinions about him. however, young stupid minds are so impressionable that what she said had stuck and i believed it all up until now. i even tried to get an idea about him, but it turned out bad the first time. but second chances and trys are good. they work sometimes. whatever works, then the person should go with it. if it doesn't work, then they should move on. i wish me and my dad could have communicated like this way before, maybe i would have grown up easier. it always felt so hard. cause like most kids had, and still do, both their parents, but me; i only had one. and so i only got one opinion. but it's best when you have two different ones because it's more choices to choose from for whatever works out best. i know my aunt was always there and sometimes my uncle, but they weren't really there... like that's hard to explain. they're a part of me, in my life and all, but they didn't help to make me. and what helped to make me, is what is me. that's what's easier to relate to better. so my mom is always saying i'm like my dad, and at first, i resented her saying that because of what has happened in my dad's past, but i guess i've come to realize that i'm not my dad's past. that's not the part of me that's like him. the part of me that's like him is mostly my personality and how i act. we're very laid-back and mostly very chill. i may not be as outgoing as him sometimes, but he said i got a good head on my shoulders and thank god for that. and i felt really good when he said that, cause he told me what he thought of me which was that i'm intelligent, very bright, even tho i kno i'm lazy and lacking motivation, but i'm leading myself in the right direction. like i've got good friends and i'm not in with bad people and doing things that could affect my future in harmful ways or any of that stuff. it just made me feel really proud of myself. i know my mom says things like that too, but i like the sound of it from my dad because i dont hear it often and it's like a gift that nobody else could give me. i think i favor my dad over my mom, even though i love them both the same. i don't know. i think i'm pretty content with everything right now.

anywho, best thing that happened today, i got an A on my Algebra 2 test and for most of you, i guess that's easy, but that's a big accomplishment for me. Cause it's MATH and it's ALGEBRA 2, so yeh. aight, i'm out. laters