Eighteen: In Which Klaus Trains His Adorable Gaggle Of Children To Be Ruthless Hunters

[myblimpisbigger]

[Later in the afternoon on Easter Sunday, after family time is over (whether that's church or just loafing around with chocolate bunnies), residents may notice a group of very tiny people scuttling frantically around Mayfield's park (which is where everything seems to happen, I mean, really). This is Klaus's kindergarten class, or at least, the

Comments

[hontobakabaka]

[Ruri stands near the edge of the perimeter, peering around a bit]

"Hrm...."

[myblimpisbigger]

[Hey, Ruri! Have a little drone girl with pigtails and freckles scampering up to you, apparently intent on showing you the eggs she has thus far collected.]

Heya, Ruri! Look what I've got!

[There is all of one tiny foil-wrapped egg in her basket. SHE IS SO PROUD. Wat do?]

[hontobakabaka]

[She nods]

"Try looking under that bush there, and given the ambient light, at the base of the tree over there."

[She tilts her head and peers over the field again]

[myblimpisbigger]

Can do!

[And off she scampers, pigtails bouncing, basket swinging. You know, for soulless hellspawn, drone kids are kind of sweet. And for an over-seven-foot tall half-insane tyrant, their teacher is pretty okay too.]

Helping out, I see.

[hontobakabaka]

"Omoikane and I have already set up a map of the area with probability rates of where eggs are hidden."

[She shrugs a little]

[myblimpisbigger]

Really? I would quite like to know your process.

[You have made an egg hunt scientific, Ruri. He already likes you.]

[hontobakabaka]

[She waves her hands and a 24' holographic monitor appears in front of her with an aerial map of the area, then the cover is made slightly transparent and given cover probabilities, then the average IQ of a 6 year old is considered, there are charts for all of this, busy screen]

"Most of it is a combination of math and maps."

[myblimpisbigger]

[... Say, Ruri. You're not a Spark, are you?]

Fascinating. And very well thought-out. Though I suggest adjusting for the fact that the children here range in age from three to six, and thus, your IQ cross-mapping is flawed.

[hontobakabaka]

"Oh... I see..."

[She blinks and the locations of the eggs on the map change slightly]

"There, I made the adjustment. I probably should turn off this map before the children get wise to it though. The search is part of the fun I guess."

[myblimpisbigger]

I doubt they would understand its meaning even if they were paying the slightest attention to it. They are not, if you'll forgive the use of the word, programmed to understand something so complicated.

[Which they aren't. They are kids who have been promised candy. Candy is all they see.]

[hontobakabaka]

"True... If I knew more about biology I'd be curious if they were shell's waiting to accept a person like us or if they were natives to this place who had already been broken... Its kind of sad."

[myblimpisbigger]

It is, in a way. They act almost entirely 'alive', until something obviously out of the ordinary happens and they don't even bat an eyelash. They simply do not recognize that sort of thing; I doubt it even mentally registers with them.

[hontobakabaka]

"It may be a programing issue honestly. But without taking one and digging out the base code, I can't prove that theory, and I doubt that diagnostics of a human brain are similar to a computer core. Hrm... Maybe I should ask Miss GLaDOS."

[myblimpisbigger]

I doubt it is an issue so much as a major part of their design. They are intended to be models of 'correct' behavior; that includes, I would assume, acceptance of any and all changes to the base data of the town. We, too, are expected to assume that we have always lived here and that the never-ending cycle of new arrivals always has as well, but unlike them, our base data does not immediately change. We register that the family we wake up with has changed in the event of a new member. In that respect, I believe their brains are not like ours in the way you describe: they are reprogrammable machines. We are still our flawed human selves.

[hontobakabaka]

"I did consider that for a while, but I ran into the issue of non-humans being forced into human bodies for a while. Its like the central data unit of the town has only so much processing power and then it needs time to further decode the specialties of residents. That way they may be slugs with just a simple place holder program, waiting for something more, or they could be the control tests in a larger psychological experiment."

[myblimpisbigger]

Oh, naturally, the aspect of our physical appearance changing throws something of a wrench into the theory. But think of it this way -- you could transfer a central control chip from one clank to another, and while the clank itself would look fundamentally different, the chip and all of the information it contained would be exactly the same. Their chips, unlike ours, have been permanently overwritten. Or perhaps I am taking the metaphor too far.

As to the idea that this is a psychological experiment -- that thought has certainly crossed my mind. And if that is the true intent, then I must applaud the scientist behind it. His methods may be questionable but at the same time, I imagine they have yielded amazing results.