Breaking Inside
I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe it was because the dogs were howling at the gardeners. Maybe it was because I saw your death once more in my dreams. Or maybe God wanted to test my strength. -_-
I haven't wanted to cut myself as bad as I do this morning in a very long time. It's unbearable. I feel like my veins are pulsating through my skin. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. My mind is on fire.
I feel like screaming.
I don't get it. As far as life goes, it's pretty good right now. I don't have any serious issues, and all the drama that happened a few months ago has settled somewhere in oblivion. Things are great.
-sigh-
I need to get home. I'm suffocating here.
"Out here, nothings clear
Except the moment I decided to move on and I ignited
Disappear into the fear
You know there ain't no comin' back
When you're still carrying the past
You can't erase, separate
Cigarette in my hand,
Hope you all understand
I won't be the last one in line
I finally figured out what's mine
I don't want to live
To waste another day
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made
'Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside
I don't want to fall and say I lost it all
'Cause baby there's a part of me that hit the wall
Leaving pieces of me behind
And I feel like I'm breaking inside"