(no subject)
HURNEY!!!!!!!
I had just got back from traffic court! Guruhl, that jurdge looked like George Bush! I felt sorry fo' his ass, I was sitting in that chair waitin' fo' them to call my name they was all "Candace Williams" and "Johnny Jermaine Smith" and some asian guy hurney I did not know WHAT they said or how they would spell it but it sounded a hot mess... kooyeeyong guruhl what the hell is that, sound like somethin' someone gonna say when they tickle a hoot-and-holler!
Hurney, this asian dude was FINE AS HELL fo' a Japanese Chinese Korean Vietnamese... guruhl I don't know what the funk he was but I do know he was an oriental and he was pimpin' his shit! Hurney, he had on this brown and cream sweater and jet black hair looked like some kind of dessert guruhl you know I would eat him with a spoon!
Anywho, I was sittin' there in that chair waitin' and hurney, they called my name and this ole white bitch didn' know what she durrin' talkin' 'bout "Yooreeda Sharffa Velitta Fohmaggurry Andrott Jackson" and I was like, "Hurney, you only got the damn last name right, you smokin' some crack?"
Took my big black ass up there to that jurdge and that ole white bitch and he was like, "How are you this morning?" And I said, "Hurney, I is WOE OUT. Did you not see I had to walk up here? Lissen here, white man, my breasteses are the size of watermelons and you axin' me how I durrin'! Hurney, I is in some motherflippin' pain! Do you know how hard it is to DRIVE with these things? Mr. Bean, no wonder I drove off into the damn median, you gonna give me some props fo' stayin' on my side of the highway! Hurney, be lucky I can drive right-side up!"
And he was all, "Ma'am, I'm going to hold you in contempt." and I was all like, "OH NO YOU DIDN'! You ain't puttin' a finger on this bitch unless you put a ring on this finger! Hurney, I ain't axin' you to wed me, just give me some flippin' bling, that's what's up! Hurney, give me some new boots, buy me a cadillac, hurney, I would be happy if you took me to see a dollar movie, just buy me somethin' 'fo' you gonna try to put a hold on me."
Hurney, they tried to throw me up under the jail, and I was beatin' on that jurdge with my Apple Bottom purse and chile, he was just not gettin' the idear so I straight pulled a razor up out my weave and cut that bitch. that shut that ole white bitch up, too, and they just looked at me and let me go... didn't know the power of a black sista!
Guruhl, didn't even FINE me fo' runnin' over that Jew.
I had just got back from traffic court! Guruhl, that jurdge looked like George Bush! I felt sorry fo' his ass, I was sitting in that chair waitin' fo' them to call my name they was all "Candace Williams" and "Johnny Jermaine Smith" and some asian guy hurney I did not know WHAT they said or how they would spell it but it sounded a hot mess... kooyeeyong guruhl what the hell is that, sound like somethin' someone gonna say when they tickle a hoot-and-holler!
Hurney, this asian dude was FINE AS HELL fo' a Japanese Chinese Korean Vietnamese... guruhl I don't know what the funk he was but I do know he was an oriental and he was pimpin' his shit! Hurney, he had on this brown and cream sweater and jet black hair looked like some kind of dessert guruhl you know I would eat him with a spoon!
Anywho, I was sittin' there in that chair waitin' and hurney, they called my name and this ole white bitch didn' know what she durrin' talkin' 'bout "Yooreeda Sharffa Velitta Fohmaggurry Andrott Jackson" and I was like, "Hurney, you only got the damn last name right, you smokin' some crack?"
Took my big black ass up there to that jurdge and that ole white bitch and he was like, "How are you this morning?" And I said, "Hurney, I is WOE OUT. Did you not see I had to walk up here? Lissen here, white man, my breasteses are the size of watermelons and you axin' me how I durrin'! Hurney, I is in some motherflippin' pain! Do you know how hard it is to DRIVE with these things? Mr. Bean, no wonder I drove off into the damn median, you gonna give me some props fo' stayin' on my side of the highway! Hurney, be lucky I can drive right-side up!"
And he was all, "Ma'am, I'm going to hold you in contempt." and I was all like, "OH NO YOU DIDN'! You ain't puttin' a finger on this bitch unless you put a ring on this finger! Hurney, I ain't axin' you to wed me, just give me some flippin' bling, that's what's up! Hurney, give me some new boots, buy me a cadillac, hurney, I would be happy if you took me to see a dollar movie, just buy me somethin' 'fo' you gonna try to put a hold on me."
Hurney, they tried to throw me up under the jail, and I was beatin' on that jurdge with my Apple Bottom purse and chile, he was just not gettin' the idear so I straight pulled a razor up out my weave and cut that bitch. that shut that ole white bitch up, too, and they just looked at me and let me go... didn't know the power of a black sista!
Guruhl, didn't even FINE me fo' runnin' over that Jew.