killing the last moments of spring break
THE LADYKILLERS (19 )- [3.0] I was told what a masterpiece this was, from Mr Drew Casper himself! How superior it is to the sequel. Umm…not really. I guess I don’t really go for this type of humor too much. The plot and comedy seemed stretched way too thin. This could all have been done quaintly and keenly in a 30 min tv show. Maybe the fact that its British comedy makes it unfunny. I don’t have a knack for much of that humor. And even Peter Sellers let me down. He should have been great but…alas. At least the old lady is funny.
THE LADYKILLERS (2004)- [3.2] A little better than the original. And only because its a bit updated.
RAN- [4.4] Beautiful. Fascinating. I may have to say this is my favorite Kurosawa film. An epic mesh of Shakespeare (mostly “King Lear”) and Samarui (it all has a very LAST SAMURAI feel). The characters are actually engaging, something that I’ve found difficult in his films. The color is spectacular, and adds a lot to the depth of Kurosawa’s work. The story is on par with any classic epic, and the fight sequences are almost perfectly staged. A few slow moments, but only to lull you while you wait for the explosion of emotion. The king’s wife…one of the most devilish performances. I was truly frightened by her. Kurosawa has a knack for making despicable women (I’m thinking of the wife in THRONE OF BLOOD). Remarkable scenes: the king’s counselor calling the queen a devil, the sex scene, and the blood. Oh the blood.
I, THE WORST OF ALL- [3.7]
WHEN WE WERE KINGS- [4.0]
COWARDS BEND THE KNEE- [4.1]
TALES FROM GIMLI HOSPITAL- [3.6]
AGE OF INNOCENCE- [3.6] Period Piece. Scorsese. Michelle Pfeifer. Hot? Not ‘not’, but not great. Another long scorsese film, but without the punch and pizzaz of his classics. Of course, he couldn’t do that here, because the very nature/theme of the film is societal restraint. An interesting excersize for this director, perhaps, but nothing to remember. The acting is fine, story is fine. Its all fine. But just fine.
LONE STAR- [2.8] Ugh. Painful. I thought I would like John Sayles, mostly because he is associated with the important Independent Director’s movement. But, hopefully he turns out better schlock than this shit fest. The opening wasn’t the most promising, but I had hope. Some fancy camera movement to move from present to past cannot make up for the weak dialogue and plot. I never really cared about any of the characters, especially not Chris Cooper. Maybe its just that ugly mug of his. So many characters and subplots were introduced, without much real resolution…In fact, the only real resolution, the shocking revelation at the conclusion, is so awful, so “maybe that’s supposed to be funny” BAD that the entire audience burst into laughter and “what the fuckkkk?”s. Oh, and it’s a really long movie too. Pretty pictures would be the main reason to see this. Or if you happen to be into masochism.
THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY- [3.9]
BARAKA- [4.4] The film that has brought me closest to contemplating vegetarianism. Imagine: A cute bushel of baby chicks. A hand reaches in and apathetically grabs a handful. Some chicks are marked with a marker and then thrown down a metal tube. The chicks are clumped together, looking confused, being tossed side to side on a conveyer-belt. Another set of hands grabs the chicks, sticks their necks against a metal rod, which sends a very visual shock to the chicks, seemingly killing them. Other chicks have their beaks burned on another heated metal rod. They are then tossed into another shoot and whisked off to I-don’t-want-to-know. Whew. I was stewing in my seat, hand over mouth, sooooo shocked. And horrified. Cuz hey! I don’t care about animals, I’m not too sympathetic to their plight. They’re nice to eat. But these images…melt even the hardest hearts. Oh, and the rest of the film was cool to. Whats it about? Um, lots of different cultures around the world. Some liberal message of how mankind is destroying nature, and how big cities are destroying small communities. Indictment on capitalism. Same old ideas, but with some of the greatest images captured on film. No dialogue, just some typical new age shit. Highly Recommended. (P.S. probably makes a great stoner film!!)
PATTON- [4.7] Incredible film. Unbelievable 70 MM print. One of the most memorable acting performances in cinema…and George C. Scott refused to even show up to the Oscars ceremony, where he won. This film is long, but the great thing about older films, is that they are kind enough to put in Intermissions. Whew. The character of Patton is far more complex than I imagined, and the film is surprisingly touching and funny, while still managing to be an effective war film. Patton is a warrior living in the wrong time period, a man who must be respected, castigated, and ultimately investigated.
PLAYTIME- [4.1]
THE THING- [3.7]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK- [3.5]
THE GODFATHER- [5.0] Greatest movie ever made? I’d say yes, but then what about PART II? This movie has the best opening and closing sequences ever. When that door closes on Diane Keaton, and that waltz starts playing…my heartstrings snap. So many amazing moments here, with one of the best scripts of all time. Beautiful images, great acting. Brando is at his best here. As amazing as the scene is where Michael shoots the police chief and Sollozzo with the gun hidden behind the toilet, nothing, and I mean NOTHING in cinema can compare with the incredible climax of this film:
TAPE- [3.9] Tension. Solid directing. Fine acting. Great line: “There’ll be other drugs, Vincent.” “I know… but I really liked those ones.”
SERIAL MOM- [3.5] Oh Kathleen Turner. From Sexy BODY HEAT to crazed housewife. And possibly my favorite mainstreem John Waters film.
GODFATHER PART II- [5.0] What can I say? I long considered this superior to the first film. Then I changed my mind. Now I again uphold this film as the best of the two, but merely because it is darker, more complex, and more satisfying. It doesn’t have the operatic conclusion of the first, but it has some deep, cutting personal moments (I’m thinking of the Fredo’s fate and the final conversation with Kay). DeNiro is fine as young Vito, but I’m pissed that Al Pacino didn’t win for what I think is an incredible performance. The anguish that bubbles underneath that hardened face…haunting. Coppola is king.
CLOSER- [3.9]
ARNA’S CHILDREN- [4.0] Funny opening sequence, really disturbing ending sequence. The middle has its moments, but for someone who is not at all connected with the Israel/Palestine conflict, I had a difficult time engaging with this documentary. The images and ideas were interesting, and the characters were lively, but I have very little background on the conflict and the various techniques that have been used for years in the fighting. The Palestinian mothers, who say they would rather have their sons die than surrender, was horrifying. The footage, cutting between the young children in a theatre group and then showing them grown up, filming their suicide bomber videos, was perfect juxtapositioning.
ELIZABETH- [3.9]
THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN- [4.1] My first Fassbinder film (I was already pumped up, having learned before I saw this movie that he was a drug-addicted gay party director, who made several important New German films before dying of a cocaine overdose in 1982…wow). Impressive opening sequence, which lulls into a very strange series of events for poor, Postwar Maria Braun, who’s husband is MIA. Germany is in destruction, anti-nazi sentiments are still stinging, and Maria is forced to turn tricks to keep living. She falls in love with a black man, and her husband returns, and things get funky. This film has a very interesting parallel with the Godfather, in its epic portrayal of a rise from poverty to wealth, and the hollowness that money brings with it. Maria is masterfully played by Anna Schygulla, who tilts between ruthless cold heartedness and desperate romantic. The ending is superb (the instant the film reached its climactic end, one man stood up and began eerily, slowly clapping. Incredible moment).
THE BITTER TEARS OF PETRA VON KANT- [4.2] Even better than the Fassbinder “classic” MARIA BRAUN. This one was much more relatable (esp. for me), and incredibly interesting, dense, and intense. A handful of actresses (no men) in one room for the entire film. One room. The camera work was great, for I hardly even thought about the ultra-confined space, except how fitting it looked in every shot. The acting is top notch, esp. Margit Carstensen as Petra and Anna Schygulla (from MARIA) as Petra’s lover. The lesbian subject matter is handled wonderfully, if a tad dated. The dialogue is great, and the relationships feel both human and representative of all humanity. This film deals with power, how we put ourselves in situations of dominance and control, and how quickly they can reverse. Be patient. It’s a treasure of film history (and another incredible ending…Fassbinder can sure do them right!).
BANDE A PART- [3.8] So-so Godard. Even though it is a crime film, it is so typical Godard. What does this mean? It means it’s a very atypical film. Things seem to happen for no other reason than because they’re fun. Great, classic film moments include the 9 minute 43 second tour of the Louvre, the flirting in English class, and the dance sequence. Fun times, Anna Karina is beautiful, the end is kooky, but the pacing just isn’t right for a serious crime film. And this isn’t one. But I enjoy Godard more when he deals with love and politics.
UNE FEMME EST UNE FEMME- [4.2] Fantastic! Color, Cinemascope, and Godard. Dynamite! One of the only bad things about this film is that the color reveals Anna Karina’s one flaw: her not-so-pretty teeth. But, forget that. She’s a stripper in this one! The incredible sound editing, visual jump cuts, the filmic references (Belmondo telling them they should hurry because BREATHLESS is on tv tonight-the very same film he had made with Godard 2 years earlier)( or when Belmondo asks some woman how JULES AND JIM is coming). A great idea for a romance: the girl wants to get pregnant. The guy…not so much. So they play a game, where she tries to have a baby by means of her lover’s good friend. Trouble ensues. Classic scene: The couple refuse to speak to each other, so they must use words from covers of books to spell out sentences to each other in bed. Its so adorable.
THE FIFTH ELEMENT- [3.8] I remember liking this, but I can’t say much. I was high. Goddamn marijuana. The colors were pretty. Milla Jovavich had a sweet white strap outfit thingie. The taxi cab was cool. Effects were nifty. I should probably watch this one again, sober.
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE- [3.6] So-so revenge flick. Doesn’t have quite as many shocking scenes as THRILLER, but thank god there are no slow motion shots. This film is lengthy, but lacking in tension and atmosphere, something typical of many 70’s flicks that tried to be ‘artsy’ and ‘realistic.’ Some parts are terribly slow, but there’s enough senseless dialogue to keep you watching. The dorky guy with glasses was the funniest, but also the most disturbing. Also, Camile Keaton was a dumbass for telling the guy that she has lots of boyfriends, and he can be one too! You bitch. Well, she gets raped. Lots. So of course she needs revenge. The first death= ok, could have been better. The second= amazing. The third= what a wasteful way to end this interesting film. This may be much more fun to watch while listening to the commentary by Joe Bob Briggs.
DAWN OF THE DEAD (’78)- [3.6] Surprisingly not as much fun as the remake. I didn’t expect any scares from this movie, because I knew it was mostly a satire of 70’s self-obsessed culture (unlike the newer one, which accomplishes both satire and horror). This film has a really long setup…taking thirty minutes to get to the main setting of The Mall is twice as long as necessary. Once the four characters are in the mall…nothing really great happens. Some zombies die, some humans die. The film lags for about an hour, and then finally the biker gang shows up. This was the best part of the film, as it wasn’t as silly or as much fun in the remake (zombie pie fight? Awesome). The bikers’ deaths are ridiculous (esp. the Mexican trying to check his blood pressure and then getting his arms torn off). The ending is decent, but no match for the slickness of the new one. Maybe its because no one will give poor George Romero any money for his flicks. Poor Georgie Boy.
HULK- [3.3] This is yet another example of why I don’t value anything that comes out of Dr. Casper’s mouth, as entertaining a mouth as it is. I enjoyed the first half hour of this film. It was oddly (almost surreally) cartoony, with comic book-like jump cuts, and really wild acting. It seemed like it was setting up a fun, geeky romp through 1970’s intelligent and light-hearted HULK books. Oh, but then Ang Lee had to go too far and make this into one of his relationship epics. Arg. I mean, ANY movie over two hours is stretching my patience, but this one had absolutely no need to be so long. I thought that the huge 20 minute romp/battle in the desert that ended with Bruce with his woman…that should have been the conclusion. But then there’s some more odd scenes with Nick Nolte as Banner’s dad. And then they talk. And there’s a really corny, unnecessary final battle. And then two epilogues, the last of which is silly, kinda funny, but ultimately pointless. If you don’t think to much, this makes a decent flick.
THE LADYKILLERS (2004)- [3.2] A little better than the original. And only because its a bit updated.
RAN- [4.4] Beautiful. Fascinating. I may have to say this is my favorite Kurosawa film. An epic mesh of Shakespeare (mostly “King Lear”) and Samarui (it all has a very LAST SAMURAI feel). The characters are actually engaging, something that I’ve found difficult in his films. The color is spectacular, and adds a lot to the depth of Kurosawa’s work. The story is on par with any classic epic, and the fight sequences are almost perfectly staged. A few slow moments, but only to lull you while you wait for the explosion of emotion. The king’s wife…one of the most devilish performances. I was truly frightened by her. Kurosawa has a knack for making despicable women (I’m thinking of the wife in THRONE OF BLOOD). Remarkable scenes: the king’s counselor calling the queen a devil, the sex scene, and the blood. Oh the blood.
I, THE WORST OF ALL- [3.7]
WHEN WE WERE KINGS- [4.0]
COWARDS BEND THE KNEE- [4.1]
TALES FROM GIMLI HOSPITAL- [3.6]
AGE OF INNOCENCE- [3.6] Period Piece. Scorsese. Michelle Pfeifer. Hot? Not ‘not’, but not great. Another long scorsese film, but without the punch and pizzaz of his classics. Of course, he couldn’t do that here, because the very nature/theme of the film is societal restraint. An interesting excersize for this director, perhaps, but nothing to remember. The acting is fine, story is fine. Its all fine. But just fine.
LONE STAR- [2.8] Ugh. Painful. I thought I would like John Sayles, mostly because he is associated with the important Independent Director’s movement. But, hopefully he turns out better schlock than this shit fest. The opening wasn’t the most promising, but I had hope. Some fancy camera movement to move from present to past cannot make up for the weak dialogue and plot. I never really cared about any of the characters, especially not Chris Cooper. Maybe its just that ugly mug of his. So many characters and subplots were introduced, without much real resolution…In fact, the only real resolution, the shocking revelation at the conclusion, is so awful, so “maybe that’s supposed to be funny” BAD that the entire audience burst into laughter and “what the fuckkkk?”s. Oh, and it’s a really long movie too. Pretty pictures would be the main reason to see this. Or if you happen to be into masochism.
THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY- [3.9]
BARAKA- [4.4] The film that has brought me closest to contemplating vegetarianism. Imagine: A cute bushel of baby chicks. A hand reaches in and apathetically grabs a handful. Some chicks are marked with a marker and then thrown down a metal tube. The chicks are clumped together, looking confused, being tossed side to side on a conveyer-belt. Another set of hands grabs the chicks, sticks their necks against a metal rod, which sends a very visual shock to the chicks, seemingly killing them. Other chicks have their beaks burned on another heated metal rod. They are then tossed into another shoot and whisked off to I-don’t-want-to-know. Whew. I was stewing in my seat, hand over mouth, sooooo shocked. And horrified. Cuz hey! I don’t care about animals, I’m not too sympathetic to their plight. They’re nice to eat. But these images…melt even the hardest hearts. Oh, and the rest of the film was cool to. Whats it about? Um, lots of different cultures around the world. Some liberal message of how mankind is destroying nature, and how big cities are destroying small communities. Indictment on capitalism. Same old ideas, but with some of the greatest images captured on film. No dialogue, just some typical new age shit. Highly Recommended. (P.S. probably makes a great stoner film!!)
PATTON- [4.7] Incredible film. Unbelievable 70 MM print. One of the most memorable acting performances in cinema…and George C. Scott refused to even show up to the Oscars ceremony, where he won. This film is long, but the great thing about older films, is that they are kind enough to put in Intermissions. Whew. The character of Patton is far more complex than I imagined, and the film is surprisingly touching and funny, while still managing to be an effective war film. Patton is a warrior living in the wrong time period, a man who must be respected, castigated, and ultimately investigated.
PLAYTIME- [4.1]
THE THING- [3.7]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK- [3.5]
THE GODFATHER- [5.0] Greatest movie ever made? I’d say yes, but then what about PART II? This movie has the best opening and closing sequences ever. When that door closes on Diane Keaton, and that waltz starts playing…my heartstrings snap. So many amazing moments here, with one of the best scripts of all time. Beautiful images, great acting. Brando is at his best here. As amazing as the scene is where Michael shoots the police chief and Sollozzo with the gun hidden behind the toilet, nothing, and I mean NOTHING in cinema can compare with the incredible climax of this film:
TAPE- [3.9] Tension. Solid directing. Fine acting. Great line: “There’ll be other drugs, Vincent.” “I know… but I really liked those ones.”
SERIAL MOM- [3.5] Oh Kathleen Turner. From Sexy BODY HEAT to crazed housewife. And possibly my favorite mainstreem John Waters film.
GODFATHER PART II- [5.0] What can I say? I long considered this superior to the first film. Then I changed my mind. Now I again uphold this film as the best of the two, but merely because it is darker, more complex, and more satisfying. It doesn’t have the operatic conclusion of the first, but it has some deep, cutting personal moments (I’m thinking of the Fredo’s fate and the final conversation with Kay). DeNiro is fine as young Vito, but I’m pissed that Al Pacino didn’t win for what I think is an incredible performance. The anguish that bubbles underneath that hardened face…haunting. Coppola is king.
CLOSER- [3.9]
ARNA’S CHILDREN- [4.0] Funny opening sequence, really disturbing ending sequence. The middle has its moments, but for someone who is not at all connected with the Israel/Palestine conflict, I had a difficult time engaging with this documentary. The images and ideas were interesting, and the characters were lively, but I have very little background on the conflict and the various techniques that have been used for years in the fighting. The Palestinian mothers, who say they would rather have their sons die than surrender, was horrifying. The footage, cutting between the young children in a theatre group and then showing them grown up, filming their suicide bomber videos, was perfect juxtapositioning.
ELIZABETH- [3.9]
THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN- [4.1] My first Fassbinder film (I was already pumped up, having learned before I saw this movie that he was a drug-addicted gay party director, who made several important New German films before dying of a cocaine overdose in 1982…wow). Impressive opening sequence, which lulls into a very strange series of events for poor, Postwar Maria Braun, who’s husband is MIA. Germany is in destruction, anti-nazi sentiments are still stinging, and Maria is forced to turn tricks to keep living. She falls in love with a black man, and her husband returns, and things get funky. This film has a very interesting parallel with the Godfather, in its epic portrayal of a rise from poverty to wealth, and the hollowness that money brings with it. Maria is masterfully played by Anna Schygulla, who tilts between ruthless cold heartedness and desperate romantic. The ending is superb (the instant the film reached its climactic end, one man stood up and began eerily, slowly clapping. Incredible moment).
THE BITTER TEARS OF PETRA VON KANT- [4.2] Even better than the Fassbinder “classic” MARIA BRAUN. This one was much more relatable (esp. for me), and incredibly interesting, dense, and intense. A handful of actresses (no men) in one room for the entire film. One room. The camera work was great, for I hardly even thought about the ultra-confined space, except how fitting it looked in every shot. The acting is top notch, esp. Margit Carstensen as Petra and Anna Schygulla (from MARIA) as Petra’s lover. The lesbian subject matter is handled wonderfully, if a tad dated. The dialogue is great, and the relationships feel both human and representative of all humanity. This film deals with power, how we put ourselves in situations of dominance and control, and how quickly they can reverse. Be patient. It’s a treasure of film history (and another incredible ending…Fassbinder can sure do them right!).
BANDE A PART- [3.8] So-so Godard. Even though it is a crime film, it is so typical Godard. What does this mean? It means it’s a very atypical film. Things seem to happen for no other reason than because they’re fun. Great, classic film moments include the 9 minute 43 second tour of the Louvre, the flirting in English class, and the dance sequence. Fun times, Anna Karina is beautiful, the end is kooky, but the pacing just isn’t right for a serious crime film. And this isn’t one. But I enjoy Godard more when he deals with love and politics.
UNE FEMME EST UNE FEMME- [4.2] Fantastic! Color, Cinemascope, and Godard. Dynamite! One of the only bad things about this film is that the color reveals Anna Karina’s one flaw: her not-so-pretty teeth. But, forget that. She’s a stripper in this one! The incredible sound editing, visual jump cuts, the filmic references (Belmondo telling them they should hurry because BREATHLESS is on tv tonight-the very same film he had made with Godard 2 years earlier)( or when Belmondo asks some woman how JULES AND JIM is coming). A great idea for a romance: the girl wants to get pregnant. The guy…not so much. So they play a game, where she tries to have a baby by means of her lover’s good friend. Trouble ensues. Classic scene: The couple refuse to speak to each other, so they must use words from covers of books to spell out sentences to each other in bed. Its so adorable.
THE FIFTH ELEMENT- [3.8] I remember liking this, but I can’t say much. I was high. Goddamn marijuana. The colors were pretty. Milla Jovavich had a sweet white strap outfit thingie. The taxi cab was cool. Effects were nifty. I should probably watch this one again, sober.
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE- [3.6] So-so revenge flick. Doesn’t have quite as many shocking scenes as THRILLER, but thank god there are no slow motion shots. This film is lengthy, but lacking in tension and atmosphere, something typical of many 70’s flicks that tried to be ‘artsy’ and ‘realistic.’ Some parts are terribly slow, but there’s enough senseless dialogue to keep you watching. The dorky guy with glasses was the funniest, but also the most disturbing. Also, Camile Keaton was a dumbass for telling the guy that she has lots of boyfriends, and he can be one too! You bitch. Well, she gets raped. Lots. So of course she needs revenge. The first death= ok, could have been better. The second= amazing. The third= what a wasteful way to end this interesting film. This may be much more fun to watch while listening to the commentary by Joe Bob Briggs.
DAWN OF THE DEAD (’78)- [3.6] Surprisingly not as much fun as the remake. I didn’t expect any scares from this movie, because I knew it was mostly a satire of 70’s self-obsessed culture (unlike the newer one, which accomplishes both satire and horror). This film has a really long setup…taking thirty minutes to get to the main setting of The Mall is twice as long as necessary. Once the four characters are in the mall…nothing really great happens. Some zombies die, some humans die. The film lags for about an hour, and then finally the biker gang shows up. This was the best part of the film, as it wasn’t as silly or as much fun in the remake (zombie pie fight? Awesome). The bikers’ deaths are ridiculous (esp. the Mexican trying to check his blood pressure and then getting his arms torn off). The ending is decent, but no match for the slickness of the new one. Maybe its because no one will give poor George Romero any money for his flicks. Poor Georgie Boy.
HULK- [3.3] This is yet another example of why I don’t value anything that comes out of Dr. Casper’s mouth, as entertaining a mouth as it is. I enjoyed the first half hour of this film. It was oddly (almost surreally) cartoony, with comic book-like jump cuts, and really wild acting. It seemed like it was setting up a fun, geeky romp through 1970’s intelligent and light-hearted HULK books. Oh, but then Ang Lee had to go too far and make this into one of his relationship epics. Arg. I mean, ANY movie over two hours is stretching my patience, but this one had absolutely no need to be so long. I thought that the huge 20 minute romp/battle in the desert that ended with Bruce with his woman…that should have been the conclusion. But then there’s some more odd scenes with Nick Nolte as Banner’s dad. And then they talk. And there’s a really corny, unnecessary final battle. And then two epilogues, the last of which is silly, kinda funny, but ultimately pointless. If you don’t think to much, this makes a decent flick.