0430 | 7/100
Title: 0430 - Dream: It’s a two-way relationship
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: au!psychiatrist ; angst ; romance
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7/100
Summary: Lee Hyukjae is a psychiatrist who gets too attached to his druggie patient, Lee Donghae. He soon finds himself knowing more than what he needs to.
›› 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06
a/n: I MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THE PROMPT TOO LITERALLY. HAVEN’T DOUBLE CHECKED THIS SO YOU MIGHT SEE LOTS OF ERRORS. AND YES, WTF IS UP WITH THE CHAPTER TITLE.
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November 21, 2011 | Monday | 4:30PM
“What’s your dream?” I asked Donghae who was lying down the couch, playing with the rubik’s cube another patient left. It has been two days since I brought Donghae home and had the talk with Sungmin. Two days since I almost lost my sanity, and two days since his words started replaying in my head like a broken record. I knew I shouldn’t be entertaining inappropriate thoughts so I did what I could to forget every single thing about our conversation.
“I asked you,” I repeated, crossing my leg over the other. “What’s your dream?”
“What’s yours?” he replied, eyes still trained on the damn toy. I kept silent, waiting for him to speak more but he didn’t. Clearly, his mind is miles away. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was tired. Since this morning, I’ve been dealing with the immature man that is Donghae. Yes, he once again made an appointment for the whole day. He really has to stop it.
“You have to stop doing this.” I told him. “You can’t schedule a whole day appointment everyday. I have other patients, just in case you forgot.”
“Hmm…yeah sure,” but I know too well he didn’t mean that.
I stared at him in pity and stretched out my hand. “You’re doing it wrong.” He stopped and finally made eye contact with me. “You’ve been at it for more than an hour. I feel bad for you so here, let me help you.”
“Don’t be so arrogant. Solving this stupid thing doesn’t make you awesome.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Well that’s true. Now, could you please do me a favor and stop fumbling with the toy and pay attention to me?”
“Attention whore,”
“Yes, yes, I am. Now, can you?”
“Fine. But can I keep this?” I agreed and he excitedly kept it in his jacket pocket. He stretched and yawned which made me shoot him a glare. He is not gonna sleep right now. I won’t let him.
“Lee Donghae, let me get things straight. This habit of yours, stop it. You can’t come in here, lie down the couch and do nothing. When I try to talk to you, it more often than not turns into an argument. You also have to start listening to me. You’re here for a reason. We are friends, yes, but that doesn’t mean…you know what? I am tired of repeating this speech every single day. I’m giving you a choice right now. You can either stay here or walk out the door. If you do walk out, I cannot accept you in here. But if you stay, you’re gonna listen to me whether you like it or not.”
I wasn’t testing his patience. I was giving him a choice. For whatever choice he makes, there is a consequence. If he walks out, he would never see me again. It sounds very conceited but I know he doesn’t want to lose me as a friend. I just know. And if he stays, he would have to put up with me and my annoying self.
Much to my utter surprise, he slammed his fists on the table and he looked like he was about to cry. But really, it could be anything. Maybe he bit his tongue or something extreme that made him want to cry. Okay I admit, that was stupid. “No!” I jumped in shock at his outburst. “If I step out of this room, I would never get to see you again. No, I can’t let that happen. I just can’t…no…no…just no!”
“Oh,”
“Oh? Is that the only thing you’ll say? Oh? You say you care about me but you don’t. Do you even know how I feel right now? All you care about is your bloody job and how you’ll be able to force what you want to hear out from me!”
I was so stunned that I didn’t even know how to react. My body refused to cooperate with me. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him that no, he’s getting the wrong idea. But then, that would be hypocritical of me. I might have gone too far with the threats and I have no excuse to that. I was too focused on my job that maybe, he feels as if I’m being too harsh on him. “Come here,” for some reason, I found my voice again. He didn’t budge and knowing that I wasn’t really helping him like what I think I’m doing, I have to fix this.
He cried in my arms, saying how frustrating it was to be my patient. I could say the same for him but I kept my mouth shut. I’m certainly not gonna take the risk. Donghae breaking down isn’t exactly a pretty sight. It’s heartbreaking as much as it’s painfully awkward to watch someone so rude and arrogant act like a lost puppy. I comforted him and took in everything he said. Somehow, I know I could make this work out.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. He has recovered from his crying fiasco and his sobs were replaced with soft hiccups. “This should have been a two-way relationship. Give and take. When you speak, I’ll listen. And when I speak, I’m expecting you to listen to me, also. You know you could tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I promise that I won’t force into doing anything anymore. But you must be aware that there are times when I have no choice but to do it.”
“I understand.” Donghae replied, wiping his tears with his hands. “You’re the only one I confide to because you’re the only one I have right now apart from Aiden. I trust you and you have to trust me too, Hyukjae. I know I’m most of the time unlikeable and it might seem like I’m always lying but please try to understand where I’m coming from. This whole set-up is still new for me. And of all people, I expect you to not judge me because of what I do and what I’ve done.”
The Donghae speaking right now is even more different than the previous ones I’ve talked to. It’s like everytime I’m having a session with him, a whole new personality comes out and it’s up to me to be surprised. All I could do is apologize and make a promise that I would never make the same mistake again. In return, he promised to not be a pain in the ass and that alone is a pretty huge deal. I’m gonna let go of all the doubts I have of him and trust him like how he trusts me.
There’s this one thing I noticed though. Why does it seem like my skills are deteriorating?
“So…as I was asking…what’s your dream?” Donghae asked, sipping on his strawberry milk. A few hours have passed since his meltdown and everything’s going smoothly.
I shrugged. “Nothing really. All I wanted was to finish college and have a decent job. I wasn’t really interested in anything at all back then. Then I remembered the time when Sungmin told me how talkative and nosy I am so I figured I should take up something which involves talking to people.”
“You hit two birds with one stone.”
“Yeah, something like that. How about you then? What do you really want to achieve?” I asked as he snuggled closer, resting his head on my chest. It was when I sat beside him that he voluntarily scooted closer and slung my arm on his shoulder. “Does it have something to do with performing arts?” I mused, remembering his conversation with Junsu days ago.
“It was an old dream of Aiden and I. I realized that there was no way I could make it happen so I let it go but Aiden was persistent so yes, he’s not letting his talent go to waste. He was actually doing something about it while I just continued living my life as a delinquent and silently supported him.” I stared at him thoughtfully. It was the second time he’s mentioned Aiden so casually and it bothers me.
I’ve diagnosed him with Multiple Personality Disorder but why is he aware of Aiden’s existence? Could it be that he has a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (which is the same as MPD)? There are cases of some DID patients where they get delusional and imagine things which really don’t exist. Donghae has some of the symptoms but I can’t be too sure. It could be the effect of the drugs he’s been taking for years or anything at all. I don’t want to jump into conclusions but I’m itching to know what the real deal is.
›› 08
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: au!psychiatrist ; angst ; romance
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7/100
Summary: Lee Hyukjae is a psychiatrist who gets too attached to his druggie patient, Lee Donghae. He soon finds himself knowing more than what he needs to.
›› 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06
a/n: I MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THE PROMPT TOO LITERALLY. HAVEN’T DOUBLE CHECKED THIS SO YOU MIGHT SEE LOTS OF ERRORS. AND YES, WTF IS UP WITH THE CHAPTER TITLE.
-
November 21, 2011 | Monday | 4:30PM
“What’s your dream?” I asked Donghae who was lying down the couch, playing with the rubik’s cube another patient left. It has been two days since I brought Donghae home and had the talk with Sungmin. Two days since I almost lost my sanity, and two days since his words started replaying in my head like a broken record. I knew I shouldn’t be entertaining inappropriate thoughts so I did what I could to forget every single thing about our conversation.
“I asked you,” I repeated, crossing my leg over the other. “What’s your dream?”
“What’s yours?” he replied, eyes still trained on the damn toy. I kept silent, waiting for him to speak more but he didn’t. Clearly, his mind is miles away. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was tired. Since this morning, I’ve been dealing with the immature man that is Donghae. Yes, he once again made an appointment for the whole day. He really has to stop it.
“You have to stop doing this.” I told him. “You can’t schedule a whole day appointment everyday. I have other patients, just in case you forgot.”
“Hmm…yeah sure,” but I know too well he didn’t mean that.
I stared at him in pity and stretched out my hand. “You’re doing it wrong.” He stopped and finally made eye contact with me. “You’ve been at it for more than an hour. I feel bad for you so here, let me help you.”
“Don’t be so arrogant. Solving this stupid thing doesn’t make you awesome.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Well that’s true. Now, could you please do me a favor and stop fumbling with the toy and pay attention to me?”
“Attention whore,”
“Yes, yes, I am. Now, can you?”
“Fine. But can I keep this?” I agreed and he excitedly kept it in his jacket pocket. He stretched and yawned which made me shoot him a glare. He is not gonna sleep right now. I won’t let him.
“Lee Donghae, let me get things straight. This habit of yours, stop it. You can’t come in here, lie down the couch and do nothing. When I try to talk to you, it more often than not turns into an argument. You also have to start listening to me. You’re here for a reason. We are friends, yes, but that doesn’t mean…you know what? I am tired of repeating this speech every single day. I’m giving you a choice right now. You can either stay here or walk out the door. If you do walk out, I cannot accept you in here. But if you stay, you’re gonna listen to me whether you like it or not.”
I wasn’t testing his patience. I was giving him a choice. For whatever choice he makes, there is a consequence. If he walks out, he would never see me again. It sounds very conceited but I know he doesn’t want to lose me as a friend. I just know. And if he stays, he would have to put up with me and my annoying self.
Much to my utter surprise, he slammed his fists on the table and he looked like he was about to cry. But really, it could be anything. Maybe he bit his tongue or something extreme that made him want to cry. Okay I admit, that was stupid. “No!” I jumped in shock at his outburst. “If I step out of this room, I would never get to see you again. No, I can’t let that happen. I just can’t…no…no…just no!”
“Oh,”
“Oh? Is that the only thing you’ll say? Oh? You say you care about me but you don’t. Do you even know how I feel right now? All you care about is your bloody job and how you’ll be able to force what you want to hear out from me!”
I was so stunned that I didn’t even know how to react. My body refused to cooperate with me. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him that no, he’s getting the wrong idea. But then, that would be hypocritical of me. I might have gone too far with the threats and I have no excuse to that. I was too focused on my job that maybe, he feels as if I’m being too harsh on him. “Come here,” for some reason, I found my voice again. He didn’t budge and knowing that I wasn’t really helping him like what I think I’m doing, I have to fix this.
He cried in my arms, saying how frustrating it was to be my patient. I could say the same for him but I kept my mouth shut. I’m certainly not gonna take the risk. Donghae breaking down isn’t exactly a pretty sight. It’s heartbreaking as much as it’s painfully awkward to watch someone so rude and arrogant act like a lost puppy. I comforted him and took in everything he said. Somehow, I know I could make this work out.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. He has recovered from his crying fiasco and his sobs were replaced with soft hiccups. “This should have been a two-way relationship. Give and take. When you speak, I’ll listen. And when I speak, I’m expecting you to listen to me, also. You know you could tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I promise that I won’t force into doing anything anymore. But you must be aware that there are times when I have no choice but to do it.”
“I understand.” Donghae replied, wiping his tears with his hands. “You’re the only one I confide to because you’re the only one I have right now apart from Aiden. I trust you and you have to trust me too, Hyukjae. I know I’m most of the time unlikeable and it might seem like I’m always lying but please try to understand where I’m coming from. This whole set-up is still new for me. And of all people, I expect you to not judge me because of what I do and what I’ve done.”
The Donghae speaking right now is even more different than the previous ones I’ve talked to. It’s like everytime I’m having a session with him, a whole new personality comes out and it’s up to me to be surprised. All I could do is apologize and make a promise that I would never make the same mistake again. In return, he promised to not be a pain in the ass and that alone is a pretty huge deal. I’m gonna let go of all the doubts I have of him and trust him like how he trusts me.
There’s this one thing I noticed though. Why does it seem like my skills are deteriorating?
“So…as I was asking…what’s your dream?” Donghae asked, sipping on his strawberry milk. A few hours have passed since his meltdown and everything’s going smoothly.
I shrugged. “Nothing really. All I wanted was to finish college and have a decent job. I wasn’t really interested in anything at all back then. Then I remembered the time when Sungmin told me how talkative and nosy I am so I figured I should take up something which involves talking to people.”
“You hit two birds with one stone.”
“Yeah, something like that. How about you then? What do you really want to achieve?” I asked as he snuggled closer, resting his head on my chest. It was when I sat beside him that he voluntarily scooted closer and slung my arm on his shoulder. “Does it have something to do with performing arts?” I mused, remembering his conversation with Junsu days ago.
“It was an old dream of Aiden and I. I realized that there was no way I could make it happen so I let it go but Aiden was persistent so yes, he’s not letting his talent go to waste. He was actually doing something about it while I just continued living my life as a delinquent and silently supported him.” I stared at him thoughtfully. It was the second time he’s mentioned Aiden so casually and it bothers me.
I’ve diagnosed him with Multiple Personality Disorder but why is he aware of Aiden’s existence? Could it be that he has a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (which is the same as MPD)? There are cases of some DID patients where they get delusional and imagine things which really don’t exist. Donghae has some of the symptoms but I can’t be too sure. It could be the effect of the drugs he’s been taking for years or anything at all. I don’t want to jump into conclusions but I’m itching to know what the real deal is.
›› 08