A walk on the beach...
So, today.. after a long, boring, mildly depressing day. I decided to go to the beach. Cross Beach is our name for it, due to the cross that sits on a sand dune; that cross has withstood many hurricanes, and stands strong today as a beacon. I sat on that beach tonight, as the sun was setting, and the clouds were closing over the stars, and I just prayed. I prayed that perhaps my faith, and my spirtual walk would stand strong like that cross. That perhaps, I could walk tall despite the wind, and rain that pound on me daily. I sat there, in the pitch dark, just listening to the sound of the waves crashing on shore, and watching a space in the clouds open up, to allow a ray of moonlight to illuminate the scenary. In that moment, I know that there is a higher purpose. My life will not be dimmed down due to the insignificant troubles of a teenage boy. I know that God's plan for me is not yet in full bloom, and that while I may face hardships, and I will yet question my very existence; I will stand strong, and I will in the depths of my soul, in the bottom of my heart.. I will know that God isn't about to let me go astray; God isn't about to forget about me, My God isn't going anywhere. Athazagoraphobia - It is the fear of being forgotten or ignored. I struggle daily with those very fears. I worry that maybe, these friends who I've learned to love with a huge part of my heart, may just.. forget I'm there. I tear up, thinking that maybe the joy I know, and the peace I've come to grow fond of.. will be forgotten by me. I die inside a little bit, thinking that maybe, I'm not as.. important in the eyes of my family as I once thought, and that once I'm on my own, I will be forgotten. The one thing I've yet to so much as consider as a potential loss, would be the Love of God, that I feel shining bright on my heart every day. I won't lose that, because.. God WON'T GIVE UP on me; God WON'T FORGET me; My Jesus, My Savior, My King, My God... WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN!.. Today, was a day of soul searching, a day of darkness; but one that was illuminated by God's truth, and Love. Just like the white sand of the beach was illuminated by the parting of the clouds. The dark clouds in my life, will pass. The wind and rain, will pass. The fear that I will be forgotten, will itself be forgotten! Because, I am loved by Him who created all that love is, and all that love encompasses. I may not always be a happy, out-going, ray of sunshine. I may not be a brilliant source of enlightened wisdom, and I may even be a royal annoying pain in the butt. However, we are taught that the world and all in it, will one day be nothing more than a dream. We are destined for much much much better things, and while we are here, we just have to make the best of it. Tonight, I walked along a dark beach, wind blowing in my hair, and clouds blocking a view of the stars; but I sang my heart out to God, I let Him take all that was clouding my soul, and I FORGOT my fears... through that.. my path was illuminated. Through God, my way was shown to me. No one went to the beach with me this evening, but I was far from alone.. a dual set of footprints is imprinted on that beach that is overlooked by a strong symbol of God's sacrifice for us. He was watching me, and walking with me.