Coming clean
I haven't posted here in a very long time (as you can see) so I thought I would update on my life. I've been blogging elsewhere but have neglected my LJ.
I have been teaching elementary music since August. I will say it is MUCH better than where I was at the past two years but I still have my doubts about teaching. I'm not sure if it's what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. There are aspects of teaching the younger kids that I adore then there are parts that I really hate. I love the kids. That's my favorite part of the job. They are sweet and many of them are cute. They LOVE coming to music class (most of them) and that's a huge relief from what I dealt with last year! I've decided that I hate lesson plans. I hate writing them. I'm not a planner. I've always been a procrastinator and I have no desire to plan out every single detail of what I will do and say for each hour I teach. I'm terrible at it so I don't put enough time and effort into it because I get discouraged. There's no way to plan a chorus rehearsal. I love the spontaneity of teaching chorus. Something's not right - let's fix it. Back and forth making REAL music (not silly little baby songs with two pitches in them). I also hate the politics behind teaching. I hate the catty women I have to deal with day in and day out and I can't STAND that I'm considered a babysitter. Drives me NUTS. No one cares about what they're learning in music class - they just want their planning period. No one CARES about what's going on in music class because they have so many other things to worry about. As long as I can make them look cute it's no big deal. I don't like it and I need to be praying more fervently about what path God wants me to take. I have been trying to take control over this crazy life and that's just not working. I know where to find my answers I just need to be patient enough, still enough, and quiet enough to HEAR the answers.
Corey is working at a bank now. He really enjoys it and talks about going back to school (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!) to get a degree in accounting or something else bank-ish. He's still working part time at AE to keep the discount and have a little extra cash coming in.
I might get a PT job at Bath and Body Works again. I loved working for the company but the people I was working with treated me terribly. I don't remember how much I wrote about that last year but it was AWFUL. There's new management and she's VERY sweet. She told Corey to have me come in tomorrow after 2pm so hopefully something good will come of that.
Being grown-up sucks sometimes. The financial issues you face and the bills are just awful. I miss the joy and innocent bliss of childhood. We've been taking the class by Dave Ramsey at church (Financial Peace University). It's AWESOME. It has helped us a lot. We haven't made much progress (we're in a fairly deep hole) but it has helped us to focus on fixing the problems we have. The "Baby Steps" put everything into perspective and give you a sense of hope that an end CAN come and WILL come if you work hard enough to reach your goals. We're starting to tithe more (something I've been convicted to do for a LONG time) and I'm sure we will see wonderful things come of that. Our church has an automatic draft withdrawal that we're going to hook up to so that it's automatic and consistent. We've "forgotten our check" too many times as the offering plate is passed by so we're really going to buckle down and give back to God what He has blessed us with. It's all His anyway, I don't know why we think it belongs to us!
Now about my blog title. This is terribly hard to write here because I haven't come out with this to my friends and family but I know very few people actually read this and those of you who do will give me support, encouragement and prayer. Corey and I have been trying to start a family for over a year now. We have had no success (or you would have known about it for sure!). I went to the doctor at the beginning of October for my yearly check-up and to talk about infertility. I'm tearing up just writing about this. It's not something I never thought I would deal with. We have had several tests done and we're waiting on the results from my blood work that I just had taken today. We're waiting for answers and praying that God gives us understanding and the hearts to wait on His perfect timing. Apparently we haven't gotten there yet and we're accepting that each month that passes but it doesn't get any easier. This is National Infertility Awareness Week so I didn't see a better time to "come out of the closet" to you guys. We're not telling our parents and maybe 2 or 3 of our close friends know and we'd like to keep it that way. Like I said, I know that there are very few people reading this anyway. Please pray that God carry us through this and that His will is done no matter what happens.
Thanks for reading this novel of an entry!
I promise to update more regularly.
Have a great week!
Love, Rachel
I have been teaching elementary music since August. I will say it is MUCH better than where I was at the past two years but I still have my doubts about teaching. I'm not sure if it's what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. There are aspects of teaching the younger kids that I adore then there are parts that I really hate. I love the kids. That's my favorite part of the job. They are sweet and many of them are cute. They LOVE coming to music class (most of them) and that's a huge relief from what I dealt with last year! I've decided that I hate lesson plans. I hate writing them. I'm not a planner. I've always been a procrastinator and I have no desire to plan out every single detail of what I will do and say for each hour I teach. I'm terrible at it so I don't put enough time and effort into it because I get discouraged. There's no way to plan a chorus rehearsal. I love the spontaneity of teaching chorus. Something's not right - let's fix it. Back and forth making REAL music (not silly little baby songs with two pitches in them). I also hate the politics behind teaching. I hate the catty women I have to deal with day in and day out and I can't STAND that I'm considered a babysitter. Drives me NUTS. No one cares about what they're learning in music class - they just want their planning period. No one CARES about what's going on in music class because they have so many other things to worry about. As long as I can make them look cute it's no big deal. I don't like it and I need to be praying more fervently about what path God wants me to take. I have been trying to take control over this crazy life and that's just not working. I know where to find my answers I just need to be patient enough, still enough, and quiet enough to HEAR the answers.
Corey is working at a bank now. He really enjoys it and talks about going back to school (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!) to get a degree in accounting or something else bank-ish. He's still working part time at AE to keep the discount and have a little extra cash coming in.
I might get a PT job at Bath and Body Works again. I loved working for the company but the people I was working with treated me terribly. I don't remember how much I wrote about that last year but it was AWFUL. There's new management and she's VERY sweet. She told Corey to have me come in tomorrow after 2pm so hopefully something good will come of that.
Being grown-up sucks sometimes. The financial issues you face and the bills are just awful. I miss the joy and innocent bliss of childhood. We've been taking the class by Dave Ramsey at church (Financial Peace University). It's AWESOME. It has helped us a lot. We haven't made much progress (we're in a fairly deep hole) but it has helped us to focus on fixing the problems we have. The "Baby Steps" put everything into perspective and give you a sense of hope that an end CAN come and WILL come if you work hard enough to reach your goals. We're starting to tithe more (something I've been convicted to do for a LONG time) and I'm sure we will see wonderful things come of that. Our church has an automatic draft withdrawal that we're going to hook up to so that it's automatic and consistent. We've "forgotten our check" too many times as the offering plate is passed by so we're really going to buckle down and give back to God what He has blessed us with. It's all His anyway, I don't know why we think it belongs to us!
Now about my blog title. This is terribly hard to write here because I haven't come out with this to my friends and family but I know very few people actually read this and those of you who do will give me support, encouragement and prayer. Corey and I have been trying to start a family for over a year now. We have had no success (or you would have known about it for sure!). I went to the doctor at the beginning of October for my yearly check-up and to talk about infertility. I'm tearing up just writing about this. It's not something I never thought I would deal with. We have had several tests done and we're waiting on the results from my blood work that I just had taken today. We're waiting for answers and praying that God gives us understanding and the hearts to wait on His perfect timing. Apparently we haven't gotten there yet and we're accepting that each month that passes but it doesn't get any easier. This is National Infertility Awareness Week so I didn't see a better time to "come out of the closet" to you guys. We're not telling our parents and maybe 2 or 3 of our close friends know and we'd like to keep it that way. Like I said, I know that there are very few people reading this anyway. Please pray that God carry us through this and that His will is done no matter what happens.
Thanks for reading this novel of an entry!
I promise to update more regularly.
Have a great week!
Love, Rachel