humble pie anyone?
I went on a mini-vacation this week. I got to escape to Nashville for 2 days for the state music educators conference. It helped me draw 3 conclusions (some of which I already knew)
#1. I hate my job - it was AMAZING not having to be in that building. I really hope God shows me His purpose for me being there in the near future because it's more upsetting each day
#2. I LOVE NASHVILLE! I had a beautiful hotel room and walking the streets of Nashville was SO refreshing! I could live there. I just want a cubicle in one of the big buildings so I can sit outside and people watch on my lunch breaks.
#3. I'm completely and utterly confused about what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I'm torn straight down the middle with whether or not I really enjoy teaching music. Part of me is encouraged and excited the other wants to run screaming in terror in the opposite direction. I'm trying to wait patiently for God to open some windows because I've had plenty of doors shut in my face over the past few months regarding getting out of my school.
I discovered a harsh reality tonight when I got home. I ran into several things over the course of today that disappointed me far more than they should. I tried to let them pass, little things that shouldn't be a big deal, but they built up and I collapsed under them. Something that I've been looking forward to all week didn't work out and it finished me off. I've shut down and have been a terrible person for the past 2 hours. So my harsh reality is that I am getting a taste of my own disgusting medicine! I am a huge disappointment to God every single day of my miserable life! Christ died for me and I don't live my life glorifying Him with every ounce of my being - how selfish is that?! I understand the lesson (insert the good ole Baptist "2x4" metaphor) but it's such a hard one to swallow. It's going to take more than a spoonful of sugar to get this medicine down.
Can I have some whipped cream on that huge slice of humble pie?
#1. I hate my job - it was AMAZING not having to be in that building. I really hope God shows me His purpose for me being there in the near future because it's more upsetting each day
#2. I LOVE NASHVILLE! I had a beautiful hotel room and walking the streets of Nashville was SO refreshing! I could live there. I just want a cubicle in one of the big buildings so I can sit outside and people watch on my lunch breaks.
#3. I'm completely and utterly confused about what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I'm torn straight down the middle with whether or not I really enjoy teaching music. Part of me is encouraged and excited the other wants to run screaming in terror in the opposite direction. I'm trying to wait patiently for God to open some windows because I've had plenty of doors shut in my face over the past few months regarding getting out of my school.
I discovered a harsh reality tonight when I got home. I ran into several things over the course of today that disappointed me far more than they should. I tried to let them pass, little things that shouldn't be a big deal, but they built up and I collapsed under them. Something that I've been looking forward to all week didn't work out and it finished me off. I've shut down and have been a terrible person for the past 2 hours. So my harsh reality is that I am getting a taste of my own disgusting medicine! I am a huge disappointment to God every single day of my miserable life! Christ died for me and I don't live my life glorifying Him with every ounce of my being - how selfish is that?! I understand the lesson (insert the good ole Baptist "2x4" metaphor) but it's such a hard one to swallow. It's going to take more than a spoonful of sugar to get this medicine down.
Can I have some whipped cream on that huge slice of humble pie?