Her Hands are Soft as Light (fanfiction)
Her hands are soft as light, wrapping delicately about my wrists and urging rather than pulling me toward her. How long have I waited for her pure, clean eyes to cut me sharply as her scalpel, and find the something that no one has been able to see? Underneath it all, she undresses me, divests me of the clothes I use to cover it all up, and she sees it: that bright, flickering, eager and frightened core of me. Oh god, the touch of her fingers on my skin, bare and raw as a new wound, it is like heaven and hell’s fire at once, powerful and gentle, making me meek and leaving me blushing. I don’t want it to stop, the whoosh and blur, the smoke and mirrors, though I know, logically, that it will. All that matters is that, now, it’s happening, she’s surrounding me, and I’m tied up in her like a tiny leaf swirling tightly in a crisp breeze. She drowns me, and my lungs fill up, swell, I beg for breath, and find it in her warm mouth.
“Callie.”
She says my name like a holy word. And I feel holy, worshipped, glowing with beloved light. Her hands brush every inch of my skin and caress the deep parts of me that I couldn’t fully feel until she touched them, coaxing them awake. To the cell, I am humming, vibrating. Why is no part of me unavailable to her? She reaches parts of me that I could not come upon in my deepest dives, and does it so easily. A kiss, a touch, a pull, a glance, and she is there, resting familiarly and easily in my bones. I die, I breathe, I die, she pulls me back up again. Complete cycles of life in each and every moment. She inspires my very existence, and I inspire her to go ahead, again and again, leading me to where we’ll go.
“Erica.”
Her name is a low singing in my mind, the soundtrack playing offstage, an unseen orchestra flowing its music through me. Being feels like music, with her.
“Callie.”
A whisper so loud it echoes endlessly, shakes me down to nothing so that she can build me back up again, her hands so sweet and loving.
“Erica!”
I have to cry after her, for I am in darkness, frightened for the split second that I cannot feel her hands on my body. She brings me back down, back to her, and I feel like I am floating back down to her from somewhere far away, as distant as the moon and stars. She sends me that far, and brings me all the way back down.
“Callie.”
Clean, loving. She betrays her love without speaking its name.
“Erica.”
Her eyes take me forever, but they do not need to take me, for I have given myself willingly.
And sleep? Is just the moments between being in her arms, resting, held in her hands as soft as light.
“Callie.”
She says my name like a holy word. And I feel holy, worshipped, glowing with beloved light. Her hands brush every inch of my skin and caress the deep parts of me that I couldn’t fully feel until she touched them, coaxing them awake. To the cell, I am humming, vibrating. Why is no part of me unavailable to her? She reaches parts of me that I could not come upon in my deepest dives, and does it so easily. A kiss, a touch, a pull, a glance, and she is there, resting familiarly and easily in my bones. I die, I breathe, I die, she pulls me back up again. Complete cycles of life in each and every moment. She inspires my very existence, and I inspire her to go ahead, again and again, leading me to where we’ll go.
“Erica.”
Her name is a low singing in my mind, the soundtrack playing offstage, an unseen orchestra flowing its music through me. Being feels like music, with her.
“Callie.”
A whisper so loud it echoes endlessly, shakes me down to nothing so that she can build me back up again, her hands so sweet and loving.
“Erica!”
I have to cry after her, for I am in darkness, frightened for the split second that I cannot feel her hands on my body. She brings me back down, back to her, and I feel like I am floating back down to her from somewhere far away, as distant as the moon and stars. She sends me that far, and brings me all the way back down.
“Callie.”
Clean, loving. She betrays her love without speaking its name.
“Erica.”
Her eyes take me forever, but they do not need to take me, for I have given myself willingly.
And sleep? Is just the moments between being in her arms, resting, held in her hands as soft as light.