Blue Christmas
Everyone says that it will get better. But it isn't getting any better.
This Christmas was different, I thought to myself as the gray clouds and fog descended upon my windshield. It was dreary and lonely. My sister wasn't there to cheer me up. I tried to call her one night when I realized that I couldn't talk to her. I wanted to tell her about all the mass confusion going on in my brain.
I miss the way Jesse treated me. It's not that I miss Jesse so much. I miss the Jesse that I met when Leah died... the man Jesse. I don't miss the little boy Jesse. But I miss the way he loved me SO much. And Ryan. How do you kick someone out of your life forever that has been such an important part of it? I know that I need to. No...I HAVE to. But it is so hard and I haven't figured out how to do it yet.
This Christmas was different, I thought to myself as the gray clouds and fog descended upon my windshield. It was dreary and lonely. My sister wasn't there to cheer me up. I tried to call her one night when I realized that I couldn't talk to her. I wanted to tell her about all the mass confusion going on in my brain.
I miss the way Jesse treated me. It's not that I miss Jesse so much. I miss the Jesse that I met when Leah died... the man Jesse. I don't miss the little boy Jesse. But I miss the way he loved me SO much. And Ryan. How do you kick someone out of your life forever that has been such an important part of it? I know that I need to. No...I HAVE to. But it is so hard and I haven't figured out how to do it yet.