Burn After Watching, NC-17, NCIS
Title: Burn After Watching
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/character: McGee/DiNozzo
Summary: "Wouldn't get tired." McGee smirked as he watched Tony watching the chair "Wouldn't get slow. Could keep on going for hours."
Warnings/Spoilers: None
A/N: Written for kink_bingo. Prompt is Fucking Machines. Part five of five in the Carte Blanche series. Much thanks to karaokegal for a fabulous beta.
“Are you making me watch this as punishment?”
To say that McGee was not enjoying the movie would have been an understatement. It wasn’t that he didn’t get it; he did. It just did nothing for him, and having endured Tony building it up to be the best movie this side of Casablanca hadn’t helped.
Even so, it was obviously an unpopular opinion as Tony was now looking at him like he’d sprouted a second head.
"What? No, it's a classic!"
"Tony,” McGee sighed, “it's less than two years old."
"It's a modern classic," Tony corrected.
"Fine, just wake me up when it's over." He settled back against the sofa and closed his eyes, only to open them moments later when Tony turned up the volume on the TV. Tony looked genuinely surprised.
"C'mon, you haven't even got to the dildo chair yet."
"The dildo chair? Yeah, sounds like a piece of comic genius."
Tony shrugged off his biting comment. "Just wait ‘til you see it."
It was clear that Tony was very enthusiastic about this, and McGee had no intention of allowing Tony to piss off his neighbors this early on a Sunday morning by screwing with the volume controls. He rolled his head back to watch the screen and prayed that it wouldn’t take long until this apparently hysterical chair was introduced. Ten excruciating minutes passed by.
"It's a rocking chair with a dildo attached,” he said, slowly. While McGee didn’t find it funny, he did find it interesting.
"Are you even watching the same film as I am?" Tony exclaimed.
"I guess not,” McGee snapped back, “because the most fun I've had since it started was the split second I just spent wondering how well the chair would work.”
“Split second?”
“Well then you interrupted me,” he explained.
Silence descended while McGee tried to follow the storyline and Tony appeared to be fuming.
"If it's adjustable then I guess it would be pretty good," Tony said, as though contemplating it.
Ah, not fuming, just concentrating. It was so hard to tell sometimes.
"The angle looks kinda wrong, though." Even for a woman, McGee thought, because really you’d be sitting pretty far back in that chair.
"Yeah and the seat doesn’t look that comfortable." Tony had his head tilted and McGee wondered if he’d really never thought about it before. Maybe he’d been too busy laughing.
"Motorized would be better," McGee chimed in.
"Motorized?"
"Yeah, that way you wouldn't have to worry about your legs giving out."
"That would be," Tony cleared his throat, "that would be pretty relentless."
"Wouldn't get tired.” McGee smirked as he watched Tony watching the chair “Wouldn't get slow. Could keep on going for hours." He deliberately elongated the last word while he let himself just think about it for a while.
"That would really be something." Tony’s voice sounded far-away as if he were seriously considering it.
"Wouldn't it?"
Tony swallowed down. "What are the chances of you having something like that around here?"
Oh you have to be kidding me "Sure, I've got it hidden in my closet with the cheerleader outfit and classic Ferrari."
"Shame.” Tony turned to McGee, looking a dangerous combination of mischievous and horny. “Oh well, we'll just have to make do, and as it's now unequivocally Sunday morning, it's my turn.”
“I don't see how that works.” There had never been any mention of turns in their agreement.
“You teased me, you spanked me, you even shaved me with a cut-throat razor.”
“- because you made me wear a stupid shirt to work and wouldn’t let me take it off because it was turning you on. This was my reward!” he interjected.
Tony kept going.. “You've had your turn, now it's mine and-”
McGee could tell where this was going and decided to head it off. "Tony, I'm begging you, please don't make a dildo-chair joke right now."
Tony glared at McGee, apparently frustrated. "-and I am going to make you regret interrupting me in my flow."
McGee didn't care. If he'd managed to curtail even one of Tony's puns he counted that as a victory.
A slightly Pyrrhic one, as it turned out.
“You know,” Tony began, getting up from the sofa and grabbing McGee’s arm “I was thinking about being grateful,” he pulled McGee up “maybe even saying thank you for what was, frankly, a very good weekend so far.” He twisted McGee’s arm behind his back and walked them both back into the bedroom.”
“Tony, what the-“
“But now I'm just going to fuck you. Really, really hard.”
It was at this point that Tim remembered that Tony was actually quite strong. More than strong enough to, say, hold him in place against the bedroom wall with one arm. Especially when said arm was twisting his forearm half-way up his back and pressing him into the nearest wall.
When he heard noises from the night-stand beside them, along with the cap of a tube flicking open behind him, he worked out why Tony was holding him with just one arm.
“Don’t think that this is for your benefit,” Tony said behind him, deep breathing lending a dark tone to his voice.
“Fuck,” he ground out as two lube-coated fingers were unceremoniously driven into him. Tony began to move them in and out as McGee realized that, okay, Tony wasn’t quite so pissed off as to want to hurt him. A small part of him felt bad for even worrying about that.
McGee could feel Tony’s fingers going deeper in and he pushed back, wondering if he could force them to hit just where he wanted. Tony responded by pulling the fingers out altogether.
“I’m beginning to think you were right, Timothy.” Tony’s arm moved to push McGee’s head down against the wall. “You really are perverse, aren’t you?”
As Tony placed his cock at McGee’s barely prepared entrance, McGee raised his free arm to brace himself against the wall. There was a bodily shove from behind and McGee could feel Tony pressed up against him. He didn’t have time to enjoy the sensation before Tony pulled out and pushed back in.
“I mean, look at you, you’re really enjoying me fucking you like this, aren’t you McGee? Being as rough as I damn well please?” McGee could feel Tony’s chin scraping his shoulder, his hot breath swirling past McGee’s cheek on every exhale. “I’ll bet you’re about ready to come right now, aren’t you?”
Tony rammed into McGee, leaving him gasping. Tony’s free hand was curled around McGee’s ridiculously hard cock and goddamit, of course he was enjoying this. How the hell could he not? Even if Tony was just pretending to be as pissed off as he was, even if he wasn’t being as rough as he could be, just the feeling of having no damned choice was getting him off.
“You can’t even deny it, can you?” Tony licked McGee’s ear and he couldn’t help but push back against him. The fuck was he going to start playing coy now.
“Oh, what, that not enough for you? You thinking about one of those damned things?” Tony asked. McGee contemplated answering, but had no choice as Tony stepped up his rhythm and began thrusting even harder.
“You know what, I should get one of those,” Tony said, each labored breath curling into McGee’s ear. “Just leave you hooked up to it for hours. Can you imagine that, just have something pounding into you with no way to turn it off? And I’ll just lie there, watching you beg for mercy as it breaks you apart again and again. You wouldn’t be able to sit down for days after.”
“Fuck you, Tony!”
“I’d like to see you try and explain that one to Abby,” Tony mocked.
“Goddamit Tony!” McGee yelled out, coming hard against the wall and Tony’s hand.
Tony kept pushing and pushing until McGee felt him twitch and shudder through his own climax. A vague thought that they’d left the movie playing ran through his mind, before being completely eradicated by an aftershock. He’d never come so hard that he’d had aftershocks before.
He felt the pressure on his arm released and gently pulled it back in front of him. Tony was now bracing himself against the wall, a hand on either side of McGee’s face. He stayed there for a moment before realising that, if they were this close to the bed, why the hell were they still standing up?
“Bed,” McGee said between heavy breaths.
“Too late.”
McGee couldn’t help but smile at what was probably an automatic response from Tony.
He gently pushed on Tony’s arm and guided him down towards the bed. He himself was sure to lie down on his front, but he could feel Tony’s arm fall over his back. It was weird how affectionate Tony could be after mind-blowing sex, he thought, amused.
“I am never going to be able to watch that movie again.”
McGee smirked into the pillow “You could always just skip that scene.”
“Or put it on repeat.”
McGee’s could feel the bed shaking beneath him from his silent laughter. Tony seemed to approve, bending down to kiss the back of McGee’s neck. They lay in silence for a while. McGee made a mental note to remember this the next time Tony was incessantly babbling.
“How good are you with your hands, McGee?”
Of course it wouldn’t last.
He turned his head to give Tony his best “did you really just ask me that?” look.
“Just thinking, about that machine. How hard can it be?”
“Abby’s better at that sort of thing.”
They both paused for a moment. McGee saw Tony shudder at the same time as he did.
“We’re not asking Abby,” he confirmed
“No,” Tony agreed.
“Just in case she already knows how.”
“Definitely not.”
McGee turned his head back into the pillow. “We’ll just have to buy one.”
“What?” Tony sounded scandalized “You heard what he said; they’re over a thousand dollars!”
“Tony, I was there,” McGee felt a twinge of pain as if to remind him just how there he’d been “I felt how hard you were just at the thought of it.”
Tony was quiet for a moment, and McGee was fairly sure he was contemplating this time. “You’re right, we’ll look for one when we get up.”
“I’m never getting up again,” McGee groaned.
“That’s why God invented smartphones, McGoogle.” The weight on the bed shifted as Tony rustled with something to the side of the bed.
“You mean those phones that people like Abby can hack and then broadcast your browsing history to the world?”
There was a sharp thud. McGee hoped Tony had dropped the phone on something soft because he could not be bothered fixing it again.
Noises from the TV suggested that the movie was still playing. The bed shifted and McGee remembered that from one side of the bed, the TV was just about visible.
“Oh hey, here’s a good bit, Brad Pitt’s about to get shot!”
McGee buried his head further into the pillow, bundling up the sides to cover his ears.
“Wake me up when it’s over.”
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/character: McGee/DiNozzo
Summary: "Wouldn't get tired." McGee smirked as he watched Tony watching the chair "Wouldn't get slow. Could keep on going for hours."
Warnings/Spoilers: None
A/N: Written for kink_bingo. Prompt is Fucking Machines. Part five of five in the Carte Blanche series. Much thanks to karaokegal for a fabulous beta.
“Are you making me watch this as punishment?”
To say that McGee was not enjoying the movie would have been an understatement. It wasn’t that he didn’t get it; he did. It just did nothing for him, and having endured Tony building it up to be the best movie this side of Casablanca hadn’t helped.
Even so, it was obviously an unpopular opinion as Tony was now looking at him like he’d sprouted a second head.
"What? No, it's a classic!"
"Tony,” McGee sighed, “it's less than two years old."
"It's a modern classic," Tony corrected.
"Fine, just wake me up when it's over." He settled back against the sofa and closed his eyes, only to open them moments later when Tony turned up the volume on the TV. Tony looked genuinely surprised.
"C'mon, you haven't even got to the dildo chair yet."
"The dildo chair? Yeah, sounds like a piece of comic genius."
Tony shrugged off his biting comment. "Just wait ‘til you see it."
It was clear that Tony was very enthusiastic about this, and McGee had no intention of allowing Tony to piss off his neighbors this early on a Sunday morning by screwing with the volume controls. He rolled his head back to watch the screen and prayed that it wouldn’t take long until this apparently hysterical chair was introduced. Ten excruciating minutes passed by.
"It's a rocking chair with a dildo attached,” he said, slowly. While McGee didn’t find it funny, he did find it interesting.
"Are you even watching the same film as I am?" Tony exclaimed.
"I guess not,” McGee snapped back, “because the most fun I've had since it started was the split second I just spent wondering how well the chair would work.”
“Split second?”
“Well then you interrupted me,” he explained.
Silence descended while McGee tried to follow the storyline and Tony appeared to be fuming.
"If it's adjustable then I guess it would be pretty good," Tony said, as though contemplating it.
Ah, not fuming, just concentrating. It was so hard to tell sometimes.
"The angle looks kinda wrong, though." Even for a woman, McGee thought, because really you’d be sitting pretty far back in that chair.
"Yeah and the seat doesn’t look that comfortable." Tony had his head tilted and McGee wondered if he’d really never thought about it before. Maybe he’d been too busy laughing.
"Motorized would be better," McGee chimed in.
"Motorized?"
"Yeah, that way you wouldn't have to worry about your legs giving out."
"That would be," Tony cleared his throat, "that would be pretty relentless."
"Wouldn't get tired.” McGee smirked as he watched Tony watching the chair “Wouldn't get slow. Could keep on going for hours." He deliberately elongated the last word while he let himself just think about it for a while.
"That would really be something." Tony’s voice sounded far-away as if he were seriously considering it.
"Wouldn't it?"
Tony swallowed down. "What are the chances of you having something like that around here?"
Oh you have to be kidding me "Sure, I've got it hidden in my closet with the cheerleader outfit and classic Ferrari."
"Shame.” Tony turned to McGee, looking a dangerous combination of mischievous and horny. “Oh well, we'll just have to make do, and as it's now unequivocally Sunday morning, it's my turn.”
“I don't see how that works.” There had never been any mention of turns in their agreement.
“You teased me, you spanked me, you even shaved me with a cut-throat razor.”
“- because you made me wear a stupid shirt to work and wouldn’t let me take it off because it was turning you on. This was my reward!” he interjected.
Tony kept going.. “You've had your turn, now it's mine and-”
McGee could tell where this was going and decided to head it off. "Tony, I'm begging you, please don't make a dildo-chair joke right now."
Tony glared at McGee, apparently frustrated. "-and I am going to make you regret interrupting me in my flow."
McGee didn't care. If he'd managed to curtail even one of Tony's puns he counted that as a victory.
A slightly Pyrrhic one, as it turned out.
“You know,” Tony began, getting up from the sofa and grabbing McGee’s arm “I was thinking about being grateful,” he pulled McGee up “maybe even saying thank you for what was, frankly, a very good weekend so far.” He twisted McGee’s arm behind his back and walked them both back into the bedroom.”
“Tony, what the-“
“But now I'm just going to fuck you. Really, really hard.”
It was at this point that Tim remembered that Tony was actually quite strong. More than strong enough to, say, hold him in place against the bedroom wall with one arm. Especially when said arm was twisting his forearm half-way up his back and pressing him into the nearest wall.
When he heard noises from the night-stand beside them, along with the cap of a tube flicking open behind him, he worked out why Tony was holding him with just one arm.
“Don’t think that this is for your benefit,” Tony said behind him, deep breathing lending a dark tone to his voice.
“Fuck,” he ground out as two lube-coated fingers were unceremoniously driven into him. Tony began to move them in and out as McGee realized that, okay, Tony wasn’t quite so pissed off as to want to hurt him. A small part of him felt bad for even worrying about that.
McGee could feel Tony’s fingers going deeper in and he pushed back, wondering if he could force them to hit just where he wanted. Tony responded by pulling the fingers out altogether.
“I’m beginning to think you were right, Timothy.” Tony’s arm moved to push McGee’s head down against the wall. “You really are perverse, aren’t you?”
As Tony placed his cock at McGee’s barely prepared entrance, McGee raised his free arm to brace himself against the wall. There was a bodily shove from behind and McGee could feel Tony pressed up against him. He didn’t have time to enjoy the sensation before Tony pulled out and pushed back in.
“I mean, look at you, you’re really enjoying me fucking you like this, aren’t you McGee? Being as rough as I damn well please?” McGee could feel Tony’s chin scraping his shoulder, his hot breath swirling past McGee’s cheek on every exhale. “I’ll bet you’re about ready to come right now, aren’t you?”
Tony rammed into McGee, leaving him gasping. Tony’s free hand was curled around McGee’s ridiculously hard cock and goddamit, of course he was enjoying this. How the hell could he not? Even if Tony was just pretending to be as pissed off as he was, even if he wasn’t being as rough as he could be, just the feeling of having no damned choice was getting him off.
“You can’t even deny it, can you?” Tony licked McGee’s ear and he couldn’t help but push back against him. The fuck was he going to start playing coy now.
“Oh, what, that not enough for you? You thinking about one of those damned things?” Tony asked. McGee contemplated answering, but had no choice as Tony stepped up his rhythm and began thrusting even harder.
“You know what, I should get one of those,” Tony said, each labored breath curling into McGee’s ear. “Just leave you hooked up to it for hours. Can you imagine that, just have something pounding into you with no way to turn it off? And I’ll just lie there, watching you beg for mercy as it breaks you apart again and again. You wouldn’t be able to sit down for days after.”
“Fuck you, Tony!”
“I’d like to see you try and explain that one to Abby,” Tony mocked.
“Goddamit Tony!” McGee yelled out, coming hard against the wall and Tony’s hand.
Tony kept pushing and pushing until McGee felt him twitch and shudder through his own climax. A vague thought that they’d left the movie playing ran through his mind, before being completely eradicated by an aftershock. He’d never come so hard that he’d had aftershocks before.
He felt the pressure on his arm released and gently pulled it back in front of him. Tony was now bracing himself against the wall, a hand on either side of McGee’s face. He stayed there for a moment before realising that, if they were this close to the bed, why the hell were they still standing up?
“Bed,” McGee said between heavy breaths.
“Too late.”
McGee couldn’t help but smile at what was probably an automatic response from Tony.
He gently pushed on Tony’s arm and guided him down towards the bed. He himself was sure to lie down on his front, but he could feel Tony’s arm fall over his back. It was weird how affectionate Tony could be after mind-blowing sex, he thought, amused.
“I am never going to be able to watch that movie again.”
McGee smirked into the pillow “You could always just skip that scene.”
“Or put it on repeat.”
McGee’s could feel the bed shaking beneath him from his silent laughter. Tony seemed to approve, bending down to kiss the back of McGee’s neck. They lay in silence for a while. McGee made a mental note to remember this the next time Tony was incessantly babbling.
“How good are you with your hands, McGee?”
Of course it wouldn’t last.
He turned his head to give Tony his best “did you really just ask me that?” look.
“Just thinking, about that machine. How hard can it be?”
“Abby’s better at that sort of thing.”
They both paused for a moment. McGee saw Tony shudder at the same time as he did.
“We’re not asking Abby,” he confirmed
“No,” Tony agreed.
“Just in case she already knows how.”
“Definitely not.”
McGee turned his head back into the pillow. “We’ll just have to buy one.”
“What?” Tony sounded scandalized “You heard what he said; they’re over a thousand dollars!”
“Tony, I was there,” McGee felt a twinge of pain as if to remind him just how there he’d been “I felt how hard you were just at the thought of it.”
Tony was quiet for a moment, and McGee was fairly sure he was contemplating this time. “You’re right, we’ll look for one when we get up.”
“I’m never getting up again,” McGee groaned.
“That’s why God invented smartphones, McGoogle.” The weight on the bed shifted as Tony rustled with something to the side of the bed.
“You mean those phones that people like Abby can hack and then broadcast your browsing history to the world?”
There was a sharp thud. McGee hoped Tony had dropped the phone on something soft because he could not be bothered fixing it again.
Noises from the TV suggested that the movie was still playing. The bed shifted and McGee remembered that from one side of the bed, the TV was just about visible.
“Oh hey, here’s a good bit, Brad Pitt’s about to get shot!”
McGee buried his head further into the pillow, bundling up the sides to cover his ears.
“Wake me up when it’s over.”