[You know what's horrifying? Holograms. You know what's even worse? Being Ian during them. So when you hear the horrified shrieks in the plaza, it's probably just Ian being carried by a group of lumberjacks toward a GIANT WHIRRING WOODCHIPPER. Suffice to say, Mr. Kolansky is flailing above their heads in complete terror.]
PLEASE NO, NOT THE CHIPPER, NOT THE CHIPPER!!
I'M DELICATE!!
[It's not even registering that in such situations he'd die in Luceti; thank god for the lack of fatality in this event.]
.....
[Even worse, a couple hours later he's running all across town with people dressed like this after him. Man, he hasn't had this happen in a long-ass while, but it's still far from pleasant. By the time he manages to outrun them, he's gone all through town. His clothes are entirely wrecked and his day is shot to hell, b-but at least he can try to help some people out if they need it. You can find him hiding in the bushes or hanging upside down in a tree, struggling to get his foot out of vines. Or he can slam into you at a hideous speed. Or you can find him cowering in fear behind your house.
... Or you can find him tied up over a pot of boiling water.
Look, the mob wasn't friendly, okay? Kinda obvious.]
[Voice]
D-does anyone need any instant-healing medicine? I know some people were a little 'beat up' today...
Does anyone know why these're popping up like this?
[huff.]
Ah, well. This better not interrupt Parent's Day...
[He'll be around with dirty clothes (what's new), but he'll at least be free of any holograms, should you want him to run into one of yours.]