GUIDE: 5x05 Lucky Thirteen
5x05 - LUCKY THIRTEEN
Writers: Sara Hess & Liz Friedman
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Original Airdate: Oct. 21, 2008
Thirteen brings her one-night stand to the hospital after the woman has a seizure. However, the woman admits she slept with Thirteen so she could get to House and have him diagnose her condition. Meanwhile, House continues to pay Lucas to spy on Wilson.
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I. Cuddy finds Thirteen in Exam Room Two AKA H/C's Sex Romp Room (Cuddy only)
[Thirteen is in a clinic exam room, hooked up to an IV drip. Someone attempts to unlock the door.]
Thirteen: Exam going on, 15 minutes!
[Thirteen jumps up as Cuddy opens the door.]
Cuddy: Good morning, Dr. Hadley.
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II. Prelude to an actual spanking?
[Cuddy's office: House walks in, Cuddy and Thirteen are waiting.]
Cuddy: I found her in the clinic, giving herself IV fluids.
House: At least you could've let her finish. She looks terrible.
Cuddy: She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist. She's in no condition to practice.
House: Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking, there's no reason for me to be--
Cuddy: I want her to take a drug test.
Thirteen: You can't make me do that.
Cuddy: But I can suspend you until you do.
House: Because she went to a nightclub in her free time? Or because she had sex in her free time? Patient was undergoing a routine surgery for RTA. Didn't need Thirteen here for that. And I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup. [Motions to Thirteen] Let's go. Come on.
[The leave Cuddy's office.]
Thirteen: Thank you.
House: By the way, the surgery was not routine, patient stopped breathing, and you missed a differential. You're fired.
Thirteen: What? You just defended me.
House: No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.
Thirteen: I don't have a drug habit.
House: The slutty party girl is fun, until she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.
- - - - - - - - - -
III. Why did Wilson eat the donut? (House only)
[We join this House/Wilson scene already in progress. House has discovered Wilson lied about his white knighting the prostitute, but the question of why he ate the donut remains unanswered.]
House: So, seriously. Where were you the other morning?
Wilson: Ugh, don't make me do this again. It has nothing to do with you.
House: Then tell me.
Wilson: We're going bowling on Monday. I'm coming over to play poker this weekend. Nothing's changed. You have to trust that.
House: Okay.
Wilson: [About to leave, he stops and turns back towards House and sighs] You're gonna keep following me, aren't you?
House: It's what we do.
Wilson: Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight.
- - - - - - - - - -
IV. Best nipples in Princeton!
[We see Wilson enter a baby store, looking for someone. He spots Cuddy standing by a crib. She smiles, he walks over to join her.]
Cuddy: What do you think?
[The store bell rings and House enters. He sees the two of them and feigns shock.]
House: Oh, my god! You guys shop here, too? Best nipples in Princeton!
Cuddy: [does not look thrilled.] Why are you here?
House: Because he ate the donut.
Wilson: I'm so sorry. He must've followed me.
Cuddy: [unconvinced] I'm sure.
House: Well, you're clearly not pregnant, so either you're buying this as a gift, or this is some kind of weird "if you build it, they will come" moment.
Cuddy: I'm adopting a baby. [Her expression finally shifts from slightly annoyed to happy.]
Wilson: [Off-screen, as we watch House's eyes shift back and forth from Cuddy to Wilson, his face falling by the second.] She asked me to be a character reference. That's where I was the other morning. [Wilson motions toward Cuddy] I'm sorry, I couldn't betray her confidence.
Cuddy: [House is still in disbelief] I didn't want anyone else to know, in case I didn't get approved. [She looks at Wilson, then back at House] Today I did. [She's now beaming.]
[Wilson smiles at Cuddy, then looks back at House and sees his reaction, his expression softens a little. House and his jaw are still separated. Wilson looks at him a bit questioningly. House swallows hard.]
Cuddy: Are you gonna congratulate me?
House: If you're happy, I'm...
[He puts his sunglasses back on and leaves Wilson and Cuddy.]
Writers: Sara Hess & Liz Friedman
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Original Airdate: Oct. 21, 2008
Thirteen brings her one-night stand to the hospital after the woman has a seizure. However, the woman admits she slept with Thirteen so she could get to House and have him diagnose her condition. Meanwhile, House continues to pay Lucas to spy on Wilson.
- - - - - - - - - -
I. Cuddy finds Thirteen in Exam Room Two AKA H/C's Sex Romp Room (Cuddy only)
[Thirteen is in a clinic exam room, hooked up to an IV drip. Someone attempts to unlock the door.]
Thirteen: Exam going on, 15 minutes!
[Thirteen jumps up as Cuddy opens the door.]
Cuddy: Good morning, Dr. Hadley.
- - - - - - - - - -
II. Prelude to an actual spanking?
[Cuddy's office: House walks in, Cuddy and Thirteen are waiting.]
Cuddy: I found her in the clinic, giving herself IV fluids.
House: At least you could've let her finish. She looks terrible.
Cuddy: She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist. She's in no condition to practice.
House: Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking, there's no reason for me to be--
Cuddy: I want her to take a drug test.
Thirteen: You can't make me do that.
Cuddy: But I can suspend you until you do.
House: Because she went to a nightclub in her free time? Or because she had sex in her free time? Patient was undergoing a routine surgery for RTA. Didn't need Thirteen here for that. And I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup. [Motions to Thirteen] Let's go. Come on.
[The leave Cuddy's office.]
Thirteen: Thank you.
House: By the way, the surgery was not routine, patient stopped breathing, and you missed a differential. You're fired.
Thirteen: What? You just defended me.
House: No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.
Thirteen: I don't have a drug habit.
House: The slutty party girl is fun, until she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.
- - - - - - - - - -
III. Why did Wilson eat the donut? (House only)
[We join this House/Wilson scene already in progress. House has discovered Wilson lied about his white knighting the prostitute, but the question of why he ate the donut remains unanswered.]
House: So, seriously. Where were you the other morning?
Wilson: Ugh, don't make me do this again. It has nothing to do with you.
House: Then tell me.
Wilson: We're going bowling on Monday. I'm coming over to play poker this weekend. Nothing's changed. You have to trust that.
House: Okay.
Wilson: [About to leave, he stops and turns back towards House and sighs] You're gonna keep following me, aren't you?
House: It's what we do.
Wilson: Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight.
- - - - - - - - - -
IV. Best nipples in Princeton!
[We see Wilson enter a baby store, looking for someone. He spots Cuddy standing by a crib. She smiles, he walks over to join her.]
Cuddy: What do you think?
[The store bell rings and House enters. He sees the two of them and feigns shock.]
House: Oh, my god! You guys shop here, too? Best nipples in Princeton!
Cuddy: [does not look thrilled.] Why are you here?
House: Because he ate the donut.
Wilson: I'm so sorry. He must've followed me.
Cuddy: [unconvinced] I'm sure.
House: Well, you're clearly not pregnant, so either you're buying this as a gift, or this is some kind of weird "if you build it, they will come" moment.
Cuddy: I'm adopting a baby. [Her expression finally shifts from slightly annoyed to happy.]
Wilson: [Off-screen, as we watch House's eyes shift back and forth from Cuddy to Wilson, his face falling by the second.] She asked me to be a character reference. That's where I was the other morning. [Wilson motions toward Cuddy] I'm sorry, I couldn't betray her confidence.
Cuddy: [House is still in disbelief] I didn't want anyone else to know, in case I didn't get approved. [She looks at Wilson, then back at House] Today I did. [She's now beaming.]
[Wilson smiles at Cuddy, then looks back at House and sees his reaction, his expression softens a little. House and his jaw are still separated. Wilson looks at him a bit questioningly. House swallows hard.]
Cuddy: Are you gonna congratulate me?
House: If you're happy, I'm...
[He puts his sunglasses back on and leaves Wilson and Cuddy.]