(no subject)
I should be packing right now..but i figured id come and write in here for a little while.
This summer has been great, but im slowly realizing the real friends i do and do not have.
I duno, i have been thinking a lot about shit latley and nothing seems worth it anymore. Sometimes i have to stop myself from asking to go live in with my cousin in jersey. Everything seems so right down there..and everything seems so misplaced up here.
James keeps calling me to see if i can stay with him for a few days this summer..and i keep not answering my phone. I hate saying no to people...but im trying as hard as i can to not go down there. Im going this saturday to see nancy in the hospital..and then again next weekend for my aunts birthday party.
This week kind of blows. I can tell already
Today: packing..im supposed to show tasha the new house but i havnt talked to her so i doubt its happening. Sean said something about stopping by when his brother gets home..but i dont know when.
I want my license. I hate depending on people. I hate not knowing anything about anything and i hate not being able to do what i want. I want to go to the beach but i want to go not to walk around the whole time..but to just sit there and be content with every surrounding. I want to have a fucking life. I want friends. I have 2. A friend is considered someone you trust with your life..and i have 2. Its kind of sad when you think about it. I have one real friend though...one who i know i will never lose. One who i know will always be there..no matter what. That, i am lucky for. People go their whole lives without finding one ..real.. friend.
Anyway,
Tuesday: Dean said he would bring me to the north school to pick up my yearbook before 12. After that..im probably sitting on my ass all day and not doing anything. Why? because i have no life. Apparently they are going to the beach with jessie and sean or something. I duno..i might tell him i dont need a ride, i dont want to fuck up their plans.
wednesday: I was invited to the beach with dean, jess and amy...but i have to work. I have a feeling i wont get in on time..so i have yet to decide on what im doing. Dont know what im doing after work.
Thursday: work 5-9x
Friday: work 2-6...i think im going to the fireworks with sean..could be wrong.
Saturday: new york to visit nancy in the hospital...
Tasha always use to tell me something whenever i was really upset or not feeling right with anything around me...
'think of daisies'
I love you.
- - - -
i suppose i should continue packing.
.
.
.
I can almost guarentee you this entry will be deleted.
this blOws.
- - - -
Edit: 2:27pm
I am talking to kira for the first time in forever. Im going to see her next weekend...and im completely excited. Its been like 4 months since i've seen anybody.
<3
The day is looking brighter
<3
This summer has been great, but im slowly realizing the real friends i do and do not have.
I duno, i have been thinking a lot about shit latley and nothing seems worth it anymore. Sometimes i have to stop myself from asking to go live in with my cousin in jersey. Everything seems so right down there..and everything seems so misplaced up here.
James keeps calling me to see if i can stay with him for a few days this summer..and i keep not answering my phone. I hate saying no to people...but im trying as hard as i can to not go down there. Im going this saturday to see nancy in the hospital..and then again next weekend for my aunts birthday party.
This week kind of blows. I can tell already
Today: packing..im supposed to show tasha the new house but i havnt talked to her so i doubt its happening. Sean said something about stopping by when his brother gets home..but i dont know when.
I want my license. I hate depending on people. I hate not knowing anything about anything and i hate not being able to do what i want. I want to go to the beach but i want to go not to walk around the whole time..but to just sit there and be content with every surrounding. I want to have a fucking life. I want friends. I have 2. A friend is considered someone you trust with your life..and i have 2. Its kind of sad when you think about it. I have one real friend though...one who i know i will never lose. One who i know will always be there..no matter what. That, i am lucky for. People go their whole lives without finding one ..real.. friend.
Anyway,
Tuesday: Dean said he would bring me to the north school to pick up my yearbook before 12. After that..im probably sitting on my ass all day and not doing anything. Why? because i have no life. Apparently they are going to the beach with jessie and sean or something. I duno..i might tell him i dont need a ride, i dont want to fuck up their plans.
wednesday: I was invited to the beach with dean, jess and amy...but i have to work. I have a feeling i wont get in on time..so i have yet to decide on what im doing. Dont know what im doing after work.
Thursday: work 5-9x
Friday: work 2-6...i think im going to the fireworks with sean..could be wrong.
Saturday: new york to visit nancy in the hospital...
Tasha always use to tell me something whenever i was really upset or not feeling right with anything around me...
'think of daisies'
I love you.
- - - -
i suppose i should continue packing.
.
.
.
I can almost guarentee you this entry will be deleted.
this blOws.
- - - -
Edit: 2:27pm
I am talking to kira for the first time in forever. Im going to see her next weekend...and im completely excited. Its been like 4 months since i've seen anybody.
<3
The day is looking brighter
<3