(no subject)
today, things that shouldn't have gone wrong, decided to go wrong. i dont know, maybe i cant really blame anyone but myself... things just seem to be at odds. so we thought we did an awesome recording and we had much fun at it... laughed at our singing, and felt that for once we did something creative, somewhat not of the ordinary sort of intellectual stuff, but of the mindful kind in another way. perhaps a better word at this, creative. and i spent an entire day making an interactive cd rom from scratch. the thing about it, is not really the amount of time i spent on it, or that i was without sleep the whole night... these are part and parcel of work on projects, and if it is that i took a longer time than normal people would, then so be it... im slow, or i just spend too much time getting my idea together. honestly, this module is silly i even know that myself, and the amount of conscientious work done, zilch normally. but over the week, guess much thought actually did go into it. and today is just the culmination of it all. with one project not so done, a paper not written, quiz not taken because of network error, whatever.
but midway, midway of it... im not done with anything, and it's my fault, but i had to feel stupid and somewhat worthless that im stuck with this. taking 1 extra year to graduate, not really having a choice to take more meaningful modules, and already doing half of what everyone else is doing.
not trying to do some self-pitying here. but at this moment, i feel unmotivated to carry on the rest of today, to suddenly realize we are not to submit a recording but to do it live, now without live instrumentation. and i hate last minute things. why cant people be more bothered, rush a bit more, since things are already wrong? rush it up and save it, and not take such a slack stand on it. and leave everything to such a last minute time like 1215pm, to rush out and in again.
seriously, i feel lame. i just feel that this is damn lame.
but midway, midway of it... im not done with anything, and it's my fault, but i had to feel stupid and somewhat worthless that im stuck with this. taking 1 extra year to graduate, not really having a choice to take more meaningful modules, and already doing half of what everyone else is doing.
not trying to do some self-pitying here. but at this moment, i feel unmotivated to carry on the rest of today, to suddenly realize we are not to submit a recording but to do it live, now without live instrumentation. and i hate last minute things. why cant people be more bothered, rush a bit more, since things are already wrong? rush it up and save it, and not take such a slack stand on it. and leave everything to such a last minute time like 1215pm, to rush out and in again.
seriously, i feel lame. i just feel that this is damn lame.