(no subject)
As I sit here going through all my old journal entries it makes me want to cry.
I miss everything.
I miss high school and its crazy ways. Even though I hated getting up at the crack of dawn five days a week to sit in a classroom for six hours, I look back now and realized how amazing it really was. Being with each other made each class a different bond. Although not everyone got along in each class everyone gave their own. I miss seeing all my amazing friends at least one period a day. I miss all the stupid inside jokes to each class. I miss my extensive locker time and how I don't think I ever got to one class on time senior year. I miss my homroom buddies Ryan and James sosososososososo muchhhh. I loved how Amendola had one of us call the other to see if we were coming because we were always so late. I miss writing crazy shit all over James' locker. I miss James and Dave "fighting" over me and who was with my the night before. I miss hanging all over the poles in the cafe and mingling all over lunch. I miss singing to songs with Lizzie in Retail and stealing as much candy as I possibly could. I miss 68,000 and Sarhan. I miss studies and playing crazy games with Crawley. I miss leaving class to walk around aimlessly without anyone caring. And peaking in doors of other classrooms to wave to everyone I knew. I miss drama and I miss Frap. I miss being lost in spanish with Kyle and trying to cheat on everything with him. I miss my famous A Day lunches. I miss crazy spirit week days and dressing up all crazy. I miss Dean. I miss him so much it drives me crazy. I miss going to visit him and talking about random shit and playing pranks on each other. I miss him telling me dumb stories and listening to my whining and everytime he always made me feel better. I went back and read my senior speech about him and balled. I'm lost without my big brother. <3
I miss seeing everyone I loved, laughing all the time, and even though the work sucked I miss the atmosphere.
College is so different. There's so many random people in class and most of the time no one wants to talk to each other. I don't know everyone like I used to and there's no crazy jokes. I don't get to spend time with everyone like I used to and lunch isn't as fun anymore. I don't have my backbone anymore, I don't laugh as much as I used to. I need my class, I miss them sososososososooooo much. I'm really lost without you all.
My life without dance is the worst thing I have ever dealt with.
Dance is my life. It's my passion. Since I was three years old I have has my ballerina shoes on every week. It's been six months and I don't know what to do with myself. I want to take classes but i don't know where. I want to further my experience and do it for the rest of my life. Its the only thing I have ever loved. I feel so free and happy when I'm on stage and when I'm in the studio. I miss Miss Arlene and Shannon so much. I feel lost without seeing them and their smiles every week. I miss my girls! They are my life, my sisters forever and ever. We've been through so much together and no one knows me like they do. They have the key to my heart and no one can ever replace them, EVER. They're my strength through life. And my little girls have stolen my heart. I miss my little Isabel being attached to my hip every day and I miss all the other little girls clinging to me and calling me Miss Tabitha. I want to be back with my dance family. I can't stand living without them.
And I know I'm lame to write this, but I miss love.
I miss the butterflies and the feeling. Wishing on a star everynight for them to feel the same. Hoping each and every day that they would give me some attention, a smile, a conversation. I hated the feeling so much, but god do I miss longing for them. It was this crazy feeling and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the feeling to go away. They could break my heart over and over and I would still run right back. The times we did spend, I cherish them good or bad. My feelings still stay strong in my heart, hoping one day.
I don't want to grow up.
I miss everything.
I miss high school and its crazy ways. Even though I hated getting up at the crack of dawn five days a week to sit in a classroom for six hours, I look back now and realized how amazing it really was. Being with each other made each class a different bond. Although not everyone got along in each class everyone gave their own. I miss seeing all my amazing friends at least one period a day. I miss all the stupid inside jokes to each class. I miss my extensive locker time and how I don't think I ever got to one class on time senior year. I miss my homroom buddies Ryan and James sosososososososo muchhhh. I loved how Amendola had one of us call the other to see if we were coming because we were always so late. I miss writing crazy shit all over James' locker. I miss James and Dave "fighting" over me and who was with my the night before. I miss hanging all over the poles in the cafe and mingling all over lunch. I miss singing to songs with Lizzie in Retail and stealing as much candy as I possibly could. I miss 68,000 and Sarhan. I miss studies and playing crazy games with Crawley. I miss leaving class to walk around aimlessly without anyone caring. And peaking in doors of other classrooms to wave to everyone I knew. I miss drama and I miss Frap. I miss being lost in spanish with Kyle and trying to cheat on everything with him. I miss my famous A Day lunches. I miss crazy spirit week days and dressing up all crazy. I miss Dean. I miss him so much it drives me crazy. I miss going to visit him and talking about random shit and playing pranks on each other. I miss him telling me dumb stories and listening to my whining and everytime he always made me feel better. I went back and read my senior speech about him and balled. I'm lost without my big brother. <3
I miss seeing everyone I loved, laughing all the time, and even though the work sucked I miss the atmosphere.
College is so different. There's so many random people in class and most of the time no one wants to talk to each other. I don't know everyone like I used to and there's no crazy jokes. I don't get to spend time with everyone like I used to and lunch isn't as fun anymore. I don't have my backbone anymore, I don't laugh as much as I used to. I need my class, I miss them sososososososooooo much. I'm really lost without you all.
My life without dance is the worst thing I have ever dealt with.
Dance is my life. It's my passion. Since I was three years old I have has my ballerina shoes on every week. It's been six months and I don't know what to do with myself. I want to take classes but i don't know where. I want to further my experience and do it for the rest of my life. Its the only thing I have ever loved. I feel so free and happy when I'm on stage and when I'm in the studio. I miss Miss Arlene and Shannon so much. I feel lost without seeing them and their smiles every week. I miss my girls! They are my life, my sisters forever and ever. We've been through so much together and no one knows me like they do. They have the key to my heart and no one can ever replace them, EVER. They're my strength through life. And my little girls have stolen my heart. I miss my little Isabel being attached to my hip every day and I miss all the other little girls clinging to me and calling me Miss Tabitha. I want to be back with my dance family. I can't stand living without them.
And I know I'm lame to write this, but I miss love.
I miss the butterflies and the feeling. Wishing on a star everynight for them to feel the same. Hoping each and every day that they would give me some attention, a smile, a conversation. I hated the feeling so much, but god do I miss longing for them. It was this crazy feeling and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the feeling to go away. They could break my heart over and over and I would still run right back. The times we did spend, I cherish them good or bad. My feelings still stay strong in my heart, hoping one day.
I don't want to grow up.