Lucky (Sam/Dean; ficlet)
Inspired by this scene in "Mommy Dearest":
I remember when I wanted a normal life. Growing up was everything I dreamed of, everything I wanted. I wanted to be like the other kids, like the ones whose lives I saw…
It took me losing you, time and again, to get a simple truth: we might not have been normal, but we were happy. I remember drifting off to sleep, with you next to me, feeling like no one, nothing could ever touch me, hurt me. Even when dad wasn’t around, I was never afraid. You’d take care of me.
It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t apple pie life: it was fucked up, it fucked us up, to the point that we cannot exist, function…sometimes even want to live without the other…but it was real ...like the pride in your eyes whenever I got an A at school or killed a monster.
It wasn’t normal, maybe, but you taught me everything, you protected me, you let me go away, you let me have what I thought I wanted…you brought me back, again and again. You still do…
You loved me…like a father, a brother, like a friend, like a lover…in any way you…we can love each other.
You still do.
I’m lucky, Dean. We both are.
I remember when I wanted a normal life. Growing up was everything I dreamed of, everything I wanted. I wanted to be like the other kids, like the ones whose lives I saw…
It took me losing you, time and again, to get a simple truth: we might not have been normal, but we were happy. I remember drifting off to sleep, with you next to me, feeling like no one, nothing could ever touch me, hurt me. Even when dad wasn’t around, I was never afraid. You’d take care of me.
It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t apple pie life: it was fucked up, it fucked us up, to the point that we cannot exist, function…sometimes even want to live without the other…but it was real ...like the pride in your eyes whenever I got an A at school or killed a monster.
It wasn’t normal, maybe, but you taught me everything, you protected me, you let me go away, you let me have what I thought I wanted…you brought me back, again and again. You still do…
You loved me…like a father, a brother, like a friend, like a lover…in any way you…we can love each other.
You still do.
I’m lucky, Dean. We both are.