Finding ourselves (Sam//Dean; ficlet)
You thank your brother for trusting you again, not knowing, yet, that he saw the future and he finally got into his thick skull that you two are to be together, that apart you both get swallowed by darkness…that apart you bring forth the end of the world.
You don’t know, yet, what he saw. You don’t know what he became, in the future, you don’t know that you both lost your souls in the future, although you have spent the previous night feeling almost on the verge of losing yours.You go to him, eating away the miles in a stolen car, thinking about all the things you want to say, as his words, his goodbye from the previous night, still lingers in the air, still makes your breath catch in your throat.
He’s been waiting for you and you recognize the signs of something haunting him in his eyes, in the set of his shoulders, in the subtle changes in the green of his eyes. He will not acknowledge what’s really troubling him, not yet…you know it will come later, after hours spent driving, when the silence will be filled with silent questions, with pleas that might or might not be answered later, in the dark.
You still don’t know that his heart was shattered, you still don’t know that he recoiled at the mere idea of Lucifer, wearing your skin, touching him…because in his mind, of all the sins he has committed - and really, one of these days, you think, you’ll manage to shake him by his shoulders, to rattle him until you’ll finally shake all that self loathing away - that might have been the worst.
He surprises you, but then again, he always does, it’s one of the reasons you love him, one of the reasons that make you fall in love with him, again, while you’re both tired, broken.
“But more than that,” He says, and his voice is deeper, you feel, hear, how much he’s fighting to control the emotion, “we keep each other human”
He hands you the knife, the physical reminder of Ruby, of the mistakes you made, of the scar they left on both of you.
There are things you still don’t know, questions crowding your mind, as you both get into the car and drive away, you feel his eyes on you and then he pulls to the side of the road, silence heavy and thick between you, until all questions, doubts are eclipsed by his arms, enveloping you, by his lips pressed against yours.
You still don’t know many things…and you don’t care, not now. There will be time. All that matters are his arms, around you. All that matters is the love…he feels for you, and how much what you feel for him is threatening to make your heart burst.
You hold onto each other.
There is time, you think, all the time in the world.