The Intervention
Alright, so more badness but I think it is getting better, mostly because it is now decided that Mom is leaving and I am staying (at least for a little while). We had this whole 'intervention' think last night where my moms' bother and sister came over and just had a really long talk about everything. Finally, mom was forced to come clean about the lies that she told them to manipulate them into pitting her and getting her out here. She told my aunt that dad abused her (absolutely ridiculous) and just happened to leave out the trips to Cherokee County Prison and detox (all 3-4 times) so they didn't know anything about even her drinking problem. Hah, were they surprised. Mom is just stressing the fuck out of everyone. So now pretty much she just wants to go home and have dad take care of her, however since she HARDLY EVER SHOWS UP FOR FUCKING WORK she doesn't have the money for the ticket so her brother is nice enough to offer to pay for it (I think mostly to save everyone's sanity) and her response to this is not 'thank you' but that two weeks is too long to wait to leave. What the fuck is wrong with her? Doesn't she realize that a ticket for, say, next Monday would be like $500!? Obviously even with this whole experience of 'independence' she still doesn't know shit about life or money. She is perfectly useless. Even with all this and her family supporting her she doesn't appreciate anything and just feels entitled to what she gets which is ridiculous. She doesn't want to stop drinking but if she wants to go home then she has to at least for a little while, but I have much doubt in this whole plan which is why I have elected to stay here for a bit. There are a few reasons for this; first of all whenever mom goes through this whole process, dad always says 'this is the last time' and 'if you start again we're getting a divorce' and shit like that and never follows through. Therefore, mom doesn't feel there are consequences, and she is perfectly right. Dad can't really help it, he wants her to get better but also, understandably, doesn't want his life to be hell so he gives her what she wants. I don't see what is so awful about her life that she is so depressed that she needs to drink herself into a stupor nightly, I mean dad doesn't make her work, she doesn't clean the house or anything like that, she just sits around all day and does whatever she wants. Though we don't have the money, she goes shopping for ridiculous things all the time, and no one really, from experience, expects anything from her. The thing is that no one, not even her family here, can trust in a word she says she is always lying through here teeth and making all these false promises. I've learned just to avoid talking to her because everything she says is complete bullshit and I know it. So, needless to say she is driving me nuts now even more than ever. Thank god she's working this weekend and I get to go to the coast with Albertine and Chris again all by my lonesome. It's supposed to be kind of rainy and cold this weekend but I will take that over mom any day, plus the beach is really fucking awesome during storms. Maybe I can find some of that glass that happens when lightning strikes the sand, that would be sweetness. I am really trying to look on the bright side of things as much as I can. If I don't laugh about this stuff I am going to go insane, it's all I can do. I had my interview with trader joes's today and I think it went really well, but of course with all the bureaucratic red tape I have to go back for a follow-up interview with some other high-up on Monday and then I guess I will know. I read my tarot cards this morning asking about my stay here in OR and there were many cards that come up meaning monetary gain and new beginings so I'm thinking if I don't get this job I will get one pretty soon. They also mentioned my aunt as my kind of grounding person, like she supports me and helps me keep things in perspective. She's been really great and I don't know what I would have done without her to talk to, she's kind of nuts but I guess that's just a family trait. So, all in all, I think I'll get a job pretty soon and things with be 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times better once mom gets the fuck out of my life for awhile ugh! So, that's a good recap I guess. Really with the past few days I've been drawing, making braclettes and waking around downtown and various other places, being harassed as usual haha. Hope you all are well, call me!
<3 Jessi
<3 Jessi