Perspective is a funny thing
Although there is a universal reality and a universal truth, individual reality and individual truth are merely manipulations you create for yourself out of the data that you choose. True, the data that flows towards any individual is incomplete and each individual builds their reality and truth frameworks from that incomplete data.
This past week I found myself once again put into a lose-lose scenario by someone I used to consider one of my closest friends. They have their own perspective on who I am and why I do things and even what I do, which doesn't match mine at all. There's some miscommunication and lack of information abounding, but there's also a lot of venom and anger being thrown at me that's never healed from a kerfluffle in the past where we both believed "our side" was legitimately acting in the right, and likely still feel that way when all is said and done.
I am so damn frustrated and tired of this scenario, where I am accused of something and no matter which action I take the person can use it to justify an opinion they chose to form of me. There's nothing I can do about their perspective or how they are going to filter data. It is hurtful, and maddening, and exhausting to continue dealing with this over time. We're quickly reaching (or have reached) a point where the limited positive interactions are far outweighed by the negative interactions, and I'm having a hard time seeing any path to a positive resolution.
I have been tiptoeing on eggshells for months, and am being treated like a stampeding elephant herd. Why even bother trying?
To be fair, I am equally certain that my perspective is lacking information about where they are coming from. I'm willing to admit that, and have not gone the accusatory route in this scenario - but I'm expected to be 100% wrong and somehow swallow a huge line of vitriol and angst and unresolved drama that's tossed at me as thought it's gospel truth. Maybe the accusatory path would have at least shared more of my perspective, but I tend to avoid that because it hurts people and usually just opens wounds further. I was looking for resolution in the past, and never found it. I'm not sure that blunt honesty will help here, because that is going to be hurtful yet again. What honesty I shared in the past was completely rejected - maybe just throwing it all out there would at least clear the air completely, even if the friendship can't be salvaged.
I've been stewing on this for days now, have asked multiple friends/advisors familiar with the situation and accusations for input and advice regarding action steps, and have still been left feeling completely stalled without a scenario that is likely to end happily.
Wick and I are trying to deal with it together, but it's just fucking maddening.
This past week I found myself once again put into a lose-lose scenario by someone I used to consider one of my closest friends. They have their own perspective on who I am and why I do things and even what I do, which doesn't match mine at all. There's some miscommunication and lack of information abounding, but there's also a lot of venom and anger being thrown at me that's never healed from a kerfluffle in the past where we both believed "our side" was legitimately acting in the right, and likely still feel that way when all is said and done.
I am so damn frustrated and tired of this scenario, where I am accused of something and no matter which action I take the person can use it to justify an opinion they chose to form of me. There's nothing I can do about their perspective or how they are going to filter data. It is hurtful, and maddening, and exhausting to continue dealing with this over time. We're quickly reaching (or have reached) a point where the limited positive interactions are far outweighed by the negative interactions, and I'm having a hard time seeing any path to a positive resolution.
I have been tiptoeing on eggshells for months, and am being treated like a stampeding elephant herd. Why even bother trying?
To be fair, I am equally certain that my perspective is lacking information about where they are coming from. I'm willing to admit that, and have not gone the accusatory route in this scenario - but I'm expected to be 100% wrong and somehow swallow a huge line of vitriol and angst and unresolved drama that's tossed at me as thought it's gospel truth. Maybe the accusatory path would have at least shared more of my perspective, but I tend to avoid that because it hurts people and usually just opens wounds further. I was looking for resolution in the past, and never found it. I'm not sure that blunt honesty will help here, because that is going to be hurtful yet again. What honesty I shared in the past was completely rejected - maybe just throwing it all out there would at least clear the air completely, even if the friendship can't be salvaged.
I've been stewing on this for days now, have asked multiple friends/advisors familiar with the situation and accusations for input and advice regarding action steps, and have still been left feeling completely stalled without a scenario that is likely to end happily.
Wick and I are trying to deal with it together, but it's just fucking maddening.