Apr 16, 2010 16:05
If you have ever internet dated then you have had that moment when you first lay eyes on the Real Life version of the person in the profile and your heart sinks. You think, NO WAY! Unfortunately it’s always, YES WAY! This is exactly what happened to me last night.
The guy I was talking to asked me out and then asked me to plan the date. I wish I could muster up the energy to be annoyed by this, but I have learned that unless I want to end up eating dinner at Chili’s and going to a lame ass movie it’s just better if I plan things. So I bought tickets to Spiked at the Desert Botanical Garden. Really cool event with a catered dinner, live music, outdoor garden setting... you know. Something that isn’t chicken fingers, fries and Anchorman. Anyway, I digress. I was walking up towards the entrance and there was this guy standing there. From a distance I thought it was him but as I got closer I had doubts because my gaydar was going off. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! GAY MAN TRYING TO PASS AS HETERO STRAIGHT AHEAD. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
I got closer and made eye contact, hoping it wasn't him. He returned the eye contact but did not say anything or walk toward me so I just went past him and up the path to get our tickets from will call. But then it happened. I got a text from him saying he was the handsome man I just passed and why didn’t I say hello? Oh. My. Gaydar.
What’s a girl to do? What I SHOULD have done is returned the text saying he must have the wrong person because I was running late, found another exit and gotten the hell out of there. I’m too nice of a person for that though, so I replied to him and told him I was at the will call window and to meet me there. We then exchanged a terribly awkward hello, him a bit peeved I didn’t recognize him and me wondering why the heck he is out with a vagina when he so obviously wants the peen. Because seriously? In a contest between a penis and a vagina the penis ALWAYS wins.
Here’s why I think he’s gay:
• He LOOKS gay
• He knows his colors far too well (called my shorts "turquoise" instead of blue and a plant color "sage" instead of green)
• He talks with his hands in a very effeminate manner
• He kept talking about his shoes
• He sashays rather than walks
• He is a former Marine and now he’s a cop - compensating much?
My therapist told me several weeks ago that I have a pattern of dating men like my father and I was all, "No I don't! All the men I date are straight!" Turns out she was talking about the fact that I go after emotionally unavailable men (true story) just like my father. So when she told me to stop dating my dad I really don't think this is what she had in mind.
Needless to say the evening was a bust. Thank Gaydar for Chardonnay. I’m not sure I would have survived the evening without it.
boys,
daily