Karma is a bitch.
Last night, this is what I said to Kylene: “I think the reason you’ve been without electricity for 5 days is because God is mad at you for moving to Seattle. You brought this on yourself!” She said, “That is NOT even a little bit funny, Sarah!” but I laughed anyway.
(for those of you living in a cave the Northwest has been experiencing hurricane force winds, heavy rainfall, and ice conditions - a tree fell on the transformer that powers Kylene’s house so she’s been without electricity - no heat, no hot water, no lights, no TV save what they can run off of Jason’s small generator - for almost a week and it’s like 30 degrees there)
So, this morning when I woke up it was about 58 degrees in my apartment and I had no hot water. Thankfully I have a space heater which I immediately plugged in at the bathroom so I wouldn’t freeze while I took a whore’s bath with water I heated on the stove. I totally got what I deserved for teasing her about their situation up there. One might even call it poetic irony, which seems to be running rampant lately (right, Sommer? Ha!).
In other news, Niblet is in the dog house. Figuratively, of course, since he’s a cat who isn’t allowed outside. I wrapped presents Monday night (got almost everything done, except for 4 gifts) and when I left for work yesterday morning I gave him EXPLICIT instructions to leave the ribbons alone. He acted like he was listening, but he obviously wasn’t. Obvious because when I got home late last night there were little bits of ribbon strung out everywhere, most of the packages were overturned and will need to be repaired and there was cat vomit in THREE different locations, each little mound with curly ribbon springing out of it. Why, why, WHY does he do this to himself every year? I know that his stomach hurts, he’s been following me around the house meowing more than usual and he won’t even TOUCH his food dish. Let me tell you, Niblet’s favorite part of each day is when I fill his food dish (mmmmm food, he takes after his mama) so the fact that he won’t go near it is proof he doesn’t feel good. The next thing that will happen is he will poop it out, but it’ll get stuck and I’ll have to pull (literally) shitty ribbon FROM HIS ASSHOLE. This happens EVERY year and it is fucking disgusting!
I know that as an alternative I could just wrap packages and not use ribbon. But I happen to LIKE decorating packages with ribbon and bows and little ornaments and stuff. It’s fun for me. It’s also apparently extremely fun for Niblet. Until he throws it up and poops it out that is.
Today at work we’re having our Holiday Potluck. I brought my mom’s now famous double chocolate cake that I baked myself at her house last night. I have no illusions of winning the “best dish” contest. After the utter FAILURE of the department decorating contest I’m smarter than that. But the cake is DAMN good. I just hope there’s plenty left over so Kerri, Sommer and I can each have a piece tomorrow night when we do our little gift exchange.
Anyway, I think that’s about it. Oh, I had a good weekend! I don’t believe I’ve written about it yet. Kerri and I went to the Outback for dinner Friday night, and then we went shopping at Tarjay. Saturday I went to the mall and finished ALL my Christmas shopping, plus I bought 2 pairs of fantastic jeans for myself at Nordstrom. Then that night I went over to Brent and Rebecca’s for their Christmas party. Everyone brought different types of wine and/or desserts to share, which is like, the best party theme, EVER. After that we made an attempt to go dancing at Devil’s, but were thwarted by El Brento (Brent drunk on Patron). We eventually got them in a cab and the K’s and I got back to Devil’s. Pizza Boy was there with some friends, so I hung with him for a while, lost the K’s (who I guess just went to the bathroom but were gone FORever) and then he and I left. Sunday was DELICIOUS because I didn’t do a damn thing, not even shower. I slept on and off all day and only left my house to drive through Taco Bell for dinner.
Last night I met my fam for dinner at Poncho’s Mexican Buffet, which is pretty much the only buffet I will eat at. The food is delicious, it’s serious. James was bouncing off the walls and Marissa hardly spoke a word. Apparently they are both sick with ear infections and colds but they have extremely different reactions to the medicine Josh gave them. Marissa was totally stoned and James acted like he was on speed, ha! When we left there I went to my mom’s as I stated above, to bake the cake for today. I drove all the way out there because I don’t own a bunt pan and didn’t want to buy one. So I started mixing the cake batter, and my mom realized she couldn’t find the pan. Marissa cleans her kitchen now to earn money, so my mom has NO clue where anything is anymore. We searched everywhere and couldn’t find it, so my mom ran to *barf*Wal-Mart*barf* to buy one while I finished mixing the batter. The good news is that now I own a bunt pan, because I get to keep it. Anyway, it took forever and I didn’t get home until after 10, where upon entering my house I had to clean up pieces of ribbon and cat vomit.
And now we’ve come full circle.
(for those of you living in a cave the Northwest has been experiencing hurricane force winds, heavy rainfall, and ice conditions - a tree fell on the transformer that powers Kylene’s house so she’s been without electricity - no heat, no hot water, no lights, no TV save what they can run off of Jason’s small generator - for almost a week and it’s like 30 degrees there)
So, this morning when I woke up it was about 58 degrees in my apartment and I had no hot water. Thankfully I have a space heater which I immediately plugged in at the bathroom so I wouldn’t freeze while I took a whore’s bath with water I heated on the stove. I totally got what I deserved for teasing her about their situation up there. One might even call it poetic irony, which seems to be running rampant lately (right, Sommer? Ha!).
In other news, Niblet is in the dog house. Figuratively, of course, since he’s a cat who isn’t allowed outside. I wrapped presents Monday night (got almost everything done, except for 4 gifts) and when I left for work yesterday morning I gave him EXPLICIT instructions to leave the ribbons alone. He acted like he was listening, but he obviously wasn’t. Obvious because when I got home late last night there were little bits of ribbon strung out everywhere, most of the packages were overturned and will need to be repaired and there was cat vomit in THREE different locations, each little mound with curly ribbon springing out of it. Why, why, WHY does he do this to himself every year? I know that his stomach hurts, he’s been following me around the house meowing more than usual and he won’t even TOUCH his food dish. Let me tell you, Niblet’s favorite part of each day is when I fill his food dish (mmmmm food, he takes after his mama) so the fact that he won’t go near it is proof he doesn’t feel good. The next thing that will happen is he will poop it out, but it’ll get stuck and I’ll have to pull (literally) shitty ribbon FROM HIS ASSHOLE. This happens EVERY year and it is fucking disgusting!
I know that as an alternative I could just wrap packages and not use ribbon. But I happen to LIKE decorating packages with ribbon and bows and little ornaments and stuff. It’s fun for me. It’s also apparently extremely fun for Niblet. Until he throws it up and poops it out that is.
Today at work we’re having our Holiday Potluck. I brought my mom’s now famous double chocolate cake that I baked myself at her house last night. I have no illusions of winning the “best dish” contest. After the utter FAILURE of the department decorating contest I’m smarter than that. But the cake is DAMN good. I just hope there’s plenty left over so Kerri, Sommer and I can each have a piece tomorrow night when we do our little gift exchange.
Anyway, I think that’s about it. Oh, I had a good weekend! I don’t believe I’ve written about it yet. Kerri and I went to the Outback for dinner Friday night, and then we went shopping at Tarjay. Saturday I went to the mall and finished ALL my Christmas shopping, plus I bought 2 pairs of fantastic jeans for myself at Nordstrom. Then that night I went over to Brent and Rebecca’s for their Christmas party. Everyone brought different types of wine and/or desserts to share, which is like, the best party theme, EVER. After that we made an attempt to go dancing at Devil’s, but were thwarted by El Brento (Brent drunk on Patron). We eventually got them in a cab and the K’s and I got back to Devil’s. Pizza Boy was there with some friends, so I hung with him for a while, lost the K’s (who I guess just went to the bathroom but were gone FORever) and then he and I left. Sunday was DELICIOUS because I didn’t do a damn thing, not even shower. I slept on and off all day and only left my house to drive through Taco Bell for dinner.
Last night I met my fam for dinner at Poncho’s Mexican Buffet, which is pretty much the only buffet I will eat at. The food is delicious, it’s serious. James was bouncing off the walls and Marissa hardly spoke a word. Apparently they are both sick with ear infections and colds but they have extremely different reactions to the medicine Josh gave them. Marissa was totally stoned and James acted like he was on speed, ha! When we left there I went to my mom’s as I stated above, to bake the cake for today. I drove all the way out there because I don’t own a bunt pan and didn’t want to buy one. So I started mixing the cake batter, and my mom realized she couldn’t find the pan. Marissa cleans her kitchen now to earn money, so my mom has NO clue where anything is anymore. We searched everywhere and couldn’t find it, so my mom ran to *barf*Wal-Mart*barf* to buy one while I finished mixing the batter. The good news is that now I own a bunt pan, because I get to keep it. Anyway, it took forever and I didn’t get home until after 10, where upon entering my house I had to clean up pieces of ribbon and cat vomit.
And now we’ve come full circle.