Exams, flaming fury, and how to piss off the Queen of the Exam Hall
I woke up this morning in a very Old Kay mood. I'm not sure what I drank last night that shook my system so, but when I peeled myself off the bathroom floor at 4am it seemed to have done the trick. Thus, for the first time in exactly nine months and twenty days, the old, proper me strolled into school at a nonchalent time and beat seven shades of shit out of two exam papers. It was like one of those old, badly dubbed kung-fu films where the subtitles were all done by bored students and have no grammatical correctness. The exams were all "Haha you are weak we will destroy you", and I was like "No fucking way, hombres. I am the Lizard Queen." So then they were all "Haha you are foolish to challenge us now you die", but just as they were about to suffocate me with long, pretentious words that act only as sentence fillers, I pulled out the Katana of Disproportionately Violent Anger and tore them a new one, before throwing them through my desk and out of the door. Angry that the exams had failed to crush another young hopeful, and worried that other people were too stupid to concentrate on failing their exams while I was beating the shit out of mine, some old hag of the Invigilator rank came to tell me to shut up, but having just proclaimed myself Lizard Queen of the Exam Hall I punted her through that window in the theatre for her insolence.
So to translate for people who don't speak kung-fu, and bloody should:
My exams went pretty damn well.
So I came home feeling grimly determined to be in a good mood. I felt a bit crappy as soon as I thought about The Joe Problem, and decided to delve into my secret stash of awesome biscuits. I was greatly enraged to discover my bratty sister had been at them again. It was like Pompei all over again.
But rather than destroy my house in an eruption of similar magnitude, I quickly opened the Kay Manual of Self Help, flicked to chapter 4, followed the advice and ate every biscuit in the house. That'll show her.
BISCUIT ORGY, RAR!
So to translate for people who don't speak kung-fu, and bloody should:
My exams went pretty damn well.
So I came home feeling grimly determined to be in a good mood. I felt a bit crappy as soon as I thought about The Joe Problem, and decided to delve into my secret stash of awesome biscuits. I was greatly enraged to discover my bratty sister had been at them again. It was like Pompei all over again.
But rather than destroy my house in an eruption of similar magnitude, I quickly opened the Kay Manual of Self Help, flicked to chapter 4, followed the advice and ate every biscuit in the house. That'll show her.
BISCUIT ORGY, RAR!