Kayleigh and the Fairly Bad Week III: In which the Fairly Bad Week starts to take the piss
Don't you just hate it when the people you like turn out to be raving homosexuals? Kay sure as hell does.
This is getting ridiculous! I can't like anyone without them turning out to be queer! I'm cursed, I'm actually cursed. I'm the girl with the purple touch.
It is this, and a call from work telling me that they have changed my paid week off unconditionally, so my trip to see filming buddies in Oxford will be cut short, that has led me to formulate a plan:
OPERATION SHOP-LIKE-A-TWAT-DAY
Comrades, it is time to show some spunk and fight for the sanity of all student retail workers! Put on your most offensive t-shirts, turn up your speakers and chew gum with your mouth open as we launch the campaign! If you drive, do so at high speeds around the supermarket car park, clipping wing mirrors, parking across three spaces (you get bonus points if it's over disabled parking and you're not) and making pedestrians dive for their lives! Rip your trolley out of someone else's hands and hurtle into the shop, knocking over displays into customers! Bash trolleys! Steal things out of other people's baskets! Be impertinent to old folk! And most of all, mouth off everyone who comes within six feet of you, whenever you're not gabbing away on your mobile phone about how much everyone around you is a cunt! Then, after leaving your trolley parked behind someone's vehicle, drive out of the carpark the wrong way at breakneck speeds!
Note: If we haven't caused some kind of accident by the end of the operation, we'll have to start again from scratch the next week.
Volunteer now, before I introduce conscription.
EDIT: Ha, he's not gay! I'm not cursed, just stupidly unlucky! He still doesn't fancy me, but who cares! He's not gay! Fuck you, gypsy witch! Your hex failed! Haha!
This is getting ridiculous! I can't like anyone without them turning out to be queer! I'm cursed, I'm actually cursed. I'm the girl with the purple touch.
It is this, and a call from work telling me that they have changed my paid week off unconditionally, so my trip to see filming buddies in Oxford will be cut short, that has led me to formulate a plan:
OPERATION SHOP-LIKE-A-TWAT-DAY
Comrades, it is time to show some spunk and fight for the sanity of all student retail workers! Put on your most offensive t-shirts, turn up your speakers and chew gum with your mouth open as we launch the campaign! If you drive, do so at high speeds around the supermarket car park, clipping wing mirrors, parking across three spaces (you get bonus points if it's over disabled parking and you're not) and making pedestrians dive for their lives! Rip your trolley out of someone else's hands and hurtle into the shop, knocking over displays into customers! Bash trolleys! Steal things out of other people's baskets! Be impertinent to old folk! And most of all, mouth off everyone who comes within six feet of you, whenever you're not gabbing away on your mobile phone about how much everyone around you is a cunt! Then, after leaving your trolley parked behind someone's vehicle, drive out of the carpark the wrong way at breakneck speeds!
Note: If we haven't caused some kind of accident by the end of the operation, we'll have to start again from scratch the next week.
Volunteer now, before I introduce conscription.
EDIT: Ha, he's not gay! I'm not cursed, just stupidly unlucky! He still doesn't fancy me, but who cares! He's not gay! Fuck you, gypsy witch! Your hex failed! Haha!